| Username |
Post |
| hippie |
Posted
on 12-Nov-02 09:53 AM
Inspired by: Deep, Oys_chill in particular, M.P.’s humor and Sajha in general.
SAJHAPUR DIARIES
Not so long ago, in Sajhapur …..
Kale and me were early for our usual night of revelry at Sauni’s pasal. Surprisingly, Mote was absent. That was a surprise, as he was known to be early – a true Chhyang lover. He always joked, “Timee haru jasto hoina mah. Marye bhannay pani chhyang khana aauchhu bhujhis. Timee haru ko lagee matra …… hehe (grinning)”
Reminiscing that, Kale mocked: “Mote jawanee mai maryo jasto chha …. haha”
I added to the banter, “Khoi, pacchas jana lay bokera lagyo hola teslai swarga mah.”
Now, Mote was just such a loveable happy-go-lucky fellow that anything less than heaven would be sheer travesty of creation. Unquestionably, he was the favorite of all the Sajhapur kids; Not only did he have an array of “eka desh ko” stories (Deep style), but he also knew each kid’s favorite mithae. Never having slighted a soul, he was a pleasure to hang out with.
Just then Kalankisthan came in, ever so stealthily.
Without wasting a minute, he got right to the point: “Hey keta ho! Sauni khoi yaar.”
I answered: “Bhitra gako chha chhyang lina. Kina?”
Kalankisthan:
“Aaja, date chha kya Sauni ko chori sanga. Sauni lai busy rakha hai keta ho barha baje samma.”
I glanced at my watch. It had stopped. “7.30pm” it reflected.
Me: “Kay dasah lage. Sadhe saat ko dasha bhanchan. Oway Kale katti bajyo ahilay?”
Kale with his “liberal tongue” responded: “Dash bajyo nee mu**.”
“la la Kalanki. Timlay pani kya yaad rakhchau. Timro naam mah yo dui ganta nai sahee. Here’s to b-o-n-d -- Sajhapur bond” I replied, mimicing the best “007” accent I could.
Hattareko Kalankisthan: “La la. I owe you guys one, heck even two. Pheri bhetula.”
No sooner had he left, a distant but distinct voice humming the most out of tune song ever reverberated in our ears:
“Nakalli lai, bhagai lagyo jhilke lay …..
jhikaye lai …. Kuni kay kay p-a-r-y-o ….”
It would be safe to bet that even a deaf would be hard pressed to miss Oys_chill's voice for anything else. His voice was ....hmmm .... one of God’s finest concoction! His was the voice of a generation, created with great detail and never imitated ......
As Oys approached, the pain in our ears multiplied, then quadrupled and so on and on. With each passing second, it felt as if NP, MP(without dots), Ashu, Paramendra, bitchpatroll was locked in our ears.
Kale was quick to display the dangers of getting “half-education” in a English boarding yeschool meant only for High Caste Nepali Speaking people [paramendra, Sajha]:
“Muz* talai thaha chha Oys ko soor kina yesto amalgamate hudai gako?”
Me: “You poor half-wit. ‘Amalgamate’ hoina, increment bhako bhan nah.”
Kale:
“La la, mu**. Dui din kay Masternee Sitara sanga education leko theeyish. Aba mula sathi lai hepna thalish.”
Remembering my first tuition from Masternee Sitara, Me:
“Hoina mula. Ekjolly, yo saab ‘refined vocabulary and elaborate semantics’ ko khela ho heer. I suggest, Kale mu**, that you read any book by ‘any book by Hayakawa hajur’.”
Kale irritated: “la la mu**. Enywaye, bhana nah, oys ko soor kina increment bhako?
Me: “Thaha chaina mu**”
….. (man-manai: damn manchhe ko mu**Sangat sure spoils one )
Kale in his anything but perfect English:
“Det is called Doppler effect in effect at Sajhapur, Mouse-seur”
Me (not to be put down easily, aakhir Sitara madame ko chelo ho bhai):
“Aaye. Masternee Sitara lay malai “C” samma matra padhanu bhako chha. I will recall that ween I study eat next weak.”
