| Username |
Post |
| lonely |
Posted
on 17-Nov-02 09:55 PM
At certain time in life, people get married. I was just curious on what is the ideal age to get married?
Could you people give reasons when you say 25 or 30 or what ever , but try to explain why?
One of my close friend said you should get married before 30 because, according to him this is the situation:
You marry at the age of 30, and you have two kids at 31 and 34 ( I assume 2 two be ideal number of kids for most people). By the time you retire, lets say around when you are 50 ( which is also assumed as per nepali standard) your kids would be 19 and 16. See, you are already retired and your kids are somewhere around high school. You need to support them for next 5-6 years. So according to him ideal age to get married is before or around 27-28.
What do you think? IS he right? Or you think something diifferent??
Please put in your comments...
jai sajhapur...
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| k_loaded |
Posted
on 18-Nov-02 12:16 AM
kya waiyaat.....
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| M.P. |
Posted
on 18-Nov-02 12:16 AM
Lonely,
I suggest you should marry soon. Marry someone who stays at the east coast. That way, you can use all your weekend minutes on your cellphone talking to her. Being an economist, that's the best advice I can give you. It's a matter of cost-benefit analysis, you know :)
The person with whom I hang out alot is almost a chain smoker. Someone told me that passive smoking was much riskier than active smoking. So, I recently started smoking. For my health :) You see, sometimes you have to do rigorous cost-benefit analysis to decide on things as trivial as this. Marriage is a serious matter [unless you marry a comedian :)] Here is how I would break down your situation:
Benefits of getting married right now:
--Your 'private utility' goes up :)
--You can use your weekend-free minutes on your cellphone [this is for cyber marriage]
--By the time you retire, you will have your sons graduate from college and if your sons turn out to be as buddijibi as you, their children will have graduated from school.
--You will learn to listen [well, unless it is a cyber marriage, you will not get to speak :)]
Now, the cost(s):
--You may not be able to come to Sajha as frequently as you do now [this is also a social cost as it will affect us all].
By the way, when are you planning to send your children to school to have them 'around high school' at the age of 19? I mean, high school by Nepali standard [arthaat class 8 to SLC]. Nou barsa ko hudaa ek class maa bharnaa gardini ho? Hare Shiva! Or, are you planning to buy a house near a high school?
No indirect challenges hai. Sidhai sidhai ho :)
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| M.P. |
Posted
on 18-Nov-02 12:22 AM
Wasn't really in a good mood after the Jumla attacks. Tara, yesto maukaa pachhi naaulaa ko bhanera lonely laai peldyaa maatrai :).
Back to Raajnity,
M.P.
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| batauli |
Posted
on 18-Nov-02 12:25 AM
the right time to marry is when you start pondering if it is the right time for you..
flying marriage (keti udaune) bela ma ta umer sumer chhaindaina ni.. ki kaso
batauli
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| KaLaNkIsThAn |
Posted
on 18-Nov-02 04:34 AM
Right time to get married?
I think it should be 18 for guys and 16 for girls.
1. Guys won't complain about not getting young girls, girls won't complain about not getting young guys.
2. Guys will be more responsible. "Ghar ma shrimati aayeshi kaam garnai paryo, padhnai paryo, awara hunu bhayena, swasni le kyar kyar garne bho", so all the responsibilities. Loook at me, "mero shrimati bhaa bhe ma yesto aawara hunthe ra"?
3. Remember history? People used to get married by the time they were 13. And by the age 15, they would be thula bada manche. Bethoven, Mozart, Shakesphere, Ramcha sharki and etc etc. They were all married in the early age.
4. If you get married on 18, when you are 40, your son will be 21, married and bachcha ko bau.... So both father and son will be jawan at the same time. Your son gets job and you go find a yatch. Ladies. Imagine, when you are 33, your daughter gets married. But you are still young. "budha lai chaak ma laat haanera, Masti garna tira laage bho ni hoina ta? ". 40 samma ta ladies haru chwaank nai huncha ni .. hehe
5. bharkhar samma dimag mai thyo, nindra le bhusukkai birshiye!!
