| Username |
Post |
| ashu |
Posted
on 02-Sep-00 07:19 AM
What follows is work of satire/fiction. This was published in The Kathmandu Post.
Enjoy this for what this worth!
oohi
ashu
**************
Excerpts from a Maobadi’s diary
-By Bhupendra Rawat
June 10. Ukhubari, Rolpa. Got up at six a.m. Squatting on a boulder, smoked a pack of Ganesh Bidis — sending thick, black air curling up to the sky. Enjoyed a delicious scratching of my favourite body parts. But recovered in time to salute Chairman Babu Ram Bhattarai (BRB) as he passed by my tent on his way to the toilet.
In his booming, chairman-ly voice, BRB inquired, "Ke chha, comrade?" I answered, "Thikai chha, hajoor". He flashed his Everest Toothpaste smile, and I was elated. Chopped wood in the afternoon. Listened to some latest ‘filmi songs’ on the All India radio. At night, sat around a fire with comrades, singing "We shall overcome, we shall overcome". Felt all warm and fuzzy, lovely and cuddly for hours afterwards. Today’s calorie intake: 3000.
June 21. Kapurkot, Salyan. Looted the local Krishi Bikas Bank. Burnt bundles of papers. Terrorized the neighbourhood. Fired well-aimed bullets at the enemy. Politely requested the people to keep their windows, doors and mouths shut. Comrade Damaru, alas, had to earn his martyrdom. Paid respects to his corpse by mutilating that of a slain hawal-daar. In anger, killed two other bystanders too. Blood, blood, everywhere.
Still, with dignified serenity, drew solace from the immortal words of Chairman BRB: "Never be afraid to kill and be killed. The masses will see that we are right in — oh, I don’t know, maybe — 20 years." Today’s calorie intake: just 200.
June 23. Kachila, Dang. Trying to wash shirts, pants and "patuka" was sheer hell. The stupid "dallay saboon" just doesn’t rinse off the dried-up blood. Wasted a good deal of the afternoon scrubbing and scrubbing the clothes. How I miss my dearest Radha Piyari ... slapping my undergarments against that slab of stone in Dumre gaun! Every speck of dirt would simply batter out. Anyway, assumed a civilian profile all day long.
Later, Comrades Bhala, Jwala, Chuwala and I hit a few bars in downtown Ghorahi. Needless to say, was all drunk by the time comrades started banging tables and singing "Ho, malai Nepali maya man parchha ..." Oh, man, we had so much fun tonight. Why is non-Mao Badi life so enjoyable? Today’s calorie intake: 700.
June 30. Torikhel, Jajarkot. Robbed a local Nepali Congressi bigwig of his ill-gotten wealth. Wailing in front of his wife and daughters, and clutching my leg, the idiot started begging for his life. Decided not to kill him. Felt like God in heaven. Killed his goats instead, and had a feast. Arranged the loot to be sent to the headquarters. Today’s calorie intake: 4500.
July 7. Nepalgunj, Banke. While eating dal-roti at Amar Bhojanalaya, was gripped by this terrible, terrible what-the-heck-am-I-doing-here feeling. I mean, who am I kidding with this Maoist shtick? Am I making the world a better place? Does Aama in Banepa still love me? Is Nepal Aama proud of me in any way? I wondered and I wondered. Or, should I just, while there is still time, give this all up, and sign up for a career in info tech in Kathmandu? What to do, and what not to do?
Chairman BRB, listen up, you moron. I need some serious career advice here, man. Also, not thrilled about the fact that I’ve lost 10 kilos in the last 35 days. Gotta keep up my muscular image. Today’s calorie intake: 800.
July 23: Sinkipur, Rukum. Stayed up late last night underlining key passages in "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Terrorists". At the meeting today, some comrades were not too happy about having to kill hawal-daars and the locals everywhere they went. Too messy, they complained. Others wanted more blood.
Then again, sitting in a corner, quietly scratching my favourite body organs, I thought to myself: Any Nepali who assumes power becomes corrupt. Such has been this country’s history. Will we be any different once we achieve power? Hearing Chairman BRB breathe fire against everyone else, I’d have to write, in all honesty, "Kunni". THE END
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| Biswo |
Posted
on 02-Sep-00 05:10 PM
This piece of humor is nice,but I have little
doubt about the informedness of the writer.
If I am not wrong,the Maoists don't have any
chairman.BRB is not Maoist chairman.
In this humor,you are inserting a political
bias,so the presentation style has been
sloganist.In stead of raising doubt about
Mr BRB's intention,you could have produced
fatigue factor, and repugnance to blood
to display the rebel's doubt about
revolution.
In displaying hedonist life style superior,
you have missed the point:that rebels are
often gritty, and motivated.The gory
statement
>>"Never be afraid to
kill and be killed. The masses will see that we are right in - oh, I don?t know, maybe - 20 years." Today?s
calorie intake: just 200.
displays your fictitious input to the
otherwise excellent humor.
I am impressed by your imagination of how
they take care of the blood stain sprayed in
their shirts.This statement is really nice:
>> June 23. Kachila, Dang. Trying to wash shirts, pants and "patuka" was sheer hell. The stupid "dallay
saboon" just doesn?t rinse off the dried-up blood. Wasted a good deal of the afternoon scrubbing and
scrubbing the clothes. How I miss my dearest Radha Piyari ... slapping my undergarments against that slab
of stone in Dumre gaun! Every speck of dirt would simply batter out. Anyway, assumed a civilian profile all
day long.