As we were engrossed in our masterful conversation, we noticed that Sauni was back with a gallon of chhyang.
Sauni: “Aaye dai haru.”
In unison, the two Einstein: “Bhannus Sauni.”
Sauni: “TSN herne bhayo. Aajkal ramra ramra padhe lekheka patrakaar aaye ka chhan.”
Ingenious Kale: “Khoi, black print hernu hunna lay Dr. SimpleGal lay bhannu bhayeko chha. Black is evil and destroys the inner peepal lay”
Sitara’s yestudent (me): “Mula, peepal hoina. Sauni he means eye pupal.”
Sauni: “Whaatever it is. TSN parnu khub majja aauchha aajkal.”
We: “Kina ho testo?”
Sauni: “Gyan buddhi kah kura hunchha. Ani bihee ko chhalpahal pani chha.”
We: “Aaye tyo hamro uhilay ko chhalpahal tah hoina. Ke chha tesko.”
Sauni:
“Hoina tyo mora. Tyo tah Amerika gako chha ray. Sajhapur chha-derah. I man to say, bihee ko kura chalaudai chha ray San God ko aashirbad lay.”
We: “Aaye kasko kasko?”
Sauni:
“Khoi aru ko kura garnu tah hudaina. But Paschim rah Sitara ko khub ramjham hudai chha. Ani tyo Czar pani bichha ma pareko chha ray.”
Me: “Triangular lop sop rahechha. Sauends likea another alluring Hindi movie story”
Sauni continuing the update: “Tara Paschim lai tah haresh kayee chha.”
Kale: “Kina nee?”
Sauni: “Aba Masterne Sitara ghar sarchha. Ground Floor batah sarera top floor ma gayera basee key chhe. Ani Paschim tah uhi ho. Exercise na garnay kahilay. Thakyo nee bichara…. (hashdai she adds) “Approachable but unattainable” bhanchha katai Paschim.”
I smiled knowingly. Kale too smiled, as if he also understood the English.
Just then Oys happened by.
Oys: “Oh ho ……Merry Friday!!!! Aarmai dai harulai…… (jiskyadai) Sauni Kalanki lai dheknu bhako chha?”
Sauni: “Kya jannu hamee tah. Hola nee Sajhapur ko cheli-beti lai fakaudai mora.”
Oys, feeling much better at “one-upping” Kalankisthan: “Tyo moro testai ho! Useless”
Unknowingly scaring us, he continues: “Dai haru, euta geet sunau ….. .”
Trying to sound as diplomatic as ex-President Paramendra, I reply:
“Oys bhatti mah tah talentless haru lay po gauchha.”
The naïve Oys continues: “Dai haru ko lagee tah jhan dinchhu. Geet ko kay kura. La Sunnus ….. ”
Nakalli lai, bhagai lagyo jhilke lay …… jhilkay lai gaal paryo ….
Timee hamee sojha lai ….
pakkai mah gaal paryo …..
Maybe the chhyang was coming on strong but Oys never sounded better. We joined in to complete the Sajhapur triad. Stupid Kale tried on his break-dance, more affected by chhyang than the beat. While I tried the never-fail move “haat up and down with a wiggling shoulder” looking more like a traffic-police than anything else ........
(continued below )
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| hippie |
Posted
on 12-Nov-02 09:54 AM
Full of vexation and panting in anger Ashu comes into the Pasal:
“Hey Guys! Have you seen that tasteless, slandering, meandering jerk NP. I tell you guys, some people can pique my interest in all the wrong bones. Was I not a phlegmatic individual, there’d be a Kranti in Sajha. One can only keep quiet for so long. And what’s with all these hurtful, distressful, painful, reeky, meeky slander against Paramendra jyu. Can you hear me? Is humor dead in this Sajhapur. I pity the fools. You guys continue on your repast. La ma lage, Oohi Ashu. Peace”
Anything but peace prevailed after that. Kale needed a shot of chhyang and me two to get back to normalcy.
