| Username |
Post |
| priyanka |
Posted
on 03-Nov-02 11:28 PM
Hi friends,
I am a very religious and cultural Nepali girl. What do you think If I get married in US ? How do I look and find a man who is suitable for me. Or if I go to Nepal and get married, how can I bring "husband" to this country? BTW I am a working girl with green card.
Please give me some advice and suggestion.
PLEASE
|
| Junkie |
Posted
on 03-Nov-02 11:46 PM
Legal issues tah thaha chaina priyanka. But arranged marraige is not so dead yet! Afterall, many nepalese were married thru a lamee and they are indeed stable. Aba Happily or not tyo tah bihee garnay lai sodhnu parchha.
Good Luck to you! Happy Hunting
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| slipknot |
Posted
on 04-Nov-02 01:30 AM
"...find a man who is suitable for me..."
try reverse psychology. tell the man he sucks, he's impotent in every meaning of life.. tell him he doesn't know jack about settling down to a life full of compromises... tell him you'd rather die a spinster even if there were two of you left, and so on along these lines...
if he reacts with wit emanating from a profound knowledge within, with a sense of purpose in life, with a love of companionship, and with humor unparalled without any frustration of being struck at the very essense of his manhood, then MAY BE you have found your man. find out if he also has curiosity in you without being obsessive, give him his personal space expecting the same... if this advice works for you, do not forget to post here your picture with him. and, when i come back here next here, i hope you'll have also posted the picture of your little darling daugher or son.
best wishes,
slipknot
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| slipknot |
Posted
on 04-Nov-02 01:32 AM
typo:
and, when i come back here next "year", i hope you'll have also posted the picture of your little darling daugher or son.
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| DWI |
Posted
on 04-Nov-02 06:15 AM
Hope, I am not being rude, but did you really wanted answer for your direct question or the 'indirect one?' People here are answering your direct question only, it seems.
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| priyanka |
Posted
on 04-Nov-02 07:18 AM
Junkie and slipknot,
Hajurharu ko sallaaha ko lagi dhanyabad.Tara maile sodheko kura ke ho bhane, keta bhetne nai kasari? bhetepachi garne kura haru ta phari garunla.
DWI, ani indirect question chai tapai le ke dekhnu vo?
Thank you for your kind suggestions.
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| sunita |
Posted
on 04-Nov-02 07:42 AM
Priyanka,
Never go for a guy who will be after you for your Greencard. There might be a whole lot of them comming after you .......BUT NOT FOR YOU. Donot show that you can make things happen..........U should always choose a guy who is gonna be there to help you...be there for you when you need him............after all you want somebody to lean on RIGHT?
In love marriage........at first you will feel wonderful as if you made the best decision.........BUT You can never tell unless you are completely in the ditch...........I suggest you ask your parents to find the right guy. We always think our choice is better than theirs............but No it's not. After all happiness throughout your life is what they want and no matter what we think we are not experienced enough ............(age counts) nor are we smart enough to know what the other stranger is thinking who we fall in love with........and there could be a day when it will be nill-nu- na-okalnu. You will love the guy or you are so much into this society thing ( as you say you are cultured) that you will be so unhappy and still cannot think about leaving him.......
Rest of your life you are unhappily stuck with that person you choose...... SO, I suggest you to choose arrange marriage as it starts with commitment.
MAKE SURE YOU NEVER TELL THE GUY YOU LOVE HIM..............AS THAT WILL BE THE DAY HE WILL STOP LOVING YOU..............Guys want to come after a woman who says not to come after her.............. in other words the moment he knows you are in his love pinjara and you have no other option...........he will start domineering you and start looking for the other best possibilities..................
Take may suggestions as it's the experience ..........that I had.
PLEASE ....PLEASE DO ARRANGE MARRIAGE AS IT STARTS WITH COMMITMENT AND LEADS TO THE HAPPY ENDING!
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| 101702 |
Posted
on 04-Nov-02 07:53 AM
Sounds like you are in a tuff situation there. I guess sunita has given good advice for you. But sounds like that's a broken heart talking. Though I would say, she is right but that doesn't have to be the truth all the time. I mean about guys.
