| Username |
Post |
| NP |
Posted
on 07-Nov-02 06:14 PM
Note: this is just a hilarious/humor forum. Please don’t take any offense.
Sajhapur Telegraph:
Sajhapur, Dec 7: Some outlawed Maoist rebellions have abducted former interim prime minister Parmendra Bhagat at around 7:30 in the evening on Thursday, and are demanding Rs 10 million in ransom for his release, family and eyewitness said.
Mr. Bhagat is a prominent member of Nepali-Indian Sadbhawana Party (NISP) and a strong advocate of republicans. He has been outstandingly struggling on the issues of gender and ethnic rights for half-Nepali-half-Indian for the past ten years. King Gyanendra of the Himalayan Kingdom had appointed him as the interim Prime Minister after the dismissal of former Prime Minister Deuwa, who was accused of being “inept” and incapable of holding the election on time.
According to villagers, a group of heavily armed and so far unidentified insurgences surrounded him while Mr. Bhagat was returning home in his TATA tractor after the long day of political campaign in neighboring village, Jhingapur. It is believed that BitchPatrol, formidable rival of Mr Bhagat, was the commander of the militant group when Mr. Bhagat got abducted. Mr. Bhagat tried to flee from proscribed perimeter, but due to the speed limit of his sluggish tractor (10 km/h), he was compelled to step off the vehicle hastily and run away, grabbing the end of his ethnic “dhoti” he was wearing. He could not run off very far from the grasp of kidnappers since he accidentally slipped on a mass of buffalo-poop and tumbled down. Then, his hands and legs were tied up with coconut-ropes and face was covered with a black mask when the kidnappers loaded Mr. Bhagat in a bull-cart and sped away to an undisclosed destination.
To be continued....
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| NP |
Posted
on 07-Nov-02 06:16 PM
NISP (Nepali-Indian Sadbhaba Party) expressed its deep concern on the kidnapping of Mr Bhagat by the Maoists and demanded his immediate release, said a statement from the INSP. Meanwhile, Sinking Human Rights Organization of Nepal (SHURON) today issued a press release denouncing the violent activities from the Maoists. The release, undersigned by Harvard grad president Mr. Tiwari, has also urged the Maoists to immediately release of former Interim prime minister. The president of Nepali Congress, Mr Giraija Prasad, also outrageously spoke against this coward act committed by Maoist rebellions. Mr. Bhagat’s abduct might also be a part of the “grand design” that was blueprinted by the King G, said a statement by Koirala.
Whereabouts of Mr Bhagat is not yet known. An immense search has been mounted to trace the kidnappers and their captives throughout Sajhapur and its adjacent districts. Local people of Sajhapur have been panicked because of the abduction that have taken place in the district.
There’s no further information about this kidnap at this moment. We will keep posting any developing news regarding this abduction.
We have been hiring many laid off journalists from my brother’s (M.P.) slumped Sinking Nepal.
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| paramendra |
Posted
on 07-Nov-02 06:35 PM
MP. NP. What's next, OP? PP?
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| SITARA |
Posted
on 07-Nov-02 06:39 PM
Ha ha N.P ji.....
Param ji is kidnapped bhanya hoina? He still has access to the threads, a computer and his hands don't seem to be tied...unless he is typing with his tongue!!!
Funny!
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| Rusty |
Posted
on 07-Nov-02 06:57 PM
He must have been communicating from their undisclosed computer lab.....LOL
Very funny thread.....
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| M.P. |
Posted
on 07-Nov-02 06:58 PM
NP, my brother :),
I saw Mr. Bhagat this afternoon only. Malaai Maobadi bhanthaane ko?? Lau!! Aafnai "brother" le yeso bhandiye pachhi aru le jhan k bhanlaan?
Timlaai mayaa garne "brother",
M.P.