Kasto nindra laagya yaar jhyap jhyaapti... jaad nahaalyo ki nindra laagcha.. ke bha hola... Opposite reaction!!!
kyaa naam chaine disstubb?
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| Arnico |
Posted
on 18-Nov-02 04:49 AM
Hey MP, who said married people can't come to sajha as often?
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| anepalikt |
Posted
on 18-Nov-02 05:26 AM
Arnico, you funny!
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| ashu |
Posted
on 18-Nov-02 07:11 AM
This thread reminded me of this piece I wrote -- under the name of Bhupendra Rawat -- on one April evening in 1999.
Enjoy this for what it's worth!!
Sorry, if this is a "repeat" for some of you.
oohi
ashu
ktm,nepal
****************************
A Suitable Girl
By Bhupendra Rawat
My parents wanted me to get married. Every evening, as I
returned home from office and slumped down on the family couch with a
cup of steaming Ilam chiya, my mother's constant "its time you got
married, Bhupu," only made me silently switch the channels all the more.
OK, I agree that my parents are not orthodox morons,
hell-bent on forcing me to marry someone they have chosen.
But I couldn't help feeling very annoyed everytime the topic of
wedding came up around the house. As a 20-something male
working as a banker by day, and watching movies by night, I had
yet to find my Miss Right in Kathmandu. Simply put, she seemed
not to exist at all.
Meantime, the women of my dreams seemed to visit me only in
my dreams: Manisha Koirala, Madhuri Dixit, Pamela Anderson Lee and bevies of
other unattainably luscious babes. What's a under-pressure-to-get-married
guy like me to do in Kathmandu?
The problem seemed to sort itself out when well-meaning
relatives started arranging "dates" for me. My deal was to meet
carefully pre-screened (i.e. of the right
caste/class/height/weight/complexion . . .
whatever) Nepali women -- one at a time, at some restaurant.
She and I were supposed to talk, laugh, gaze into each other's eyes, and if
sparks flew, I was to ask her out again and again, until she -- in a moment
of sheer insanity, I suppose - said yes.
If no sparks flew, well, there was nothing to be burned up
about. This, I was assured, was a liberal, Westernized Nepali Hindu Bahun's
sort of civilized halfway between a blind date and an engagement. Yes, but
would I meet my soul-mate this way?
MISS BOOK REVIEW: I met her at Nanglo Restaurant on Durbar Marg.
Delicately picking at the house-salad, she gushed about
the Beatles, Merchant-Ivory movies and Dr. Pratyoush Onta's writings.
Her idea of fun included listening to Hari Prasad Chaurasiya play
the flute, spending hours at the Mandala Book Point browisng through their
Penguin book selections and reading back issues of Himal magazine and The
Kathmandu Post Review of Books.
Talking with her, I felt I had to be extra witty, extra smart and extra not-so-myself. And so, in the end, with my head bursting with gyan-goon ka kura gained from her, I decided that she would be mismatched with a Yuba-Manch and Kamana-magazine reading idiot like me.
Miss AMERICA-OBSESSED: At Fire & Ice in Thamel, this youngest daughter of a corrupt bureaucrat honestly admitted that the only reason she was meeting me was to find out whether I would take her to the US. Why was America so important to her? Because
all her sisters and cousins were there with their computer programmer husbands.
Besides, she added, "In America, there would be freedom to do whatever I want". When I explained that I was back in Nepal for good, largely to take care of my parents, she got up, pouted her lips, and gave me a sweet bye-bye, leaving the large pizza-pie on the table, half-uneaten.
Miss HINDI FILMI: Fashionably dressed in Salwar Kameez and strikingly made up with a dash of Erotique perfume wafting out of her buxom self, this temptress was waiting for me at Aroma Restaurant in Jamal. Since shrill Hindi music was blaring
from the speakers above, we ended up chatting about Shah Rukh
Khan and Kajol.