Then we hear Dr. SimpleGal on the radio:
“ …… today what we lack is education. Analytical skills are over rated. What we need is to delve deeper into the human psyche. If not, we shall see some charlatan, albeit an intellectual, such as Tim Leary, astonishing the young impressionable minds with “expansionist views”. What a waste! Absolute pity, I might add, that he was the only one speaking and thus the only one being heard. Mind you I emphasis “HE”. Were there more female psychologist to challenge him, then maybe the atrophy of the 60s and 70s youth would be lessened…… And ofcourse let’s not forget the pleasure in “simple things”. What joy! …….In Peace.”
The bigreko weather outside was getting even more byad and late time was getting ekdaam dhilo by now.
Kale whispered: “Hmm …. Ek bajee sakyo. Ma tah lagee. Ghar.”
Me: “La ma pani lagchhu aba …..”
Mote: “Bhog lagyo yaar. Ek plate momo khayera jaula nee.”
Kale:
“Mu** Mote. Tai khayera bash. Tyaha ghar mah ek minute mah nah puge marchhe budhi lay. Sajhapur ko keti nah paree. Dangerous hunchha. Flying kiss deko key flying kick thaha nai paudaina. Bihana dhhat dhukhe pachhi balla classify hunchha”
Me: “Classify hoina ho ….. clarify bhana nah. Hya mo tah lagee. Later Mote, Kale.”
Dilasha and Najar in unison:
“Don’t say maan pare hai, jadiya ho. Sajhapur ko keta haru pani dheke sake. Kaan samataye baba. Afu haru lay jay gare pani hune: sexist humor, anti-thong campaign. Bicharee Niharika bainee lai kasto raag gareko. Ani bicharee Gurl_Interrupted bainee, timee haru jastai chor haru lay garda jhandai haam falekee thiye Rani Pokhari mah. Kasso last minute mah good-bye quote birsera faree bicharee, Trikal Gurudev ko aashirbad lay.
Timee haru lai ego problem bhako hola keti haru ko talent dhekhera. Sitara dijju sanga grammar sika hou murkha ho. Kura garchha. huuu …..”
Gurl_Interrupted shrill and chilling voice from the outskirts of Sajhapur interrupts them:
“Oh me thinks how slow this old moon wanes ……
She lingers my desires ……
Romeo raja, Where Art Hajur?
You are where where, I am here here: Is that fair?
Oh Cupid tell me: “When to be or how long before not to be!”
Dilasha, Najar and Sauni (maan-manai):
“Bhagwan San lay bicharee ko yoban mah pheri hareeyali laoosh.”
Dhumbasse, half inebriated in the corner:
“re kya aajha lasta mah bhanna na birsa hai ….. *hick* …. hehe ….. re kya aajhai jhanai lasta …..”
------------------------------------------------
Here’s to all the Sajhapur Niwase.
Missed out on some regular Sajhaites like Rusty, Bhedo, Chuchi_didi, Diva_Starz, Suna, Jame Bonds, VillageVoice, ToriLaure, Chipledhunga, isolated freak, HahooGuru, Arnico to name a few. You were all missed but not forgotten. Keep up the Sajha party (and ofcourse the inevitable melee).
Sorry if I slighted anyone unknowingly.
I really hope humor didn’t die with Rock N Roll …..
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| hippie |
Posted
on 12-Nov-02 09:54 AM
We hardly noticed as Mote came in and quietly sat by the chair. The somber look on his face said it all: Motaye ko din-dasah bigreko thiyo bhanera. Tara kina hola?
Kale: “Oway mu** Mote. Kaha thiyeesh……”
…… Silence …… Adorning his trademark “Monalisa smile” he stared back at us.
Worried, Kale: “Kay morake ko manchhe jasto chup lageko mu**. Kay bhayo yaar?”