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| NP |
Posted
on 07-Nov-02 08:29 PM
M.P. Dai,
Dai ko inspiration le, Yo ta maile khali practice matra gareko ni. Yeso jiskera..Journalism kasto hune racha bhanera. Journalism practice garna ta Mr Bhagat ati nai maja aucha hai?? tara Malai ta teti maja lagena....afanai....dai lai pani ma kasto maobadi bhanthaane ??
ANi..tyo hajur ko "life history" ma chai malai mention nai garena dai le:(
Sauteni aamako chora bhanera?? Lekda pani quote ma "Brother" bancha!!!
Hajur ta aba Amrika ko top liberal arts ko IISKOOL ma padera thulo journalist hune hola. Haami lai chai Sauteni aaama ko chora bhanera hela nagarnu hola... aafu ta SLC pass huna nasakera, ajai gau ma nai chu.... Kahile aune ho dai Nepal... Anyway, BIDWAAN BHAYES!!! Haami lai nabirsanu hola....
Maya garne...
Ooohi sauteni Bhai,
NP
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| M.P. |
Posted
on 07-Nov-02 09:16 PM
Pyaaro "brother" NP,
"Brother" ta maayaa garera bhaneko ni. Tettikai risaauna parchha :)?
Bhanna ta malaai ne baale "dangdar" ban bhanyaathe. Timi pani patrakaar banna laagechhou, khusi laagyo. Baru milchha bhane gaam maai saano kitaab pasal ni kholnu.
Tyo oraali laageko Bhagat laai kati jiskyaaunu; aba baru bramachaari krishna parsad bhattarai ko baaremaa samchaar chhapnu.
Maile mero "life history" maa mention garena bhanera dukha namaana na. Yesai ta "jumbo" family tesmaathi sauteni aamako chhoraa, maamaaki chhoraa..jammai laai mention garna kahaa milchha ra? Arko kathaa lekhechhu bhane timlaai mention garchhu, pakkaa. Tallaare maaili ko kasam!
Ani Dashain kasto bhayo ni? Batauli tira baata ko ko ghar aaye? Tyo raatamaataa ko syaame le bhaarat maa byaa garyo bhanne suninchha, satye ho?
Timlaai SLC kasto laagyaa ta? Yo 7th year ho kyaare hoina? Tisan sisan padhera raamrari deuna. Padhna chhodera din bhari juwaa/taash khelna hidne holaa?? Tara thikai chha "brother" SLC pass garna nasake ni; ek dui janaa ta gaau sewaa garna basna paryo ni. Ki Kaso?
Ma Nepal aauni kaile ho ajhai thaahaa chhaina. K garne "brother" nun ko sojho garnai paryo. Aile jhan yo Bush bhanne chimpangi ko party le jiteko chha, tehaa aayera farkine belaa chhaap lagaai diyena bhane k garni?
Lau ta. Chiththi laamo bhayo kyaare. Antemaa, gharmaa jhagadaa nagarnu, baa/aamaa ko syaahaar garnu, raati baahira nahidnu, bhaai baini laai padhaaunu hai. Dukhaa napaaunu; baru kaam garna sakiyena bhane tyo kharen khetaalaa laai kaatna lagaaunu.
Ma timlaai chhadai nai Kuirini ko photo ra samundra ko paani pathaaidiulaa hai ta :)!
Patra ko apekchhyaa gardai
Timlaai mayaa garne "brother" M.P.
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| Junkie |
Posted
on 07-Nov-02 10:14 PM
Aaye Bhrikuti Mandaap mah chhute ko daju/bhai rahechhan ...... aashu aayo. Deliver garnay paper saab bheejyo.
Aba Desh mah President tah kidnap hunchhan bhane, hamee haru ko kay thaygaan. Good bye cruel world. I, too, long for the 12-year mela, so that I can be lost.
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| batauli |
Posted
on 07-Nov-02 10:19 PM
Reunited: M.P. finds NP
...
ra daju bhai milera ek kosa kera badhera khaye.."
batauli
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| nepal2000 |
Posted
on 07-Nov-02 11:19 PM
Taaja Khabar ...