Soon, over mango lassi, we were comparing notes about the sorry state of Nepali cinema, and she then went on to express her obligatory Kathmandu's middle-classy concerns about how Nepal was "losing its cultural, social values because of [what else but] hindi-nization".
Though the guff was good, sadly, in the end, unlike in that super-hit Shah Rukh-Kajol movie, nothing "kuch kuch" happened between us.
Miss NGO ACTIVIST: Over sweet and sour chicken at Rice & Bowl in Tripureswor, this young lady looked straight into my eyes, and explained what she had studied at some pricey liberal arts college in Western Massachusetts.
She was articulate, and seemed to know more about Nepal than I ever hoped or cared to. Her job was in Lahan, where she was supervising poor Tharu women on some
gender-based income-generating project. She was obviously very smart, earnest, dedicated, and sounded like just the woman needed for Nepal ko Bikas. But, in the end, moved both by patriotism and mostly by self-doubts, I thought that such a dynamic woman must be saved to run the country someday.
So, there I was: Four dates, and no suitable girl in my arms. Surely, there must be a few marrigeable Nepali women -- of any caste/class/height/weight/complexion -- with a great sense of humor and a zest for life, right? But, sitting here in Kathmandu, I
wonder, and I wonder. THE END.
[Note: This is a work of absolute, absolute FICTION for pure
entertainment. This is not to be taken seriously. None of the above women
exist. None of these dates ever took place. Ashutosh Tiwari used to write
satires and humor under the name of Bhupendra Rawat. This was
published in The Kathmandu Post in May 1999.)
|
| M.P. |
Posted
on 18-Nov-02 07:55 AM
Arnico,
I said, "You MAY NOT be able to come to Sajha as frequently as you do now." No offence to married Sajhaabasis who come here more frequently than those pretending-to-be-busy college students!
Thank you, Ashu, for the great article. By the way, how old was "Miss NGO ACTIVIST" when you met her? :) Is she still not taken [just thinking she might be a good match for Lonely].
On a side note, you said you were trying "to meet
carefully pre-screened (i.e. of the right
caste/class/height/weight/complexion . . .
whatever) Nepali women -- one at a time, at some restaurant." But you never talked about the height/weight/complexion of the four ladies. Just getting curious if these four unlucky ladies were rejected just because of their interests or something else :)
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| M.P. |
Posted
on 18-Nov-02 07:56 AM
Read the last line as:
just because of their interests or because of something else :)
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| Biruwa |
Posted
on 18-Nov-02 09:18 AM
Lonely(Who isn't alone anymore),
The "RIGHT" times is always the present time.
:-)
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| NK |
Posted
on 18-Nov-02 11:13 AM
Lonely, It seems this imaginary friend of yours want to get married for not-yet-delivered-offsprings. That is the lousiest reason to get married. I think they are just a by product [no not toxins at all!:)] of your love. First you marry then you think about *them/her/him.*. You know choro paunu kahiley kahiley[ ] if you have any better thing to add to that old adage please insert. [just learnt from Zadie Smith].
Anyway, if you fall in love and you think yo u cannot live with that person even for a single moment, if you sweat and heart starts to beat faster, if you start to throw up from nervousness when you see her and even when you don't see her then THAT is the time to get married. ok ,throwin' up might suggest some other ailment, but i guess you got the gist.
Even if it does not work out after 20 or ten or 5 or whatever months/years, you can say I loved and lived! Nothing is carved in stone you know. Just live!
Good luck!
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| NP |
Posted
on 18-Nov-02 01:02 PM
Lonely,
Marriage isn't what you think it is. It's a license you give the government that allows greedy opportunistic lawyers to steal everything you own;)
So, think twice before you do anything like getting married. There's never a better time to get married:)
M.P. Dai,
Dherai din pachi darshan bhayo. Thada batai darshan.... Hajur ta Patrakaar ko sathai CELL PHONE ko pani DEALER jasto cha ni?? Free minutes ko thulo 'prachar' cha ni????;)
NP
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| Yatree |
Posted
on 18-Nov-02 01:44 PM
NK wrote:
"... if ... you think you cannot live with that person even for a single moment ... then THAT is the time to get married."
