| raji |
Posted
on 29-May-01 08:35 AM
Evaluating the female society of the Victorian age, which
in many ways was the replica of our present one, Marry
Woolstonecraft, a famed feminist, comments, 'looking at
the present condition and thinking level of a woman in
society, it does not seem that they are mentally healthy.'
In the same way, we can say of our female society that it
is mentally obsessed.
"If a virgin girl desires to have sex with a person she loves
or feels deeply for, it is her desire. So the right to make a
decision whether to fulfill the desire or not also is hers.
Advice, ofcourse, can be offered if asked, but she must be
independent to decide, thinking of the consequences of
her own decision. There is no need for her to be guided or
restricted by social codes of conduct because it is
absolutely private and an individual right of hers. Whereas
if she has to be bound under the unnecessary rules to
even use such a right, it is nothing more than an insult,
and I don't think one has to observe those rules that
insults oneself", boldly says Sharmila Gurung (not her real
name), challenging the conventional ideology, an emerging
Nepali soap opera actress.
However the instances of such awareness is still rare in
our female society. Because of this unawareness, they
also lack a certain self-decision. So before using every
right of their own, they look towards the males just to
know their reactions. And if they find that men disagree
with their action, they immediately drop the idea. Their
inability to make a self-decision might come from the fact
that they've always found themselves only as the
daughters, sisters or wives of the male society, and never
recognized themselves as independent women. They never
allowed themselves to express their desire and taste. They
never dared to choose their own lifestyle.
However, either because of a growing consciousness of
feminism or because of the rapid development of all forms
of media, the rebellious voices against the conventional
ideology, regarding sex, are erupting in our societies, even
from the female side. Many of them are presenting
themselves as non-conformists, very individual,
freethinking and forward with a style of their own.
Representing the new voice that is gradually becoming
audible, Kumari Lama, a school teacher of 22, opines,
"Gone are those days when every groom would get his
bride with untouched virginity. Of course I would be
pleased to keep my virginity safe if my would-be husband
could really value it. But I know he won't because men are
never grateful. So, I don't want to sacrifice and later be
evaluated so cheaply and rudely."
The overall scenario is not hopeless anymore. If only the
existing consciousness of females multiply, so that the
vast number of ignorant and helpless women can come up
to their level of awareness.
Sex is not a sin. Sex is the subtlest and the most sublime
gift of nature. It enlivens the relationship and brings the
partners nearer to each other. If we do not degrade sex as
a means of earning money or getting some advantage out
of it, safe and healthy sex can never be bad - be it
pre-marital or marital. If we are honest with ourselves,
something new will come up to cope with the situation.
- Gopal Chandra Bhattarai
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