Two of the previously "unidentified insurgences" have been named as Bitchpatrol and Bathroomcoffee. They are known to be hiding in Sajhapur. A warrant has been issued for their arrest.
Several other insurgents are also known to have been residing in Sajhapur in their pseudonym. All these Maobadis are very khappis in sneak attack hiding behind their masks.
:)
As NP said: "Note: this is just a hilarious/humor forum. Please don’t take any offense. "
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| NP |
Posted
on 08-Nov-02 07:32 AM
Pyaaro Thuldai M.P.
Sastanga Dandawot!!
Hajur le mero patra ko uttar diyeko ma dherai abhari chu:)
K garnu, gau ma kaam napayera 'berojgar' badeko cha. "diuso army, ani raati maowadi haro le dhukha diyera khattam." Aro K garnu, 'patrakarita' nagarera. Hajur Ghar ko thulo manche bhayera, AMRIKA KO TETRO THULO LA ISKOOL ma padhera ta patrakar banne bhayecha.... ma ta gau ma basne manche Gaff chutera khane bhado ta banaunu paryo, haina ta daju;) Aba...7 palta SLC ma fail bhaye, aba ta malai "Chanda sarkar" le "Ghada ko takma" bhiraula jasto cha.
Baro malai patrakaar banne AMRIKA MA SIKEKO TIPS haro po dinuhuntyo ki??? Mathi ko BREAKIN NEWS kasto lagyo dai lai. Tyo mero pahilo publish? Tyo...maro Parmendra Bhagat lai kati udaune hagi? Aba...aro aro lai samatnu parla jasto cha. Sajhapur ma aro kohi dhekinaa?? Baro...aro aro ko ko cha ni..yeso dai le source force lai dine ho ki? Malai yeuta Interview chapna man lageko cha mero patrika ma....
AA yepaali ko dashain ta ati ramro bhayo. Mama haro aunu bha thiyo batauli baata..
Ani dai lai ahile "BUSH" sarkar le talab bhatta diyera rakhi ra cha Amrika ma? La ta dai...chitti dherai laaamo bhaye jasto cha. Tyo...Kuirini haro sanga samudra ko kinar ma Kiss khayeko photo haro pathaunu paryo dai le. Ma lukayera rakhula ni...
Maayaaa garne
Dhuki bhai
NP
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| NP |
Posted
on 08-Nov-02 07:40 AM
junkie,
Aba...timi kaam napayera "patrika delivery" garne bhanya haina? Aba...yaha SAJHAPUR telegraph ma ta ma timi lai PATRAKAAR nai banaidinchu... Source force chahinna kya...
Ani timro rival NAJAR bhanne kti khai ta? Uslai pani liyera aaau baabu.
Nepal200,
Thanks for your news. You can post anything here as long as it doesn't harm others personally:)
I will come up with other news very soon!!!
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| najar |
Posted
on 08-Nov-02 09:43 AM
NPji, uso bhaye mero pani "jaagir" paune CHAANAS chha tapain ko sajhapur telegraph ma . Ali explicit hunu paryo-- Tyo junkie lai najar lai liyera aau matrai bhanera kahan hunchha ra?
Pheri kura padhda ta tapain le tei JUNKIE lai favor garya jasto chha, chhithhi address teslai garnu bhaachha. Mero PAYTEASUN (petition) tyam mai paunu bhayo bhane khabar garnu hola. Ma chahin tin din jaati ma uttar diula. Sahar ghumna jaana laagya chhu kya
Berojgar and believer in affirmative action
Najar
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| Poonte |
Posted
on 08-Nov-02 09:50 AM
Najar dijju lai sahrai pari sakechha...jata hereni jagir ko bhig magi ra...yesto desperate pani dekhinu hunna ke, Najar dijju...natra sable hepchhan..."ye, aayin feri jagir ko bhikari" bhanlan meri pyari dijju lai bhanera malai nai pir parna lai sakyo...
