| Sajha.com Archives | |
| Username | Post |
| bhandafod | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 07:19 AM
http://www.sebsonline.org/forum/forum_view.aspx?F=2&T=24386 Updated by Admin |
| isolated freak | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 08:12 AM
hey bhagwaan! this is what happens when you trust girls..i am sad that a bright, young nepali student was hurt to an extent that he wants to start his life from the scratch (i hope he sees it as a new beginning, not the end). i just hope he doesn't turn into an isolated person like me. dashain le naya umanga lyaos sabai jana who are going through terroble times. a freak |
| SITARA | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 08:37 AM
Bhandafod ji Dilip should be NOT be prosecuted for his upbringing and his education. Although, there is a price to pay for names, banners, standards and flags that keep flashing and fluttering from time to time to indicate a glorious past!!!! However, being female, I denounce him for blaming it all on the cursed apple and the original eve that "suckered" him into the wicked serpent's game. Well, the original sin has sort of served to coerce Dilip into a self-imposed exile from Harvardian Eden. Perhaps, Dilip is going through some depression. We should be sympathetic to that and not denounce neither Adam or nor Eve. It is a known fact that the serpent on that tree had a mind of its own and did not do the bidding of his maker! Sincerely; NOT A Watcher, as I was not there!!! But I am reading with my eyes wide shut! :) |
| Jame Bonds | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 08:53 AM
This serves as a wake up call to all you nice people out there. This is KALIYUG, the more nice you are, the more likely you are of getting SCREWED big time. What a world we live in. |
| ashu | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 09:12 AM
I was disappointed to read Dilip's statement -- assuming that the REAL Dilip wrote it. He may well be telling the truth, and I don't doubt him. But his truth matters little for his own crushed self now. To put it bluntly: If this kind of perceptible moral high-handedness is any indication of how he deals with the REAL imperfect world out there (in and out of Harvard), then I shudder to think what his statement to Harvard -- on the basis of which, it's fair to assume, Harvard made its ruling against him -- must have read/sounded like. [I mean, let's face it, it's rare for Harvard NOT to believe its own alumnus unless the alumnus, so sure of his moral superiority, did a relatively poor job presenting his case.] On a minor note, I fully agree with Sitara. On a practical note, admissions offices, let us NOT forget, are dominantly staffed by women in very influential/top positions -- and knowing who you are addressing your statement to, and, then, honestly tailoring your narrative to that audience can be a useful lesson. oohi ashu ktm,nepal |
| Arnico | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 10:19 AM
Before everyone jumps in to beat up Dilip, can we first acknowledge that the above letter, copied and pasted from the SEBS bulletin board, most likely without Dilip's permission, does not contain enough information for readers here to draw conclusions? it should not have been dragged to kurakani, but as it has, I cannot sit back and just watch it spin out of control. There was a lot of discussion on Dilip's issues on the SEBS board long ago (hence the vagueness of Dilip's posting on the SEBS board, addressed to people familiar with the case), but not many people here know what went on. I don't know enough to speak with authority on all details, but I do know that the triggering factor for Dilip's suffering was his reporting of a major cheating case (he was an admissions interviewer and therefore obligated to report irregularities to Harvard), resulting in the revoking of Harvard admission to the son of some influential people in Nepal. In revenge, Dilip, and worse, his family have been put through much suffering (death threats, transfer of his govt employee brother to Maoist areaas, etc.). In the last two (?) years Dilip has spent much of his energy fighting harrassment accusations at Harvard by a female acquintance of the person whose admission was revoked. I do not know and do not wish to probe into more details of the harrassment accusation, nor do I know or wish to publicly discuss the nature of Dilip's relationships with the people involved. What I do know is that I have over the past two years seen Dilip going through more suffering than I could ever wish upon anyone else! Isolated freak, Sitara, and Ashu: there is much more to the story than trusting or blaming a woman, and there is also much more to it than the phrasing of a written statement by a male alum defending against the accusations by a female student. Dilip's drastic renunciation of ties to two reputable schools is NOT an over-reaction but a last resort action reflecting his deep sense of betrayal by these institutions. Meanwhile, please keep in mind also that people whom Dilip has been fighting in recent years have undoubtedly also gone through a very difficult time, and they too deserve to be treated with some respect by kurakani members who do not know enough about the situation to make a judgement (note that even Dilip does not drag their names into public!). If Dilip, or anyone else directly involved with the case, wanted this to be openly discussed on this bulletin board, they would have written here long ago. Bhandafor: with regards to the discussion on this thread, you have erred the most. Dilip's message was on the SEBS bulletin board, addressed to current and past Buddhanilkantha members. As a public website it is open for all to see. You might even post a link to it. But copying and pasting one letter out of context??? Think about it! Unless people directly involved with the case wish to discuss it here, let's allow this thread to come to an end. If anyone wants to discuss more general issues of gender communication etc, please start a new thread. |
| orion | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 10:20 AM
Having known Dilip in a previous life and seen his strength of integrity and character, I am suprised by this. I donot have enough information to be judgemental on this case, but I wish Dilip all the best. Dilip's is a story of a person from a humble background in rural Nepal making it to the pinacle of the academia based on merit,merit and merit alone. It would be truly tragic to see the talents of such a person go to waste. Peace on earth. |