Mote:
“Kay hunu nee Kale gadha. Mero Firstah aaune record break bhayo nee. Batah mah ekchin aadkiya. Raag bhayo nee. New Road ko rush hour traffic tesh mathi Deep jee ko katha sunna mancche haru ko ghuee-choo ……”
Oys elated at hearing Deep’s name bring mentioned: “Aaye Deep Dai aako thiyo. Hya yaar, raddish bhayo nee. Miss bhayo. Malai tah Deep ko saab katha kantha pareko chhu nee. Niharika ko thong ko kasam…… hmm …. Tara birse dherai jaso katha. Long time you see!”
Mote, uncharacteristic of his way, starts to sing:
“ ….. Oys ….. Samjhera pani samjhana kay chha rah ……
Daudee rahee ko samaya, bitee sake pachhi farkera aaudaina ……
Hasee khusee bitau jiwan …….
Aashu ko jharnah, bagaunu pardaina mero geet sunera …..”
Just then Dumbasee screamed from the corner:
“aah-haa ….. Gajjab chha Mote! Mote ko love paryo jasto chha nee, re kya aajha …. haha …..”
Dumbasse continues:
“On second thought, Mote lai Junkie ko aashar pareko jasto chha. Mote Ether smell garish key kya ho. Tyo hippie ko sangat na gar hai…… Natra chadai marlash ….. re kya aajha last mah” ….. He went on munching on Sauni’s sekuwa.
Najar could not keep quiet hearing Junkie’s name. Don’t ask me what she was doing in a bhatti, but the rumor is that she is a good friend of Sauni.
Najar:
“Tyo mora gajade Junkie. Jhandai mero jagir khako teslai, TSN ko delivery boy ko. Afno katro sapana chha. Pahilay Delivery ani Patrkaar hune. Mora darayera bhagyo.”
Kale supporting Najar (alik side hanndai):
“Najar, timro agadi tyo gajade Junkie ko chanash nai chaina. He is no one compared to you. You simply stone gal.”
Me: “Salay Kale. “Stone” hoina. “ROCK” bhana nah. You ROCK, bhujhis.”
Najar (makkah pardai):
“Dhanyabad Dai haru lai!”
Me (khushukka Kale lai): “Khub side haneko thiyeesh nee. “Dai” ray talai. Haha”
Kale, ever the optimist:
“Talai kay thaha mu**. Sajhapur ko keti haru yestai ho. Dherai lajau chhan. Dai bhannay tah hamro culture ko kura ho nee. Aba turuntai tyo khairee jasto “Lop, sweety, honey-bunny bhannay mildaina nee. Baru “bhai” bhanyo bhane “tero chanash chaina” bhaneko ho”
Dilasha, another of Sauni’s friend, was there too. She gave a stern look at Najar and continued in a pissed tone:
“Mori Najar. Tailay DE’s ma publish bhako acceptance speech haru padheko chainash. Baru yesto bhan nah: ‘First of all, I’d like to thank Sajhapur for this opportunity. I clearly don’t deserve such panegyrics. Junkie, though a profligate individual, was an inspiring opponent. Last but not the least my fans such as yourself dai haru. Thank you……(pause for clap) ….. (interrupt) ….. Thank you so much.’ ”
Najar:
“Na kara mori. Hamee Sajhapur ko sojhi lai aaudaina testo nakkal parera jhuto bolna.”
Enter M.P. and NP.
NP:“Najar. You are hired and Junkie is fired. (khussuka) tyo paisa ko lagee dhanyabad.”
M.P.: “Aaye Sajha basee ho. Mero TSN badhnah na birsanu hai. I am going to write another masterful piece soon on politics and math. I promise it will be as intriguing and mellifluous as my previous writing.”
Eager to explain to Kale, I try to come up with something for “mellifluous”. Jay bhane pani mora lay bhuje po tah.
Me: “Kale, Mellifluous is ‘chhoto rah ramro’”.
Kale looking less confused: “Mu**, what would I do without you yaar. Aba tah ma pani Sitara maam ko class janu paryo. Bejjat nai huna lagyo.”