Anyways, if you want to bring a guy here, bring him in student visa. If you marry in Nepal and sponser a guy, it would probably take 5 years for him to get here. Hey, 5 years? and new marriage? Hardly works.
Another option, which I guess I don't have to mention is ask your parents to find a guy from a good family who is currently in US so that you don't have to worry about bringing him here.
Anymore advice, let me know. I have tones.
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| joie de vivre |
Posted
on 04-Nov-02 08:33 AM
yo toady, since when did you become a relationship expert??
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| slipknot |
Posted
on 04-Nov-02 08:39 AM
Keta bhetne kasari re? It's all about pheromones, pheromones, and more pheromones! :)
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| slipknot |
Posted
on 04-Nov-02 08:43 AM
hey piglet (joie): if advices only came from experts, why would you even care about your friends (not all are experts) who often give you a shoulder to lean on to and words to comfort you? :)
peace !
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| dirk |
Posted
on 04-Nov-02 08:50 AM
Put an ad in the matrimonials....and you pick'n'choose from the thousands of response you'd most likely elicit. You'l be the Queen Bee!
Priyanka, you should start off by looking into some of them right here at Sajha.
Happy Hunting!
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| DHUMBASSE (DUMBASS) |
Posted
on 04-Nov-02 09:01 AM
how about me ...I dont' need your greencard, for I already have mine.. Pheri GC ko kura ke garai bho..ali Citizen ship bha bhe ni yeuta kura.. ta pani.
"try reverse psychology. tell the man he sucks, he's impotent in every meaning of life.. tell him he doesn't know jack about settling down to a life full of compromises... tell him you'd rather die a spinster even if there were two of you left, and so on along these lines... " -Simplegal
You can try the above psycology test on me..I won't let you down..That is exactly who i am.
ALi trikal ko bhakti ra chakadi dherai garchu...aafno ishwar bhaneka tehi yeuta Trikal matrai hun..Ani alilali Trikal PRASAD khane bani CHa..
HOW ABOUT MEEE!! re kya ajha lastma..
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| sunita |
Posted
on 04-Nov-02 09:06 AM
DONOT GO FOR ANYONE ON THE NET.................
If you find your husband on the net ...........he will probably substitute you with another one on the net who will talk better than you or chat better than you..........You gotta listen to me..............donot look for unsecured lifepartner.............Marry the one your parents choose............U will be very happy!
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| gorato |
Posted
on 04-Nov-02 09:10 AM
kya ajha lastma...is this your thego?
Uta Ramsundari lai timro lagi yo weekend ma fakayera muskil le raji gare...aba yaha ayera barbad kura gari raheko..? Jhatta uta gharma aanu paryo Dumbe.
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| gbncorg |
Posted
on 04-Nov-02 09:12 AM
Taking it into an account how serious business of getting married in US with GC and without GC, one can not feel of its pain. If you have a GC, you have to be careful to be used by none-GC. If you don't have GC, the none-GC, do not give you damn at all.
My opinion in this dilemma is to look a suitable groom in US, if you want to live in US for a long time. You are better off to look a gentleman, who has a good job, good educationa back-graund, and the most important thing is that who has a GC. Then, you do not need to be worried by anything. You do not have to fill up any afivavit support for your "Hubby". It is just my opinion. Sorry, it means otherwise to you.
Good luck.
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| sunita |
Posted
on 04-Nov-02 09:19 AM
I am with you here............Gbncorg! ask your parents to find a guy who is already here...........It's the matter of patience..........there are a lot of guys who are looking for a cultured nepali gal like you........you just have to wait for the right time..............donot panic coz decision taken in haste will ruin your wholelife..........your parents might be telling you to get married soon and settle down as your friends of your age in Nepal or relatives of your age already have 2-3 kids and so on.................BUT donot look at what others did..............coz they cannot claim to be right.............Give yourself enough time and wait till you meet the right guy or you are arranged with the right guy in usa via your parents. The one who has a good job and GC is the best one to look for.
Remember no hurry.....................! This is the matter which can drastically change your life!
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| DHUMBASSE (DUMBASS) |
Posted
on 04-Nov-02 09:35 AM
ho tyo mero naramro sanga lageko thego nai ho, re kya ajha lastma!!
na bhadakaidnus ho mero sathiharu..ma namele Dumbass bhaye pani man ra kamle ta chuina ni hau !! re kya ajha lastma..