Got it?
"... throwin' up might suggest some other ailment". Listen up man! Is she there yet? :)
Artha ko anartha lagayeko re kaya ajha ... (No offense hai, NK)
Wish your friend best of luck, he will certainly need it.
And tell him to learn about the finer words/points in life like: FINE, FIVE MINUTES, NOTHING, GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows), etc. (See Najar's thread FUN TIPS)
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| NK |
Posted
on 18-Nov-02 02:14 PM
Yatree, none taken. :)But the first sentence had a typo. An honest mistake. It should have been 'without' instead of 'with.'
I think M.P. should always be in bad mood. no?
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| Yatree |
Posted
on 18-Nov-02 03:02 PM
NK, I know it was a typo. Pheri pani jiskyaii diya nee :)
I forgot to write, but that was addressed to our Lonely man!
Now, to borrow from the other thread "WHAT IS MARRIAGE..EXPERTS OPINION" initiated by "kunni" Koko:
Concerning the Proper Age to Get Married.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
"Eighty-four Because at that age, you don't have to work anymore, and you can spend all your time loving each other in your bedroom."
-Carolyn, AGE 8
"Once I'm done with kindergarten, I'm going to find me a wife"
-Bert, AGE 5
:)
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| SimpleGal |
Posted
on 18-Nov-02 03:28 PM
Ashu-ji,
I really loved that article of yours! A good opposite to Vikram Seth's "A Suitable Boy" in title. It's good to read something from the other side of reality every now and then. :)Otherwise, us women are always mired in our own perspectives. And same goes for men.
I do hope you find your dream girl some day. But will caution you that Manisha, Madhuri, and Pamela are just ordinary women at the end of the day and the dimming of the limelight! :) Yes, I know your work was fictional, but that fascination for cinema beauties of young 20 something men gently hounded by parents to settle down is anything but fictitious, don't you agree?
In peace.
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| SITARA |
Posted
on 18-Nov-02 04:52 PM
Ashu ji....
Very interesting and tongue-in-cheek article indeed! You are a rational and cerebral man...( I am assuming..here! :); when your rationality and your gray matters stop dead in their tracks...And you know... you say! "Damn! this woman shares my views... in every which way! she takes me for who I am... She can argue her points gently and makes me argue my points gently, she brings the soft side of me....and I her strong side!!! This is one woman I can talk to with my senses, my intellect, my mind, my body, my soul...... and perhaps, I can allow her into my heart!!!!!!! " And you say "HIT ME baby one more time!!!!" :P
Hey, All in GOOD TIME....that is when the time is right.
NP, I agree about the offsprings!!! :)
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| lonely |
Posted
on 18-Nov-02 04:54 PM
Thank you everyone for responding.
M.P. ji,, by high-school I was refering to class 12, ahile Nepala +2 bhanchhan kya re .. I am not expecting general public to finish their high school fast ( after all this is just an average...ke kaso???)
Yo thread maile, aafu lai kahile right time hunchha bhanera start gareko haina. I just wanted to see what people thought of the so called right age, time for him or her.
Ashu, I really enjoyed your article. Its very close to reality...
NP ji kina testo nafrat ho marriage ma..and lawyers sanga....
Biruwa ji, is this really the right time???
M.P. ji malai kina Miss NGO thik hola jsto lagyo bhannus na...
Aani free weekend minutes ko use garna....east coast mai hunu parchha ra..ki sajhapur najikai bhanna khojnu bha ko ho..maile ta khas bhujina..ki koi dekhi saknu bhayo..malai thikka hune...re kya..
