| MmmBop |
Posted
on 13-Oct-02 09:35 PM
It has happened before, and every time it happens I feel this time I felt more than the last time.
Lovestruck, that's what I am talking about. I saw this girl at a friends home and then again in a Pre-Dashain Party a week ago. I talked to her but in the presence of our friends. I couldn't move forward.
I then couldn't sleep for another few nights, couldn't concentrate on my studies and thought of ways
to meet her again. She is here with her family and her brothers/cousins are my friends. That made the
matter worse, to ask her out; well I am not yet sure if it is love so I couldn't even ask her brother
'Can I take your sister out? I just wanna make sure if I love her or not.'
But I am not writing this to just tell you what happened to me few days back. I want to analyze this
small word called 'Love' or rather infatuation at this stage.
After two sleepless nights, I started recovering from it. I was back to my college routines and away from
Nepali contacts. I started analyzing why I was so deeply troubled? Why? Is it just because of that girl? My ex girlfriend was far prettier than this one, I didn't have that much of want for my ex. What was it?
Love?
One conclusion I have drawn is Love comes up with lots of package. My meeting with the girl coincided with me getting close to my 'fantasy' Nepal life. Over here in US, I am like a workhorse with a routined life..study, study, study. Nepal, I really had fun. And getting back that life a week ago (in the party) was really 'awesome.' Me seeing the girl was the biggest part of my happiness but it was iced with me getting back to my culture.
Since I couldn't get over my 'love', I thought I should test if my theory was right. I thus called all my Nepali friends for a gathering 3 days ago. We had a hell of a time. No I didn't call that girl.
Next day, I also realized that now I was ready for my normal life. The recurring thoughts about the girl were coming in much lesser frequencies, none at all at times.
I think I did prove my point, when we love somebody..its more than what we are thinking. Why does love grows ten fold when you're away from somebody? My friend wouldn't care much about his girlfriend when they were together, now that she is married to somebody..he prays he could relive the moments. The love here, is now mixed with a sense of loosing something. May be the latter part is also love, but atleast
I didn't know that.
Love is mixed with circumstances, necessities. The point I want to make is its not just loving a person, that a love is all about. Love is
more than the person you love, Love is...well its just too big to define.
Ever thought when you remember your girlfriend/boyfriend or even your parents, day in and day out; and when you finally meet them..you're happy
but sometimes are confused why u were so much crazy about it (the realization comes a bit later..sometimes never)? That's coz you are not
only loving your gf/bf or your parents but the moments that you had enjoyed, the things you have missed too. Love is a package, a pandora
box and its not just the person you love.
Did I confuse you enough? Well my friend I am in love, that's why.
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