| SITARA | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 10:32 AM
Arnico ji, On the contrary,you have sadly failed to understand my viewpoint. I have asked that everyone be sympathetic to both Adam and Eve; considering than Dilip may be going through a massive depression given that he has self-imposed an exile. :( |
| ruck | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 10:36 AM
If you guys want the sajha people to support dilip , I think you should provide them with enough information to make a judgement. All the above looks incomplete... we don't get a clue of what you're talking about and all that has happened or is happening with dilip. |
| bhandafod | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 10:48 AM
I realize that a simple link was enough and apologize for any inconvenience. If admin of this site can please replace with the link http://www.sebsonline.org/forum/forum_view.aspx?F=2&T=24386 I would appreciate it |
| Koko | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 11:01 AM
Dilip is an honorable man. I don't know the details of the situation. But I have known Dilip to be a true gentleman. Whatever it is that he is going through, i hope it gets resolved peacefully. Good luck Dilip.... |
| SimpleGal | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 12:33 PM
I fully agree with Arnicoji. Although I do not know Dilipji in person, have heard wonderfully great things about him via my Harvard acquaintances from the past and my friends from budhanilkantha school, including some of the faculty at the school. I think people should calm down and not jump hurriedly to drastic conclusions about Yugas and Biblical references. That is what most of us suffer from---quick generalizations that give leeway to expressions of prejudice. Agree with Sitara: he may be going through some depression, during which he needs support. I add: rather than the outrage expressed here (by some). I wish him luck. |
| SITARA | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 12:42 PM
Simple Gal ji We maybe speaking of the same acquaintances...hehe!!! Its a small world after all!!! ;) |
| SimpleGal | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 12:50 PM
Sitara, Not maybe, but we are :) So, we're on the same page, huh? ;) Hmmmm..... In peace. |
| Arnico | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 12:51 PM
San and Bhandafor, thanks for updating and putting the link instead. Usually I am for pasting whole articles, rather than bombarding us with links, but when it comes to material that was not meant for us here the link is better. Sitara: okay... I should read more slowly. |
| paramendra | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 01:23 PM
Forum: SEBS Issues: I renounce my Budhanilkantha and Harvard degrees Re: I renounce my Budhanilkantha and Harvard degrees Paramendra Kumar Bhagat 10/9/2002 12:12:39 PM EST To: Dilip 308B From: Paramendra 266B Dilip, we met at the Nepali convention this summer. That was the first I learned of this "mess." You told me the outline, I still don't know the details. And I am not going to "judge" based on the little I know. I don't intend to belittle the intense emotional cost to you. But this is a legal/practical matter. It has to be treated accordingly. I don't know the other actors in the plot. I just know you. From the little I know, my advice: (1) You need to separate the faceless institutions from yourself. BNKS and Harvard might be great names, but they are institutions. They never are, never will be "mothers." People go there to make careers, not to spread the love. (2) Social injustice and stuff of that sort are another debate, perhaps even a legitimate struggle. But this is one specific issue. You need to localize this. (3) Are you voluntarily renouncing your degree from Harvard? If so, that would be the utmost unwise thing to do. Nobody really cares. A week down the line, another big news will erupt, and you will likely be forgotten. Your Harvard degree is the result of your four years of hard, academic work. It is not really a prize for your moral character, or lack thereof. (4) What are you going to do without a college degree? Who exactly are you trying to hurt with your decision? The market recognized your degree, without that what will you do? (5) Whatever the case is that you say you lost, do you have the option to appeal it? If not, would you rather not move on? It is okay to feel wronged, it is okay to accuse both BNKS and Harvard of injustice. But what you are doing is something else: you are hurting yourself. I guess, I am hoping you don't "voluntarily" make an unwise decision now that you will regret forever. I mean, those who you claim would like to hurt you. They are the only ones who you will make happy with your decision. Feel free to e-mail. (They are talking about this at Sajha.com ... that is how I learned about it.) |
| Koko | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 01:36 PM
Paramendra, Can the man have some privacy here ? It would be great if you could shut up for now and let him take care of his problems. I am sure knowing him he would not want to wash his dirty laundry(we do not need to take the dirty laundry out of the basket again) in public. thanks |
| ruck | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 01:36 PM
I agree with Paramendra Ji here. Dilip ji whoever you are and wherever you are, I think you're being emotionally carried away by renouncing your degrees. This will only do more harm than good to you in the future, carry on with life, start fresh, I know it's tough but mind you it's not impossible.... You might want a change of place and a bunch of new friends, start on a clean slate Dilip. Life is all about struggling and not letting others rule your emotions. Again I do not know you and have no clue about all the traumatic phase of life you've been through but think about it.. sufferings and bad expereinces makes us strong and more challenging. All the best! Might be God's Testing You, He Likes to do that sometimes... don't give up Ruck |
| lonely | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 02:13 PM