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| gbncorg |
Posted
on 04-Nov-02 09:36 AM
Everyone looks his/her overall security, financially, legally, socially, etc. It is legitimate to do so, but if someone has intention to use someone for the sake of legal status with a GC, then the relationship does not have to be valid. There is always good to break that relationship up. It does not harm anyone for a long time in anyone's life.
My own experiece is that I have not gotten any GC holder similar like me. I always get offer or proposals for getting married from None-GC-s. It's okay, but later on, while I get to know the other party, they (bunch of people) have intension to get advantage from me and my status. So, at this moment. Now, my stratedy is that I always say them about my legal status in US is "Out of Status", if you like me, it's great.
|
| sunita |
Posted
on 04-Nov-02 09:56 AM
Hey! I am not sympathetic to guys at all....................I didnot know that guys feel the same way about getting married to non-GC.
I am a woman...............I have seen guys hurting one person for another........however there are few gals doing the same..........but majority of it are guys.
Again, we are here to help PRIYANKA.................Donot even say the guy that you have GC. Just be what you are............donot try impress him by doingmore than normal. If he comes after you , then you can marry him..................or look for another one..........
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| gbncorg |
Posted
on 04-Nov-02 10:10 AM
You're right Sunita, yes, we are in this thread to give some ideas to Priyanka (whoever, it may be a guy in reality with a fake name of a gal)
The valid suggestion is that what priyanka perceives as a good for her. So, no one can force her to grab any suggestions by anyone.
It is good to share some experiece and it will be much helpful to understand the circumstance of her own indeed.
Anyway, once more.... good luck
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| SITARA |
Posted
on 04-Nov-02 10:23 AM
Priyanka;
How ready are you for marriage and a "life time" of commitment?
Are you mentally, emotionally, physically.....ready for arranged marriage?
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| SITARA |
Posted
on 04-Nov-02 10:24 AM
Slipknot ji
Pheromones hmmmmmmmm ...............!!!!
;)
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| nivu |
Posted
on 04-Nov-02 10:48 AM
Priyanka,
All of these suggestions seem to be worth listening .But in practical everything depends.You 'll have to think several times before deciding, obviously.I share the same case as yours.And we can imagine lots of us must be goin through this dillema . HAving a GC is beneficial but not great.
You know , eversince i became a GC holder i evaluate myself more then anyone.WHen a proposal comes to me, i think a lot......infact too much; i doubt everyone if he is after me or GC. So i guess i've turned into Sankalu ,so nothing is working out so far.
My parents are soo worried about me , obviously.And i feel worried for them, just for them.Finding the right perosn is so tough and the only solution i believe is to compromise..with certain things. if you are lucky enough things can be simple who knows.
So commin to the point , iguess you'll (parents or guardians) have to inform your local friends or relatives ( as we all know).If you are in US right now, You should try your best to attend all nepalese parties goin on around you or meet new people in any nice possible way.If you want to go to nepal and get married then you may have to wait until you become CITIzen of US.Coz it might take time if you are only grrencardholder.To be able to apply for citizenship(you may be familiar) you'll need to spend 5 yrs in US. So before that your husban d can come to US in other visa apart from GC, if luck favours!!
I feel like goin on and on with this....A little relief for me to know lots of ppl are facing such dilemmas.\hope everyhting can be simple.
One more thing, It might not be impossible to find good personfrom net unlike sunita said. THough she was right in couple of things she said.but again aranged marriage nai garchu vanera feri aru chance gumna saklaTHere are still lots of ppl around us who are nice... and selfish less..etc etc.
|
| gbncorg |
Posted
on 04-Nov-02 11:00 AM
Let's have a get-together of all the GC holders singles in somewhere in US and make a selection for the sake of their future...........ha ha ha
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| Junkie |
Posted
on 04-Nov-02 11:12 AM
Haray Priyanka jee,
Tehi tah bhaneko "LAMEE" kya. You know they are the marriage "broker" (not breaker) of out good 'ol Nepal. Pic exchange, jaat-bhat ko kula hunchha (well you may not agree, but it is part of LAMEE-talk), gotra sotra ko kura ......... Aba aru chayee Trikal Gurudev lai sodh-nu parchha bah.
