| Logical Sense |
Posted
on 19-Sep-02 07:50 PM
Hmm! Interesting question for me to dive in.
Let me put a advisor and analyst hat!
First off, you have not given us lots of information, so I need to start somewhere. Let see, your name is Salina180 and your friend is confused!
Let us see the significance of your name. Salina180, this right away tells me that you were born on January, 1980. In Nepal you would be 23 years old, and here in US you will be 22 years old.
From this I assume your friend is also of your age that is 22 years old and you gals may be about to finish your bachelor degrees and hence ready to go back to Nepal. She left her boy friend in Nepal 5 years ago. That means your friend thinks she is in LOVE with the guy she met when she was 17/18 years old, in fact may be younger, because you don't fall in LOVE with somebody just before boarding the Plane.
So, a girl 16 years of old meets a guy, thinks he is the best guy in the whole World and thinks they will tie a knot, but comes to USA and spend 5 years in USA with free mind. Never meets the guy (well as you said small interaction in between does not count) This confuses her, because a girl matures a lot in these five years especially in free country. Now, 'Ayo Gayo Maya Mohyo, Ayena Gayena Ko Ho, Ko Ho'.
So, the distance and few interaction has confused her, the poor guy back home has bought a Rudraksha Ko Malaa and he is only Japping her name, because there is something for him to look upto, because his GirlFriend is in USA, big achievement and he wants to be part of it. His family is nice and wants their long tim acquaintance to be converted to next phase which is natural.
But, your friend, when talks sometimes with the BF over the phone (telephone cards are cheap but it is pain to call with so many numbers) seems like 'the Guyes are from MARS and the Girls are from Venice". The idea has changed, can't talk to him that much, he seems to be whiner, she seems to be very energetic, he seems to be very narrow minded, she is very open minded. She is scared of Sasu, Sasura, Ghar, for her danger is lying ahead, not ready to commit, get's cold feet and now asks your help....
So, what I say? My final words...
Guy and his family seems sincere, and your friend also seem sincere (even your thoughts of helping your friend seems sincere), so how can I give you guys real good advice?
My thought is your friend really did not love the guy, she only had infatuation about the guy when she was 16 years of age. Now, she is not sure. So, the right thing to do is not to rush to marriage, but, not to break the relationship also.
Loosing a guy who waited for her 5 years and still loves her, and a family who is willing to bring the girl home which was liked by their son and not selected by parents (how many family in Nepal are that open minded?) might be a good chance lost, and you might repent for whole life.
So, she needs to talk to the guy and explain to him in exact words what she is thinking and analyse herself and see what the guy thinks. If he really loved her then he will wait without blinking his eyes. And she will find out shortly whether she really love him or not?
Waiting another 5 years for finding that the guy/gal is really love each other is worth waiting for. 28 years old is right age to get married for girls anyway.
"Sabur Ko Phal Meetho Huncha"
Good luck, I sincerely hope your friend will convince her Boy Friend to Slow Down!!!!
- iti
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