| Username |
Post |
| ashu |
Posted
on 30-Oct-02 09:30 PM
What follows comes from a forwarded email.
Though it's great to talk about what we can give, at times, it's a lot of fun to see
what the receivers, in different contexts, say about what they are given.
Have fun.
oohi
ashu
ktm,nepal
***************************
Don't give
Two elderly people in a retirement home are discussing the food they
are served in this Woody Allen joke. One says, "They feed us such awful,
tasteless food." The other agrees, and adds, "And such small
portions."
My extended family and clan members are exactly like that. In the
days before weddings were catered, they used to conduct vigorous
post-mortems of the food served. A typical post-reception dinner conversation
would be as follows:
Mum: "The meat dish, it was too salty and hot. And no meat chunks,
just fat and gristle. Why bother inviting guests when you fear feeding
them? And don't even get me started on the vegetables ? And did you notice
that the so-called 'pulau' was nothing but plain rice colored with
turmeric? Terrible, just terrible. Some people have no shame."
Dad: "Even so, I noticed you took three helpings. But I must say the
'laal mohan' was quite stale?"
Mum (interrupting): "But its staleness didn't prevent you from
devouring four of them. Don't ask me for Eno in the middle of the night..."
Returning to Nepal after travels, I used to come home laden with
gifts.
Unfortunately, no one appreciated the presents. Younger brothers
tossed out the t-shirts because they were made in China. (If I wanted a
made in China t-shirt, I could buy it in Asan, I expected something else from
[Amrika].")
My aunts were equally rude about the saris, which were cotton.
Expressions such as "French chiffon", "Japanese jaargette" and
"Banarasi silk" were tossed like poisoned arrows at me. Even my beloved
grandmother, who I hope has finally found peace and happiness, whose
favorite grandchild I was, didn't spare me. "You know no one in our
family ever wears anything but silk. And you come here with cheap
cotton dhoti for your aunts. And what kind of colour is this for me? Red! Am
I a young, blushing bride or what? Don't you know by now that I wear
nothing but pure white silk saris?"
A blossoming, promising romance with a wealthy lass was instantly
aborted when I proudly presented her with not one but six pairs of
ear-rings (and matching necklaces), made of exotic, exquisite sea
shells, that I had bought in a provincial Thai town. The guidebook
informed me that buying such local craftwork sustained local artisans
and their indigenous occupation. By presenting this gift, I was
killing two birds with one stone?appeasing both my social consciousness and
the social climber in me. Alas, it only killed the romance.
I must confess that I myself have been guilty of looking the gift
horse in the mouth. At a precocious six, we had been visiting one crumbling
relative after another for Dasain tika. When one uncle gave me a suka
coin I was insulted and threw it away. My father slapped me and my
mother asked an older relative to take me home immediately. But the
others of my age thought it was cool.
Some years later, older and wiser I was at a classmate's birthday.
This was in an era when perhaps one boy out of a thousand actually
celebrated a full-scale, western-style birthday with candles on a cake. I had
finally pried money out of my father to buy a birthday gift, which
was like extracting a healthy tooth without anaesthesia: he firmly
believed that receiving is better than giving and that such new-fangled,
foreign practices as celebrating a birthday would soon undermine our pure
culture. My gift was a box of Monaco biscuits wrapped in glossy green
paper and a red ribbon stolen from my sister. However, all that
stylish effort came to naught. The birthday cake was so small, and my slice
was so tiny that I decided not to give the present.
Soon after an American official announced earlier this year that
Nepal would receive $20 million to battle our home-grown insurgents, I
overheard a native deconstructionist sniff: "What! Just 20 million?
From the richest nation to the poorest, only 20 million? Why don't they
just give us peanuts?"