That's how selective the process is. I have faith in it. Trust me, you'd be better off too. And you'd think it's hard to get into a college with scholarship ..... phew ..... one marriage is enuff for me.
Aaye timro GC card chha ho Priyanka, hmm I am again interested in marriage. Sunita thikai bhanchha, re kya aajha endma (learning from dhumbasse) ;)
|
| jira |
Posted
on 04-Nov-02 11:31 AM
"PLEASE DO ARRANGE MARRIAGE AS IT STARTS WITH COMMITMENT AND LEADS TO THE HAPPY ENDING! "
Sunita ji! yo marriage ko happy ending bhanya chai ke ni? alikata bujheena...enlighten me..please.
hasee khusi divorce ta haina hagi! ..just curious
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| sunita |
Posted
on 04-Nov-02 11:46 AM
Means both parties have trust and commitment. It doesnot start with you.........It starts with the family so the bond is much stronger and last longer vanya...........
Arrange marriage dherai succesful deykhya chu so just gave my thoughts on it.
It is not wrong but might not apply in all cases. I bet it's 89 % right though...............
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| jira |
Posted
on 04-Nov-02 11:54 AM
Yea.................
Thanks
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| DHUMBASSE (DUMBASS) |
Posted
on 04-Nov-02 12:05 PM
la Jira le kuro bujya jasto garyo...man nalagi nalagi re kya ajha lastma..
|
| bideshi |
Posted
on 04-Nov-02 12:09 PM
What is love?Do u think just by looking at a person,or just by his appearance u can say u r in love or u fall in love?NOPE!NO WAY! That's the illusion.That's just the infatuation or let's say it' s just the attraction which might(will) fade away!So,what I suggest u is take ur time,love marriage or arrange marriage ,both in itself is not bad!But the person has to be right,right for u to be more specific! So just look around,date some guys u r interested in and just get to know him.If u want to marry a guy ur parents chose for u, try to know him and then only decide.Don't u hurry!Later u might regret and ur marriage might be the unhappy one .U might be miserable.So just look around,look for a compatible soulmate.TAke opinions from ur parents regarding that guy or from any people who know that guy.Then only DECIDE!Usually if u become careful and take ur time in deciding the right guy,u won't go wrong!But who knows ,future is uncertain and it's never possible to know anyone completely(trikal might know though!).They say marriage is a gamble!But if u go right there is a profit but if u go wrong then........ ANyway gambling in marriage is not bad!Hopefully u 'll go right and be happy!All the best!
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| Horizon |
Posted
on 04-Nov-02 12:55 PM
It sounds to me that marriage these days have become just a matter of convenience.
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| sunita |
Posted
on 04-Nov-02 01:28 PM
Ya,It's hard to stay without getting married and It changes the life of a person coz of the other half .............besides our culture is so narrow minded that it's very hard to get out of the marriage once you are on it.
So Priyanka , It's tough decision to make...............gotta think a lot as BIDESI said!
|
| Tranquiller |
Posted
on 04-Nov-02 01:38 PM
Did anybody talk about "Introduced Marriage" that resides between arrange and love marriage?
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| gbncorg |
Posted
on 04-Nov-02 01:53 PM
Jadu Mantra Garne, Tuna Muna Garne, Phakaune ni, Keta le Keti lai, Keta le Keti lai.
Well, it is a tough to make a decision in a short period because you never know who does have what intention. You my loose your confidence later on, if you get used by someone. So. Priyanka, you are better off to know the guy and his nature.
I suggest you how to know a guy. You just tell him about your ex-relationships and see what he does reaction on it. He might have kept another girl in another side, you never know it. Thereby, be careful to make a decision.
Good luck.....
|
| Kajal |
Posted
on 04-Nov-02 03:41 PM
Namaskar to all Sajha's Sajjans!
Just visiting and passing by and couldn't resist. Sure is good to know about the Sajha community.