Exit daju bhai, M.P.(with dots) and NP.
(continued below ....... )
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| hippie |
Posted
on 12-Nov-02 09:56 AM
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| Deep |
Posted
on 12-Nov-02 09:58 AM
kya bawal.
Solid chha la! deadly hola jasto chha poonam ko muskan ra sibaniko herai jasto. jawos jawos.
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| najar |
Posted
on 12-Nov-02 11:59 AM
Hippie le HASAYOOO.......good work...well worth the read despite its length. Hope you will continue to write as opposed to some of the emergin' writers that have come and left :(
A toast to hippie's debut with a borrowed broad smile :]
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| Rusty |
Posted
on 12-Nov-02 12:04 PM
Hippieie...
Bon jour....I am here with cure:)
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| Rusty |
Posted
on 12-Nov-02 12:05 PM
Hippie...
Also..forgot to say ...great work you have done:)
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| SITARA |
Posted
on 12-Nov-02 12:41 PM
Hippie ji!!!
Astounding, impressive, absolutely intoxicating, intoxicatingly hilarious not to mention scintillatingly stupendous!!!!!!!
You, my wonderful Student have done an exceptional job!
Would you like to apply to Harvard??????? BTW do you know your IQ? Janai (threads) ma bandhya ta chainan hoina?
Roll OVER Bhedovans....ooops! Beethovans!
:P
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| DHUMBASSE (DUMBASS) |
Posted
on 12-Nov-02 12:53 PM
Quite impessive . I like it .. Ke ho aajkal sajha ma ta .....
( Dhumbasse, half inebriated in the corner:
“re kya aajha lasta mah bhanna na birsa hai ….. *hick* …. hehe ….. re kya aajhai jhanai lasta …..” )
Ma jaaad ta khanna...sacchi bhanya..Tyo Jira ko Guff nasunauana .... re kya ajha lastma ..
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| oys_chill |
Posted
on 12-Nov-02 01:07 PM
Hippie le ni handigaon ko bhatti pasal ma khub dhako jasto cha.....tyo jatra ko kassam, geet gauna naaye pani wari jamuna ma chai thyakkai bhojpuri styal le dance gardinchu ;)
la je hoss good one.........afno ta k garnu, no time, no kaam cha aajkaal.........hippie le 70's ma khub tanya jasto cha.........sabbai ahile po niskidai cha ni ;)
oys
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| hippie |
Posted
on 12-Nov-02 01:35 PM
Look like it was a bad idea to post this in the first place. Aba saab jana risaunah thalyo.
Once again: I didn't mean to belittle anyone. I "tried" to MOCK everyone including myself. Aba if you don't like it too bad. Either MOCK me, would love that. Or just ignore this thread.
Just thot that we could all enjoy a laugh at each other. Kasailay uchalna-pacharnah khojeko hoina.
Sitara: Katro krood! Didn't mean to offend you. Okie maybe a bad joke from a low IQ-wala. Well if it makes you happy, go ahead and mock me. Would be fun to laugh at myself (and if you had read the whole thing, you'd have seen).
Dhumbasee: Okie replace me for the jadiya.
Oys: Well Deep and you did inspire me. Although not in the same par as Sitara pointed out. Thot that we could all enjoy a joke on ourself. I couldn't be more wrong.
Barbaad! Next time will just stick to ramro ramro kura. That is if there is next time.
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| Biruwa |
Posted
on 12-Nov-02 01:55 PM
Excellent piece hippie !
Nothing like this had appeared in sajha dobato since a long time. I had been lax at commenting any posts in sajha but I just had to write something for this one!
You got A++ from me. :-)
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| kalankisthan |
Posted
on 12-Nov-02 01:56 PM
HEHE,
afno ta katha ma ni KAKTALI parcha!!
Sauni ko chori ghumauna paai ra.. Moj bho ni.
hippie bro le last hasaayo.
next time 1 kilo G on me!!