My feeling about humor is:it is not good to
install the element of humor by inserting
personal bias against anything,anybody or
any party.Specially not explicitly.You are
a knowledgeable writer,you can play around
with words easily,so instead of using direct
words like :
>>Chairman BRB, listen up, you moron. I need some serious career advice here, man. Also, not thrilled about
the fact that I?ve lost 10 kilos in the last 35 days. Gotta keep up my muscular image. Today?s calorie
intake: 800.
you can let the milieu speak.
I am pretty much impressed by your virtuoso
personality,man.I am also not a parsimonious
in expressing my appreciation,but I withhold
this to let people express themselves more
creatively.And I think that criticisms are the
best way to help people become more knowledgeable.
Biswo.
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| ashu |
Posted
on 03-Sep-00 07:30 AM
Dear Biswao-ji,
Thanks for your words. I appreciate them.
As for the humor, every reader is free to interpret it in any way s/he wants.
Again, many thanks for your comments on the article.
oohi
ashu
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| Biswo |
Posted
on 03-Sep-00 01:06 PM
Ashuji:
Take it easy.It is absolutely correct that people are free to interpret /expect a
specific kind of humor.
Your humorous articles are generally above
par.I enjoy them,man.Please keep on posting
them.I am pretty much sure you have huge
following here(!) and there(!).
Biswo
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| ashu |
Posted
on 04-Sep-00 10:08 AM
Dear Biswa-ji,
Yes, yes, please don't misunderstand me.
Please.
I am indeed taking it easy. I really
appreciate your comments and thoughts,
and enjoyed reading them. Thank you.
It's just that I post stuff in PUBLIC, taking the risks -- BOTH to be criticized
and to be appreciated. A writer, especially an amateur one like me, needs both to continue writing . . . So,thanks for your advice.
From time to time, I will surely post more of my and other Nepali writers' humor pieces for your collective enjoyment.
At this time, I would also like to urge other Boston Nepalis and friends to post their own thoughts and articles and views.
After all, the more the merrier. Let's all
pitch in -- at our own time and at our own
pace -- to help San and the Gang make this
Site a lively one!!
oohi
ashu
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| Biswo |
Posted
on 04-Sep-00 12:09 PM
San and the gang are doing great job by
providing platform for us to vent our
feelings.kudos.Though not a Bostonbasi, I
visited their website once, and am now a
regular visiter.
The challenge is to expand the viewerships,
and readership.I am sure the viewership of
this site remains strong, People are pretty
much reluctant to write something here due
to some uncanny reason.
At this moment, I want to express my great
appreciation of Hariji who not only tried to
test my statement for its veracity,but also
provided stimulations for me to look for
resources and become careful before posting.
We need such scrutinies direly.
I am looking forward to posting parts of my
fiction in this website.Problem is : I just
don't know if viewers like fiction at all!!
and if they are willing to provide insightful
criticisms.
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| oohi_ashu |
Posted
on 22-Oct-01 02:40 PM
Diary of a Maobadi
Salil, take a look at this one, and see whether this meets your criteria.
oohi
ashu
|
| GP |
Posted
on 22-Oct-01 10:28 PM
Biswo ji wrote:
In displaying hedonist life style superior,
you have missed the point:that rebels are
often gritty, and motivated.The gory
statement
...
I think what Biswo ji said is true, that they are
motivate. But, I doubt whether this motivation
is lasting, that is they really know what is going
on inside their group and consequences very well.
I mean whether they were full aware of things
what they are doing?
In this context, this is why crimes committed
by underaged peoples has less punishment than
by an adult. One more analogy, that we used to
hear in our old campus life. The smugglars in Nepal
don't like to send their kids to good schools because
they are afraid of their kids after getting education
know the truth and consequences and might deny any
involvment or continuation of his father's biz.
I am wondering with the large number of underaged
rebels both in jungle with rifles and in KTM with
Placard. Why this? Because I had seen old classmates
who were so agresive during campus life, had least
tolerance, have now left the old path, realized that
they did not know the things well, did not have
enough education.
So, the question here is are the majority (significant#) really educated:
what, why and for whom they are raising rifles or
placard. Well, there is another section who are forcefully
recruited: ~="KAR AND JARIBANA" by those placard
carriers in KTM. I did raised placard for Govind Raj Joshi,
and Nepal Teachers association (correct name?), but, I found
most of those in founding executive committee have
been indulged in corruption visibally or not visibally, whether
they were NC panel or Communist Panel. I regret my two
month long daily participation in the rallies. Would I have
participated, If I Knew that what they would turn out to be?
Its same thing happened with KTMduties who used to support
so much to Maoists, but, after the real face seen only last month
now Nepalnews.com's discussion forum hardly any countable
supporters who defend Maoists. Because they did not have
enough information, knowledge and experience.
Though Jarne Stroutstrap in his C++ book says, the
ANALOGY is FRAUD, but, myself working in mechanics for
years, will say that ANALOGY works all most all the time,
except few exceptions. Therefore, what Maoists are doing
with the help of arms is all wrong and will not last, whether
the faith of its cadres or the communism concept or Prachanda
Path. Only, the system lasts longer which is less energy gradient between
its components. Energy Gradient w.r.t. TIME as we know is
POWER, all systems in the universe tend towards Minimum energy
level. POWER TRANSFER and Information Transfer in communism
is under undrained condition, and therefore, hardline communism
does not last long if power input from Gun ceases. Only open system,
free society can last long, of course, it has to pass through
various local minima and maxima, i.e. with time, where inertia
is prime moving factor. There we do not have external source reservoir
nor we have dissipiating TANK, but, have internal redistribution.
Power hungers: they feel it as a stagnant system.
Jai Nepal.
GP
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