My version of love:
Love is a phenomenon that is superior to all
Love outlasts lust
Love is the creator
Love is when you can learn to embrace the simple nuances of living together
Love has the audacity to snore yet you've learnt to fall asleep
Love looks like hell and still you both smile
Love says good morning snow-white as you wake up beside him with a masked face
Love is when you get complemented for your sensuous, voluptuous beauty, when you weigh and look like a hippopotamus as you get ready to bear his child
Love is sharing everything 50/50 be it, housework, raising a kid, bringing home the doe...
Love is when he works overtime without hesitation when you can't find a job
Love is accepting the rule of "look but don't touch" once you are committed for life
Love is accepting and cherishing you are stuck with him for life and he is stuck with you for life
Love is respecting the vows you took in all its seriousness
Love is when he is awoken in the middle of the night by the sound of
his wailing baby and says to you "Honey go back to sleep I'll get him this time"
Love is like a tide, its high and its low, it crashes upon you and leaves you wet in tears ,yet after it all there is reconciliation that brings about a calm
Love is carrying out a hot discussion which is fun and interesting in its entirety when he is a republican and you are a democrat
Love conquers all, is not perfect yet strives towards perfection
That is the beauty of love!!!!!
Arranged marriages have worked in our culture forever and yet many have failed, love marriages are the same, so Live together first and find out if you are compatible then make the journey. Making it work is partly up to you and partly upto fate.
Living life to the fullest is what we are here for.
love and marriage I find is like a rainbow,
Its very rare but its out there.
Sometimes it rains sometimes it shines.
Seeing a rainbow is not a guarantee but you will see it at one time or
another, so life is not unfair.
After all the trials and tribulations the experience leaves you breathless even though its rare.
So long my friends, just passing through. See you when I see you. Peace out!
BAAAAAA!
|
| Kajal |
Posted
on 04-Nov-02 03:57 PM
bedeshi, BTW my response was to your question on love.
My version of love and marriage per my experience!
Peace out!
|
| KaLaNkIsThAn |
Posted
on 04-Nov-02 06:40 PM
Ahhh love!!!
Yo prem-nasha maanish ka kamjori hun,
Yeslai dekhaunu aru aghi, tyo bhul ho, tyo bhul ho!!
Sahar ko bhid bhaad ma yekanta ka kura
Afnai thegan chaina, yaha sansaar ka kura?
Ma byasta chu baru sunau, kehi kaam ka kura!!
>>>by gopal yonjan!!
We are here to live a life to the fullest?" ho ra? hoina holaa!
(mero bichar ma hoina hola,
ahile tyaam chaina, bholi lekhumla)//
Maile ta je lekhe ni kabita huna laagyo
Kata bata kunni ma bhitra LaxmiPrashad jaagyo!!
lau
thukka. kabi hune bho ki kya ho, JPK... JP KABI
jharpaat kabi!
essssss
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| Junkie |
Posted
on 04-Nov-02 09:43 PM
Kalankisthan ..... you might wanna discuss this with Mahaguru Trikaljee ..... yo bhut pret ko chakkar hoina "bad rasee" ko bigreko chakkar ho. After a few mantras, you'll be fine. I gyarentee it (commision ko sawaal chha).
|
| goredai |
Posted
on 04-Nov-02 10:56 PM
Remeber this quote
When poverty knocks on the door
Love flies away from the window
If you think you are secured with 10 different credit cards, thats just temporary. So I suggest Priyanka and all those women ready fro marriage to imagine your position finanacially 10 years from the day you get married. That does not mean you marry some drug dealer with secondary school education. Look for someone responsible, financially.
For the guys.
If you think sexual purity is so important in women then I have a quote for you
f..ked women is much better than f..ked up women
|
| Trikal |
Posted
on 05-Nov-02 10:37 AM
Dear
Junkie, Slipknoght, Sunita, 101702, Joie de vivore, Dirk, Dhumbasse, Goreto, gbncorg, Sitara, Nivu, Jira, horizon, Tranquiller, bidesi, Kalankisthan, Kajol,Goredai, etc..
Sabi lai dheri dheri dhanyabad.
I am mentally, emotionally, physically.....ready for arranged marriage. And for life time commitment.
Aba aaune push-magh maa Nepal jane bichar gareki chu. Baru "husband" lai po kasari america lyaune hola? Ki ta kohi america baata gayeko po hunchan ki ? Pheri kuraharu milne hunu paryo, Ke garne Ke garne!!!