Pakhsyos, ma mero mama ko bhauju ko chhora ko sasura ko sathi ko chhori ko secretary lai bhanera so-fo layera kehi na kehi chahin milaidiunla aba, hunna? BHaiya huwa to aisa! ;)
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| NP |
Posted
on 08-Nov-02 01:45 PM
Najar Ji,
Tapai ko jaagir pakka ni. Ani...Parsi interview ma aunus. Baro...auta mathi ko jastai report lekhera yaha post garnu hos ta. My brother M.P. will evaluate if you're 'apt' to hire!!! You can use the same guy- Mr Bhagat for your sample;)
Tara pani tapai ko jaagir ta "patrakar" ma chai pakka hai! Baro tyo Junkie lai chai "delivery boy" matra banaunu parla.
Poonte paji lai k chahiyo. Tyo pani beroj gaar?? la aaau...Poonte mora/flirt...timi pani journalist hune?
NP
"Dice" President
Sajhapur Telegraph
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| Junkie |
Posted
on 08-Nov-02 03:27 PM
NP jee:
Hunchha mah Najar lai lera aaula, jhattai nai hai.
(background: yetti bakki chha aba, rival lai lera jagir khana janay).
Najar jee:
Job chha ray, hamee dui lai Hawa-patra pathaunay. Ramro luga lagayera basnu. Ma aaula pick-up mah pickup garna. Jaanu chha tada. Believer in affirmative action like you
(background mah: tyo Himal ko bichha ma drop garee dinchhu, and then eklai Jagir khana janchhu. Ani "affirmative" action lidai basnu, bagh, bhalu rah yeti sanga ....hehe)
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| Garibjanata |
Posted
on 09-Nov-02 11:58 AM
Punte Bhai haru, Parmendra bhaiya to ahile Prachanda bhai ko right-hand manche ma ganincha ni.Yo kidnap,sidnap ko kura sub BAKWAS ho, u afnai volition/khushi le Prachanda ko lair ma gaeko ho.
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| Garibjanata |
Posted
on 09-Nov-02 12:07 PM
Arko latest news,Punte bhai ra Punti Bahini haru: Parmendra ra Prachanda ko Chori Ko bich ILLU-ILLU cha bhane bado halla cha.Ahile Parmendra Jarchand Ko auta jungle ko majha,jo hamro comrade Prachanda ko den ho, tyahi cha.WAHI Parmendra ka unki ladki ke sath GANDHARVA BIBAHA karne ka bahot hi sambhabana hai.Samagri wamagri bhi a raha hai-Jaise,SINDOOR, POTE, MALA etc.etc.; PUROHIT BHI DHOOD RAHE HAI.KOI NAHI MILA TO HAMERE COMRADE BABURAM HI PUROHIT KA RUP DHARAN KARENGE.I will keep u all puntes and puntis informed.
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| NP |
Posted
on 09-Nov-02 10:24 PM
Junkie Bro...don't worry. Just give Najar ride... Thanks a lot;)
Junkie...I know you from NN era…:) You ma bud. Let’s get united against these mudslingers!!
So don't worry.... You both secure to get jobs in my Sinking Sajhapur Telegraph...I saw some people out there outrageously speaking against this thread. Half of the critics can never stomach me:)
But, let’s see sample journalism from you guys;)
Garib janta....very funny. Laughing out loud:)
NP
Sajhapur Telegraph
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| Junkie |
Posted
on 09-Nov-02 10:35 PM
Kay ho NP jee ..... NN days ray ...... haha .......
Raag na garnu my boss-will-be-soon ......
Sathi ray:
Yatah bhane sutukka source dinchhu, uta bhanay Najar lai force dine hola. Malai tah sathi haru sanga daar lagchha chau ;)
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| NP |
Posted
on 10-Nov-02 08:51 PM
Junkie Jiiiii,
K ko raag ni;) I wish I would know how to sing raag:(
sa re ga ma ...hahaha
Ani...Dal Bahadur kaha cha aaj kaal;)
La la Najar lai liyera...interview ma aunu. Timi ta sure nai hire bhayo..take my words.