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| Logical Sense |
Posted
on 18-Nov-02 05:12 PM
Why so much fuss about marrying?
Just get married, whoever you see first!
Because, if your SPOUSE happened (50% chance) to be Battislakshan Le Youkta (goes for guys too) you will spend HEAVENLY Life.
But, if it so happens (rest 50%) that your SPOUSE is a DISASTER then you will become a PHILOSOPHER - you will contribute a lot to the Society.
So, either way just get married and get over with!
:]
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| M.P. |
Posted
on 18-Nov-02 05:30 PM
Illiteracy rate, adult total (% of people ages 15 and above) from 1980-2000
77.53700256 76.67700195 75.80799866 74.96399689 74.16500092 73.45400238 72.63800049 71.89099884 71.14900208 70.38200378 69.51999664 68.51300049 67.42900085 66.29599762 65.13999939 63.98300171 62.83200073 61.67900085 60.52799988 59.38600159 58.2480011
[source: World Development Indicators, the World Bank]
Illiteracy rate, adult total (% of people ages 15 and above) 2010
86.593803 [50% contribution Lonely ko :)]
19 Yrs upper limit holaa bhanthaaneko ta ajha 'average' po? Meraa napadhekaa baa-aamaa le ni ma 6 barsako hudaa ek class maa bharnaa gardyaa the yaar. "Lonely sikchhit bhayikana yesto?"
Tyo free weekend minutes ko chhai satire thiyo; bhujhiyena chha--khusi laagyo :) Bujheko bhaye mero ta sarbaswo dubthyo. Kaile kahi hajur le phone gardaa saathi haru laai "girl friend ko call ho" bhanera guff lagaauna ta bhaa chha :)
You said,"Yo thread maile, aafu lai kahile right time hunchha bhanera start gareko haina. I just wanted to see what people thought of the so called right age, time for him or her."
---Kina lajaairaa? Hajur ko man ko kuraa bujhna laai Trikal nai chhainna ni yaar :)
---Aile samma, everyone was talking about the right AGE. '[T]ime' chhai diuso nai thik holaa bihe garna :)
NP "brother",
Subha Aashirbaat.
19 barsa maa SLC ta timle NI pass garyaathyou kyaare hoina ?:)
NK ko Saahitya chhaai bujhina :(
Half-and-half,
M.P.
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| najar |
Posted
on 18-Nov-02 05:33 PM
Lonelyji,
picking up where P brothers (M.P an NP) left, you might want to subscribe sprint pcs service by which your minutes are not limited to east coast only--might give you more flexibility in getting started :)
Disclaimer: no, i am not a sprint agent :)
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| M.P. |
Posted
on 18-Nov-02 05:36 PM
Logical Sense,
Liked your posting. Euta US Congressmen le testai bhanyaa chha kyaare: 'Once you become a Congressmen, you will both ways. If you do good, you will secure a second term. If you can not do good, you can always write a book.'
Tara, tyo '32 lakchhen le yukta' hunu parne maa koi '31 lakchhen le maatra yukta' bhayo bhane ta 'yetaa na utaa, haatmaa jutaa' hunchha ni feri :)
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| Logical Sense |
Posted
on 18-Nov-02 06:09 PM
M.P.ji Good Catch.
I just left that part for people like you to ask question about :]
In reality (seriously speaking): Most of your spouses are anywhere between 1-31 Lakshan Le Yukta.
So, what to do?
Nepali Ma Bhanu Bhane - 'Milera Basana'
Angrejima Bhanda- 'Compromise'
Bollywoodma Ta - 'Adjust Kar Lenge'
That's the Best Mantra for Successful Conjugal Life!!!!!!
- iti
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| NP |
Posted
on 18-Nov-02 06:31 PM
M.P. “Brother”
Wow, I am impressed to see the figures you just threw up there.