Kasto suggestion le help garla jasto lagcha, kripayaa vanidinu huncha ki??
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| priyanka |
Posted
on 05-Nov-02 10:44 AM
Sorry friends,
I am in Trikal guru's house, forgot to log on with my name.
Whatever is written above, that's me Priyanka..
|
| Junkie |
Posted
on 05-Nov-02 10:48 AM
Lau nah nee ..... Narayan Narayan ...... confusion mathi confusion ...... Trikal Gurudev tapai purush-linga key Istri-linga. Aba Tapai nai confused bhaye, hamee tah dodhar ma parchau nee .....
|
| Tranquiller |
Posted
on 05-Nov-02 10:56 AM
Whoever started this thread is also another Dilemma. Where’s her response? The topic is so vague that there's no rock-hard answer. It will always be interweaved within dilemma. However, I suggest you guys to believe in so called "Introduced Marriage", which resides between Love and Arrange marriage. Aba, don't ask me what "Introduced Marriage" is. The terminology is self-explanatory, and these days, numerous people are practicing this kind of marriage in Nepal, especially in ktm valley.
There’s no guarantee that any relationships would last forever, either that is arranged or love.
|
| Junkie |
Posted
on 05-Nov-02 05:11 PM
aaye that Russian Brides-dot-kaam bhaneko Tranquiller jyu ...... been there done that. All they want is credit card. Atleast with Lamee, it's selective and no credit history needed. Just phuture promise!
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| Ryan |
Posted
on 06-Nov-02 01:24 PM
Looks like Sunita is talking her experience
|
| sunita |
Posted
on 06-Nov-02 04:20 PM
Ya.............I am .
That's why I said arrange marriage is a lot better than love marriage.
I have a bitter experience from love marriage..............
It's not only me..................there are many more pple I have seen regretting coz of L...marriage.
|
| Logical Sense |
Posted
on 06-Nov-02 04:47 PM
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a
little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to
understand her at all.
LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot
more willing to die.
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that, is the beginning of a new argument.
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| bhedo |
Posted
on 06-Nov-02 04:54 PM
Hahahaha, it's so obvious. Trikal = Priyanka. Priyanka is a tin-tighre.
|
| gbncorg |
Posted
on 06-Nov-02 04:59 PM
O f course, Logical Sense, I am agree with you. Your observation reminded me a lot of things that had happened with a gal.
Well, Sunita, you can give us some solution to keep a marriage Jasto Mero Ba ra Ama ko Jasto. They are living together for their whole life. I am lucky on this matter, but I, myself, may not be locky like my Abu(Father) sorry, Newari Pare chha !!!!???? I learned Newari with my classmates and other friends while I went to swim in Bagmati River, and Bisnu Mati River in Kathmandu. So, I like Newari woman, they are loyal than anyone else. They have less than point zeto zero zero zero zero zero one percent divorce rate in the world. So, guys, think of getting married to Newari woman. Alright.......
|
| gbncorg |
Posted
on 06-Nov-02 05:01 PM
Priyanka must be fuccked up as Trikal, alright dudes.......
|
| bhedo |
Posted
on 06-Nov-02 05:04 PM
Priyanka is a chick with a d*ck. I have personally met a transexual, with nice voluptuous body, big eyes, and nothing bulging conspicuously between the thighs. I had fallen in love with her(/him), had fantasized about doing things to her(/him), got jealous when (s)he flirted with other men, until (s)he revealed, to my dismay, that (s)he was a born a man.
|
| Junkie |
Posted
on 06-Nov-02 10:13 PM
Dude looks lika ladeee ..... pah-ra-pah ...... "Tin Tigray" rah ..... bhedo, hasayo yaar
gbncorg ...... can't say it only applies to Newari gals or jsut limited to Nepali gals. Japanese are equally faithful to each other. It's an eastern thingy, being able to understand what has not been spoken is what brings about stability in Eastern marriage ....... re kya aajha endah mah!
|
| Ryan |
Posted
on 07-Nov-02 11:37 AM
Sunita,
R u still on that relationship or did you get out of it? I know coz of cultural and family values we got to stick with it even though our heart don't approve such relationships.
|