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| Yeti |
Posted
on 30-Oct-02 10:16 PM
Very nice. reflects the reality in our society. Well, it not only happens in our Nepali Society but everywhere too. I liked that "MADE IN CHINA". Thats what peoples first check when you present the gift. So, I do acknowledge first "Hey, its made in China, would you kindly accept it? K garne Made in XYZ paunai chhadi sakyo. Sabko bhag pani puryaunai paryo...." . Well, or else you trim the MADE IN CHINA sticker, just let it be blank. Khai kaha baneko ta thaha bhayena. K garne jasta lai tyastai garnu parena ta ni. Those who want to look first to Made in China stuff rather than on what is it, what else they deserve, you just remove that problematic part.
Best way I do is go Nepal blank. Let everyone get surprised, that I brought nothing for them. Khali chinese matrai pauchha, tyo ta yahi asan ma paihalcha ni. It works everywhere.
Surprising thing to me was the begger, who once rejected my gift to him "50paisa". He was demanding "peanuts" indeed. He left our home, and said "tapai lai mero sarap lagos .. sarapdai gayo ba mula bhikhari le pani". Tara tyo bikhari ta nepal sarkar le 20million nai bhe pani lyau bhane jasti garera aula bhanya ta ayena. Gift ko sansar pani gajab chha ba. Tyasko satta kehi gift lyaidiu ki bhanyo bhane feri dhad sekne garera oho LV ko bag dekhi Tiffany ko ring, Miki* ko Pearl ko samma pani bhanna chhaddainan ni hou. Jaso gare pani sukh chhaina. Tyasaile khali hath jagannath, bhannu nai ramro hola ki, kaso Ashutosh ji. Yaar tapai ta, lekh le solution nadiyera problem matra tersyayera rakhi dinu bho. Solution pani chahi yo ni.
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| M.P. |
Posted
on 30-Oct-02 11:51 PM
Ashu,
Thanks for posting the article here. I am sure such events happen in all of ours lives at one point or the other. I have had very similar experiences in the past. Balla balla guff sundine maanchhe paaiyo jasto chha, bhannai paryo.
When I was about to leave for Japan for a short trip a few years ago, I was bombarded with too many suggestions, one of which was buying a Japanese Seiko 5. With my limited budget, following everyone's suggestions was not feasible. But I was determined to buy a Japanese ghadi. That is what Japan was known for in those days. Kinna pani kine. Parna pani tannai paryaa thyo. When I went back, even goru-bechyaa-naatedaar-haru came to visit me. "Kasto raichha Japan?", "Tetai bhaagya bhaye ni hunthyo ni!", "Kattiko lyaaiyo ta dollar?" There were simply too many questions to handle. Saathi haru ko ta k kuraa. Eutaa le haatko ghadi dekhnaa bittikai herchhu bhanyo. The next moment became one of the most memorable moment in my life. Ignorant bastard I am. I did not see a small sticker at the back of the dial that said--"Made in China." "Thukka, Japan gayera Khaasaa ko ghadi lyaayish? Yo ta yehaa 300 maa aauthyo." Maile k bhanne? Man manai aafai laai saraape, raato hudai sticker nikaale!
Kids are most demanding. Money was one of the first things my bhaanjaa understood. He recognized by colors. Once he was at my place. After putting tikaa, I gave him a rupee note. Maanne hoina. "Tesko ta kehi pani aaudaina" re! Aafu 5 paisaa jaani peepal gedi khaayera hurkyaa maanchhe, rish pani uthyo. Tara k garne, bhaanjaa jasto naata! "Raato paisaa chaainchha" bhanne. My sister had a bundle of one rupee notes colored in pink [teti belaa paate masi aauthyo, tesle garyaa!]. Sadhai 5 rupyaa ko note kasari puryaauna sakinchha?
Aafu feri sojho maanchhe pariyo, jataa tatai victim bhayinchha :)
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| Shiva Shiva!! |
Posted
on 31-Oct-02 11:25 AM
Ashu,
It's Real time Story. I loved it.
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| Biruwa |
Posted
on 31-Oct-02 12:05 PM
excellent writing, Ashu!!