‘Illiteracy’ rate- 86.593803 % by 2010:)
I am so much arrogant to see these big figures. Isn’t it true “bigger is always better”???;)
How about the increase in PCS users in the east? The increase/decrease rate might help us projecting the possible rate of cyber marriages in the east....lol. I just heard that more than 1500 employees are getting laid off :(
Aba..yo saal chai ma tuppi kasera SLC pass garchu..dai. Baru auta..I-20 pathaune ho ki? Hami pani Amrika ko Iskool ma panda man cha…!!!
Oohi Pyaaro Brother
NP
Sitara Ji,
Agree bhayeko ma dhanyabaad.
Lonely Ji,
Live free or die:)
Najar Ji,
Timi pani east...ani ma pani east. Cell ko free minutes haro sakna ajai dheki call haro suru garne ki;)
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| najar |
Posted
on 18-Nov-02 06:50 PM
Bhayi haalchha ni NPji, tara me no have cell phone --euta kindine ho malai?
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| isolated freak |
Posted
on 18-Nov-02 08:20 PM
anytime is right to get married.
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| lonely |
Posted
on 19-Nov-02 12:55 AM
M.P. ji
ke ho bhane mauka payo bhandaima dherai nabolnu bhanchhan re....
Aani Najar ji, I am already a member of sprint pcs, ...ke garum aaba bhanuus na??
NP ji le tapai lai cell kindeye pachhi ...hami sajha basi kura gaum la ni hunna???
NP ji kina ni live free or die??? are you trying to say married people are already dead???or they have no life???aali bhujaunus na..hajur...dimag aali badhi bodho chha kya.
Nindra le trip de sakyo..
aaru ..to be continued..
j bhane ni hunchha...last ma re kya
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| lonely |
Posted
on 19-Nov-02 08:49 PM
M.P. ji
Hajur ko ke chha...kina ho busy bhayera ho ki kya ho reply garnu bha chaina ni ???
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| miss_mixery |
Posted
on 20-Nov-02 09:41 AM
no such thing as the right time to get married. just get married when you think you are ready. dont just go with the flow that is social pressure....
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| NP |
Posted
on 20-Nov-02 09:52 AM
Lonely Ji,
Mero 'brother' M.P. dai ali busy hunuhuncha. So, wait few more days to get his reply.
Live free = live without wife
Die = Live with wife.
This is my opinion! In fact, I was never married, I am not married, and I will not get married:)
Clear???? So, I am gonna stick to my point: there's never a better time to get married.
Najar Ji,
Kun Cell phone kini diu ta? Need more ads! Tara... raat bhari kura garna chai paunna.... mero chadai sutnu parcha;)
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| lonely |
Posted
on 20-Nov-02 03:34 PM
NP Ji
if you are serious about staying all your life..not just in writing but in reality then....I don't have anything to tell you now cause you will definelty regret at a later point in life ..that for sure....
M.P. Ji ...
what are you upto these days, Thnaksgiving ma ke gardai hoisinchha ni???sewa garne mauka dine ho ki..you sewak lai???
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| SimpleGal |
Posted
on 20-Nov-02 03:48 PM
Lonely dai,
Kaha gayab hajur? MSN ma aunu paryo la chhito. Aaja balla balla ali kati fursad paiyya chha work/ishtudy bata...eso kuro garum na hunchha? :)
In peace.
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| najar |
Posted
on 20-Nov-02 06:46 PM
NP, malai ispeereent ko cell phone man parchha. Tehi kindinu bhaye hunchha. Tapain sanga diuso ma kura garaula, raati ma chahin aru sajha cell phone waala haru sanga, hunchha?
Lonelyji, sounds good. We can even do a sajha conference call :) how's that?
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| lonely |
Posted
on 20-Nov-02 07:09 PM
najar Ji
Sajha conference would be good....what r u doing for thanksgiving? Going to any places or simply staying at yours??? East coast tira aaune bichar chha ki re kya???
Simplegal Ji,
Ke ho kahile kahi ta furshad hudo raichha ni ......I will try to use cell ko late night minutes to call you aajha bholi ma la....
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