NP
Sajhapur Telegraph
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| Junkie |
Posted
on 10-Nov-02 09:08 PM
Awesome, aajai gayera mero dui rah Sitara jyu ko 25 phuccha-phuchhi like ladoo sadoo khuwauchhu. (ani NP jyu still hung up on past. haha)
Jagir payiyo, dhukka bhaee yo. Hard Luck Najar jyu! Fool Sympeti chha mero tapai lai.
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| najar |
Posted
on 11-Nov-02 11:42 AM
Saaano bhai Poonte, how thoughtful of you! Thank you. As you very appropriately stated 'bhai ho to poonte jaisa' After all, didi lai maya garne ta bhai nai pare chha
Ani updates ke chha ta--timro tyo.............le jaagir milaidela jasto chha?
(Poonte lai khusukka---Poontu, suna na some sajhapures were saying--you are that gaine who sang at the kasturi club, astoria in dashain. If my memory cells are not fading(resulting from OLD age), i don't recall that 'gaine' being all that poonte --yo ke bhram ho, bhana ta ba?)
NP mahodaya, hus hajur I will grace the "Sajhapur Telegraph Office" with my presence. Thank you for considering me for the 'journalist' position. Tyo delivery boy ko position chahin Junkie lai dino bhaye hunchha, i don't mind. Purano acquaintance paryo bichara, TSN days dekhi ko. Pheri tyo naramro mancche pani hoina, malai TSN free delivery gardinchhu bhanthyo.
JUNKIE,
Ye Junkie timi te ke ho, ma sahar gaye ko mauka parera propaganda create garirakhya rahechhau mero against ma. Jhan aafu chahin, Junkie ramro manchhe chha bhanera NP sanga bayan gardain thiye--yo chahin yahan backstab garna tayar. Don't forget Junkie even MdotPdot has not offered you the position. I still have the chance. And I have more leads with now, fyi--HFC-II, Poonte ko naatedar, and now at the sajhapur telegraph.
La ma bholi 8:30am ma ready bhayera baschhu hai, Junkie if you are still coming to pick me up. Natra bhaye, mero cell phone ma phone gardinu on time, i will just take a cab.
ANd lonelyji,
sorry to disappoint you, Najar is a she :)
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| Poonte |
Posted
on 11-Nov-02 12:17 PM
Najr dijju's back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yippppppppeeeeee! Bhagwan shree pashupati naath ki jai!
eheheh...dijju, sunsyos, tyo gaine poonte thiyena re? haina...yo maghe sakranti pani hoina--ganja ko bhram bhanna lai...
(Sutukka, Najar dijju ko jhumka le sajiyeko kaan ma...sssssssh! So, you were at the kasturi club? Damn! Nabhannus hai kasailai!)
NP=Rusty????????? Malai formidable from from NN era re...ko parechha yo paajee?????? :P
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| khyal_thatta |
Posted
on 11-Nov-02 01:50 PM
Para Jee Just for fun hai ....no offense please!!!!!
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| khyal_thatta |
Posted
on 11-Nov-02 01:53 PM
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| khyal_thatta |
Posted
on 11-Nov-02 02:09 PM
http://www.geocities.com/khyal_thatta/ParaJee.gif
imgsrc=<"http://www.geocities.com/khyal_thatta/ParaJee.gif">
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| paramendra |
Posted
on 11-Nov-02 06:29 PM
khyal thatta:
This is a new experiment at Sajha. All is fine and dandy except your use of the M-word. Take that out and this can be a legitimate political cartoon.
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| Junkie |
Posted
on 11-Nov-02 10:14 PM
Najar jyu .... you heard me ho .... hmm to borrow from this stupid movie:
"Jesus! Did I say that?
Or just think it? Was I talking?
Did she h-e-a-r me? .........
Maybe I better have a chat with this gal I thought.
Perhaps if I explain things, she'll rest easy ...."
Ani job tah afno pocket mah ;-)
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| najar |
Posted
on 11-Nov-02 10:56 PM
Junkie mahodaya,
i think you were thinking aloud if i am thinking right, but no worries.