Tihar is near, infact almost upon us. In tihar too, kids from the block come saying deusire and bhaile. That is fine and good culture too. But when they demand Rs. 100 or more (infact upto Rs. 1000) then that is ridiculous!
Also some of the folks doing the Deusire round are more suitable to be contract killers and appear to be almost threatening when their demand is not met. Even some of the little kids are spoilt and won't take a ten or a twenty rupee note. They don't understand the significance of the festival and are only after the money!
Though Tihar and the accompanying deusi and bhaile are part of our culture, the behaviour of the participants have done disservice to our culture!
:)
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| Logical Sense |
Posted
on 31-Oct-02 01:52 PM
Ashuji awesome! Liked everything and as said earlier by others nowadays I have adopted a philosophy of going 'phunga' and handing over money to all (dama sahile) as gifts and everybody is happy (relative term). It makes sense and money is well utilized. Tell you the truth, better for me (no headaches before leaving for Nepal), no kitch kitch in US, no kitch kitch at the airport and no kitch kitch at Nepal. Peacai Peace.
On the side note (did not want to distract the thread but could not resist on chuckling on M.P.):
Is our now famous M.P. could be Hahoo Gurujyu?
HG asked to be excused for few months going UntarDhyan and promised to comeback as a changed personality especially in his writing skill.
M.P. comes into play after about a month of HG's going UnterDhyan?
Hunh, hunh? Ekdin Bomb Blast garya jastai announce garne ho ki kya ho? Kata kata writing style pani milcha?
Ke Bhannu Huncha Banki Famous Sajhaites Harul Le? M.P. Ko Parda Faas Garen Ki Kya Ho Maile?
- iti
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| ashu |
Posted
on 31-Oct-02 06:28 PM
Hi guys,
Let me make one thing clear: I did NOT write the piece of humor that appears
above, though I wish I had written it myself.
I don't even know who wrote it.
It was forwarded to me by a friend, and I posted it here for your entertainment.
To paraphrase Eminem: Will the real writer please stand up, please stand up [if you are reading this on sajha?]
oohi
ashu
ktm,nepal
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| Paschim |
Posted
on 31-Oct-02 08:08 PM
LS-ji, give poor MP-ji some peace yaar. Why can't he be the original MP -- a distinctive personality in his own right? MP has already gone through quite an ordeal being compared to Paschim, Sardar-ji, and now Hahooguru!
But, I'll tell you, I'm quite sure our thuldai, Hahooguru, is pretty much BACK on Sajha. Yes, he's a changed man, but he can't hide from me! He has been unspotted so far by the rest, but I think I know who he is. He arrived with a very "geometric" identity; has been keeping a low profile. In due time, I hope he will reveal himself. Let me not be a villain for now :)
And, the piece that appears above, "Don't Give" was written by Rajendra Khadka. It appeared in the latest issue of the Nepali Times.
http://www.nepalnews.com.np/ntimes/issue116/opinion.htm
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| ashu |
Posted
on 31-Oct-02 08:59 PM
Thanks Paschim for the link.
I should have guessed: Who else but Rajendra Khadka could have written that? He's one smart writer. One of his edited books can be viewd at:
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1885211147/qid%3D1036119545/sr%3D11-1/ref%3Dsr%5F11%5F1/104-2542616-9354347
That said, like Paschim, I too sense that Hahoo Guru is back in a different,
non-MP avatar. Then again, Hahoo Guru is a known follower of that "brand management" book that he said he bought in Singapore airport.
oohi
ashu
ktm,nepal
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| Logical Sense |
Posted
on 01-Nov-02 08:24 PM
Mane Ba Paschimji Ra Ashuji, M.P. Ta Pakkai Hoina.
Usobhe Ko Hola?
Curious, curious?
Only recent characters I could think are:
Krishna - 10/28/2002
Poonte - 9/23/2002
iXY - 10/12/2002
SMR - 9/16/2002
Protean - 10/21/2002
These are suspected aliens in my radar screen right now with their Avataran dates in Sajhapur who could be very well be hibernating gurujyu.
