| HahooGuru |
Posted
on 25-Nov-02 04:26 AM
These days a lot of things are in pending in my schedule/dreams. Just sorting out what to give up and what not to give up?
Early morning, when I am pushing my car out of my apartment, I see young boys and girls in this cold winter, shivering their hand and bare legs in mini skirt, walking down the street to attend their classes? Al most every day I ask "man manai" "Do they know really where there are going?" Well, some nice guys will answer "Don't you see they are going to school?". Yes, I see them walking towards school? Is that the whole meaning of walking everyday morning in this cold winter and hot summer? Is that the whole meaning of going to school? Is that so much worth going to school everyday?
I was asking another Nepali friend here, when he said his eyes are not tired too much, and I asked him why don't you leave that 17" screen for sometime and take rest, do some other better things? His answer was "There is no any other things that better than this one?". That is the best thing he says he can do. Well, its the answer I guess I should extrapolate to the question I was asking to myself looking at the kids walking down the stree towards school.
Now I ask myself, why am I surfing everyday this Sajha.com? Do I know where am I going via Sajha.com? especially, when the 90% thread I initiate die even at infant stage, without having enough nuitrition? Why am I hanging, why can not I give up this sort of TRY that is not going to take me anywhere worth? There must be some good answer for this. Well, the answer is probably, I don't have any other thing better than this? So, all these things ask me, how dumb is world, that you attended school for so many years, waited so many red signals before it switches to green signals, and still, we feel (we means: including NK... she said she found she is at the same starting point) we are not going anywhere but, just confused and stucked where we started?
I need to get a better answer? Why despite knowing that the topic I throw here are not interesting to any of us, but, I am trying again and again in vain? Why ? Why? I am going to find answer to this question? Why can not I make a switch to some other better things? There are no better things in the world? Am I so dumb, I could not find anymore? Am I a poor guy, who can not afford some other thing because they are expensive? Am I a physically disabled person, whose fingers only work?
In the search of answer, I must Give up posting in this forum for sometime. Either I should find an option, or come up with better topics or give up everything for forever... I am so much worried that why peoples like to do same thing and don't feel it boring? Is that just illusion, and they are either addicted or they are forced to do it because of lack of options or alternatives?
I am now going to search some other alternative. I am alright, not mad. Might be a bit crazy, but, today morning when I read NK's posting "I am where I was at the start", has forced to me to rethink and analyze where was I and where am I now and where am I heading. ...lets wait, whether I can find any answer?
Ja Mata. (Aru Pachhi!?!)
HG
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