Junkie yes you said that
perhaps you thought aloud/ or may be you were talking
yes she did h-e-a-r you
but it is okay
you can have a chat with her
a potential "patrakar"
only time knows the fate
or may be Trikal maharaj does
let us eagerly wait to see
job kasko pocket mah
Junkie ko wah Najar ko !!?? :)
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| Junkie |
Posted
on 11-Nov-02 11:13 PM
Najar jyu ..... seems like you need the job more than I do. I don't wanna be a patrakaar. Just a delivery boy.
Got miles to go and light years to smoke, before I rest. Mah turuntai mero un-submitted yapplee-kation withdraw garchhu :-)
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| najar |
Posted
on 11-Nov-02 11:21 PM
Junkie, that easily, no no. You at least should want to compete, hoina ra? :) Withdraw nagarnus hai please.
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| Junkie |
Posted
on 11-Nov-02 11:28 PM
Hoina Najar jyu ...... There's this "want" and then there's that "won't". :=~
Got a call from Nature today. They want me back breathing (again ray, lau jah)...... Will go on a walk. (don't forget to deliver me my free copy) ..... :-)
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| Junkie |
Posted
on 12-Nov-02 12:36 AM
Need to become "real" before I become "binary" ......... Thanx to all the Sajhaites. ...... Last few weeks was awesome, NO re kya involved here! Jagir gayo, laazz lagyo ;-) ..... bhagahee mah tah bah kulle-laam thokera.......
Don't think, just SMOKE!
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| Rusty |
Posted
on 12-Nov-02 11:50 AM
poonte le k bancha?
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| najar |
Posted
on 12-Nov-02 11:54 AM
Junkie,
Najau na malai chhodi mukha modi.....I should also think twice of taking up the position(s) if you are not competing with me....
Rusty, Amrika ko rajdhani ko ghumai pherai how going?
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| Rusty |
Posted
on 12-Nov-02 11:59 AM
Najar Ji...
Aja Bush le invite garekoo cha dinner ko laagi:)
Najar ..a code message for you....I know u understand this...
Maintenez ce fil vivant jusqu'a vendredi. Nous devrions avoir l'amusement en ce fil;)
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| Poonte |
Posted
on 12-Nov-02 03:48 PM
Hamle pani bujheun hai, tyo fransisi bhasha!!!!
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| oys_chill |
Posted
on 12-Nov-02 05:41 PM
rusty dai :) tyo ta maile pani bujhen :)
bush ko chori sanga bhai ko kura chalauna nabirsini hai? :) ;)
ma pani america khana paryo kya ;)
oys
najar didi, *waving* kata uta herya...yaha bhai katti deen dekhin kuri rachu :)...poonte dai ta baato ma dekhe pani nadekhya jasto gardine :O radichhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
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| SITARA |
Posted
on 12-Nov-02 05:49 PM
Rusty ji!
Jeudi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :S
You in my serophero?????????? oooooooo la la!!!!! ESTOP! My beating heart!
;)
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| najar |
Posted
on 12-Nov-02 05:51 PM
Oys, heheh--maile chahin timilai arko thread ma wave gari rakhya--kasto criss cross bhaye chha :)
Poonte ra Oys both aafnai manchhe ho, code language bujhe pani no problemo!! :)
Rusty Monsieur, comment allez vous?
a la prochaine--aurevoir
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| SITARA |
Posted
on 12-Nov-02 05:57 PM
Rusty ji...
Ghooming in DC but kata tira Najaring?
Najar ji... I heard him sing "Najar ke samane, jigar ke pass........" And guess what it has been raining in DC eversince!!
;)
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| najar |
Posted
on 12-Nov-02 06:02 PM
Ho ra Sitara, thank you dear for the updates.
But the irony is he never sings that song when i see him in person. Mero agadi chahin, twinkle twinkle little stars bhani rahanchha....:)
Perhaps i should DHL a few special umbrellas to DC :]
All in jest :)
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