Dear all.. As many of you still donot know Dilip in detail and his case donot jump into conclusions.. Yes soem poeple tried to make his life hell, and are even trying now...till the last minute. But its sad to see what dilip has been forced to do, he probably didnot have nay options either. I wish he starts a new life forgetting the past. I have known known Dilip for past 17- 18 years or so. And never expected this to happen to him, I wish this would not happen to my worst enemy in life , forget about anyone else. Lets help him anyway we can. |
| SIWALIK | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 02:28 PM
I have no idea about the case. However, if the party feels wronged by the decision, isn't there an option to appeal somewhere? Is it really the end of the matter? Instead of giving in, maybe it is time to fight for the right and Dilip's friends who believe in his cause might be able to put up a legal fight! |
| Katmandude | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 04:44 PM
What happened to him?? What was the problem??? |
| bhedo | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 05:27 PM
I didn't understand the case fully. Did someone accuse him of sexual harrassment? Who did he fall in love with? Is the girl who charged him of harrassment the same person who he fell in love with? What's going on? Clear things up, please. Not everyone here is a Budanilkantha ko student, you know. |
| Parijat phul | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 06:26 PM
I am still spellbound to hear about Dilip. I too have known him since the high school days and later here in US. I too vouch for Dilip's integrity and coming from a female friend I hope it suffices to say that whatever these allegations about the sexual harrassement stories need further pondering than what has been said so far. This is the first time I hear about Dilip for the first time in quite a while. So I am not uptodate with the story. But the SEBS links gives some inkling to what might have happened. And from what little has come out, I am extremely saddened for Dilip and what his family must have gone through. I would hate to see a guy like Dilip's talent go to waste. I agree with "SIWALIK" that there must be some legal avenues we could take as a group to help somebody in crisis like this to denounce degrees from two reputable schools. First of all, can someone who has been following this whole story from the beginning explain clearly what has happened. The person should not name names specifically because "WE MUST RESPECT PRIVACIES OF PEOPLE." Since this issue has already been flashed in the Sajha forum, for some good to come out of it, let's try to see what can be done to help Dilip's case. Thanks. |
| SITARA | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 07:20 PM
In protest of the above, The Mental Health and and Language Dept have called a press conference issuing a warning to all Sajhaites!!!! WARNING TO ALL GOSSIPERS AND GOSSIP MONGERS!!!! From the DEPT of MENTAL HEALTH and LANGUAGE! An Anatomy of a GOSSIP 1. Doggedly searches/compiles info on unsuspecting victims. 2. Obsessively compelled to gather "tidbits" for the purpose of uplifting self esteem. 3.Lack of respect for other people's privacy. 4.Breach of trust and transference of information with the purpose of inflicting harm. 5.Exposure of the victim out of pure malice and/or paranoia and/or insecurity! 6.Can be desperate in their search for their fetishisque gratification!!! BEWARE: they may also turn out to be pathological liars who believe their own lies!!!!! Language Dept: There once was a person from Cyber, Who was psychologically quite Hyper, s/he went out to rake some unjuicy (sour) grape to press and churn out bitter cider!!!!!!!!!! And oh Simple Gal: On Second thoughts, I don't think we hang around the same people! So, I regret to say we don't know the same people! Rest in Peaces !!! :) |
| ashu | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 09:53 PM
Arnico, Let me reiterate that without knowing the complete story, I am sympathetic to Dilip. That said, let me address a larger issue here. One cannot post such a statement in a PUBLICLY accessible forum (sebsonline.org) and then NOT expect good and bad reactions from known and unknown people at large. Come on!! Just because the statement is there, more people are going to be curious for both the right and the wrong reasons, no one can stop that. This is the reality. Some people will copy and paste that statement in other forums. Others, without feeling the need to know the complete story, will make their own judgement based primarily on that statement, and so on and on. Once you open the Pandora's box by way of such a statement, then, let's face it, it's a lost cause. This is why, if one cares really about one's privacy and private battles, then one should STAY AWAY from posting statements on PUBLIC bulletin boards. This is the kind of common sense that you don't have to go to Harvard to learn. I read Dilip's statement, and I was struck by: a) its insistently, nagging moral tone. b) its "no matter what, I am the injured party and I hate these guys" sort of helplessness. b) its apparent failure to create a BROADER and WIDER coalition of supporters drawn from Harvard offices, Harvard faculty, and even non-Budanilkantha Nepali friends who have attended Harvard. [I mean, having your high school buddies as supporters is nice, but that does NOT cut in areas which requires broader, neutral and even professional interventions.] That is why, I shuddered to think just what his statement to Harvard must have read like. And, you know America: If you cannot convince the jury, so to speak, you lose your case NO MATTER how right you were/are. If Dlip is is to renounce anything, he should renounce -- NOT his high school and Harvard --- but his own lack of "managing skills" that could have pushed his version of truth to the fore where it really mattered -- at Harvard. You now, having the truth on your side is a great thing. But good is that truth if it leads NOT to enlightenment and hope but to disillusionment and despair? oohi ashu ktm,nepal |
| ashu | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 09:55 PM
The lat para should be: You now, having the truth on your side is a great thing. But WHAT good is that truth if it leads NOT to enlightenment and hope but to disillusionment and despair? |