Paschimji Ra Ashu jyu Malai Khusukka Bhannusna Ma Kasailai Pani Bhandina Ke. Mero Logic Le Pani Bhyayena.
Mero Ta Yeutai Dhun Cha Guruji Ko DARSHAN!
He Gurudev, Aba Hami Manas Le Tapain Ko Darshan Paun, Afai Abataran Hunu Paryo!!!
- iti
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| M.P. |
Posted
on 02-Nov-02 12:32 AM
Detective Logical Sense,
hajur ko calculator maatra museum maa kinyaa holaa bhanyaa ta sabthok museum baatai choreko jasto chha.
M.P. bhumigat chha kyaa! "Jiudo yaa mareko taauko lyaaune laai 50000$" bhanera sarkaar le ghosadaa gareni M.P. koho pattaa laagdaina!
Ani Paschim, malaai sardaarji sanga compare garne kun gadhaa ho? Tyo Dr Fakir? Tellai ta maile yehaa baata khedaai saken...
J hosh, Ashu ko thread bigaarnai paryo. Tehi bhayera eutaa kabita:
[ps: Paschim, did we have a fierce kabita battle somewhere? ]
raajnity maa laagyaa pani dherai bhayo kyare
mayaa pirti bhanne kuro birsiyechha aile
ghara samma pugnalaai phursat hunna kaile
kaaryekartaa side haandai basnu paryo maile
saanai chhadaa bana jaadaa gaainthyo yestaa gita
budho bhaiyo daari phulyo ramau ma ko sita?
raajnity kadaa laagne vodkaa bhandaa beshi
ek sabda bhani deuna maayaa haasi haasi
paile paile 'maiyaa' bhanthe aajkaal bhanchan 'maayaa'
maile pani 'pirti'laathe poila gayin maiyaa
dudhe chhoro ruwaaudai uni jaadaa kheri
chhati piti runu paryo malai pheri pheri.
Moral: Raajnity gardai nagara maayaa!!!
Aba Paschim ko jawaani ko kabitaa [haami laaj namaanou; chorekaa kabitaa bhandiu]:
monsoon ma urlera sharad ma sukeni marsyangdi tyehi ho
dil ta sumpiyau, siundo chha khali, samjhauta apuro
timi nai ta bhanthyau, nabana kamjor, naroka rahara
tyagnuchha dherai, kathin chha yatra, hindnuchha saharsha
thikai chha priya, bhandiye parkha, rahanchha pratichhya
samarpan ho jiwan, prapti ma ullas, nabhaye samjhana
moral: somethings in life are just worth the wait.
Detective saap kehi bhannu chha ki???
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| Logical Sense |
Posted
on 04-Nov-02 12:11 PM
Detective Upadhi Diyeko Ma Dhanyabad, Tyo Pani Museum Bata Aeko Bhanne Ho Ki? 'Columbus' Hernu Hunthyo? He looked from museum but he solved the cases so eloquently (few of the early episodes were directed by Spielberg too).
Teseari Provoke Garera Logical Sense Risaudaina M.P.ji. Logical Sense Ali Bhinnai Cha. Tapainle Bhanera Mero Sabthok Museum Bata Aune Haina, Maile Bhanera Tapai Guruji Hune Haina. Kauwa Karaundai Garcha Pina Sukdai Garcha.
M.P.ji ko contribution Sajhama Yeti Dherai Ra Ramro Cha Unhalai Ma Jasto 'Tipaure' (occassional contributor) Le critic Garne Himmat Pani Aunu 'Shiva Shiva'.... Peace M.P.ji.
Mata Hamro Guruji Ko Khoji Garera Matrai Hindeko. Yesso Aru Sajhaites Harule Thaha Paunubhako Cha Ki Bhanera.
HGjyu must be laughing from his hibernating place!!!!!
- iti
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