Kirtipur gayera Bot nai ukhalera lyaai diula, hippie jyu lai...
hahaha
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| Deep |
Posted
on 12-Nov-02 02:03 PM
hippie:
Ka janlako? yasto solid piece lekhe si yattikai jana painchha ki kyaho? la mero dhanyabad pani boknu paryo. khal bata yasai jitera jana paidaina!
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| SITARA |
Posted
on 12-Nov-02 02:59 PM
hippie ji!!!!
:(
Kasto deliberate misinterpretation, hajur!
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| DHUMBASSE (DUMBASS) |
Posted
on 12-Nov-02 03:12 PM
Hippie jiskya hunu parcha..hoina..
nai dekhi lageko bani ..ghurkyauna shipalu cha hamro hippie..Aba " Quite impressive " bhanda aru " khoi ma ke bhanau" ..re kya ajha lastma
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| hippie |
Posted
on 12-Nov-02 03:25 PM
To Mock and to be Mocked ..... that was my intention ..... just to kill a mocking bird :-)
You happy, me happy. (one who doesn't laugh at oneself, suffers ray).
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| Poonte |
Posted
on 12-Nov-02 03:34 PM
Ke bhanne? Ma ta stunned...ho ki stoned? Hoina, ROCKED hola!
Absolutely magnificent!!!
But then again, Hippie mula le bore garyo...I am also in the process of writing a chhoto natak based on Sajhapuraes...aba steal gardyo ni fun ;)
Keep up the good work, Hippie!
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| SIWALIK |
Posted
on 12-Nov-02 04:12 PM
Extremely pleased to see so many talents in sajhapur. Definitely would suggest some cute skits geared toward spreading democratic "education" and "values" to ordinary Nepalese in a similar manner. It would enable them to understand and appreciate the charm of democracy under the guise of "comedy" or satire. I see people with equal or better talent than MAHA, etc...
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| Suna |
Posted
on 12-Nov-02 04:15 PM
hippie!
GREAT WORK!
(when do you guys get the time?)
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| oys_chill |
Posted
on 12-Nov-02 05:24 PM
harey hippie kina sankya?
i can inspire someone? maile ta ruler le naak pani napeko ni hau bro :)
aaba hippie brozz haroo taneko kura garyo bhane khusi huncha bhanya ta .............screw lose po bhayecha..........
about being inspired by sitara masterni.........mmm i wonder why ;)?
anyways, hippie bro, mero pani sabbai comments all in good faith ni :)
pheri bhattaunu paryo: kingslover ko dialogue:
WE NEED HUMOR IN LIFE FOR LIFE IS DEAD SERIOUS RE KYA :)
oys
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| najar |
Posted
on 12-Nov-02 05:36 PM
Ye Hippie, ani tyo maile testo ramro prashamasa (from the bottom of my heart) garya chahin conveniently overlook garidine, kya ho??
Jaana paunu hunna hai ahile hippie mahodayay, aba glimpse of humor diye pachhi fool dose nai puryaunu parchha, natra resistance factor develop hola sajhabasi ma--health tips dinu paryo ni.
La aba "if next time" bhanne kura nagarnus, arko treat liyera aaunus hamilayi, baru ma tapain lai G supply gardinchhu electronically 70s reminisce hune gari :)
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| najar |
Posted
on 12-Nov-02 05:41 PM
Ye Oys dear, ke chha haalkhabar? mero braindrain ko ganthan payeu? Btw, i really liked a comment you made in some other thread--love all, trust few--or something along that line. Bhai raja is simply the coolest :)
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| oys_chill |
Posted
on 12-Nov-02 06:08 PM
tyai ta najar didi :)
ma pani sochi ra how am i so cool bhanera, yaha hippie raicha ra ta mero fan ;) malai hamkya hamkyai raicha............;)
hippie bro.sharing is loping hai? eklai eklai fly garera high hune haina ni......sangai basera matrix herna parcha kya ;)
oys
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| SITARA |
Posted
on 13-Nov-02 06:44 AM
Hippie ji
We are waiting hajur!!! Please involve other characters too ! :)
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