| Username |
Post |
| deep |
Posted
on 27-Nov-02 10:11 AM
Bullet
(please correct obvoius errors as you read.
Pokhiyeka bhawanaharu hun...
samhalinu aghinai....
Chhatachulla bhayeko huna sakchha
Samhalna feri khojda...
After 10 years, I was walking on the same street I used to walk at least twice a day at some point in my life. As I was walking down the street, my heart started to pound faster and faster. It was useless for it pound the way it was pounding now but I was failing to control my weather like heart. I could see my chest being drummed out through my t-shirt.
There were bunch of kids playing on the street. Stray dogs were patrolling the street as their seniors used to. I used to play guchcha, langurburza, aas paas, tel kasha, khari kasa, tu kataune, ke ke ho ke ke on this very street. I went back in time and felt that I was in paradise.
Now I was feeling like this was not the place I grew up with. This part of the town then looked very different when I was growing up. I did not grew up with these black paved streets, shops in almost all street-facing houses, kids talking about foreign (no not just Hindi) movies, computer games, modeling ani yastai ke ke ho. I just passed a chibahal. Now, this chibahal among many other things must have witnessed me grow. This was one of my favorites chibahals. I used to hide behind this chbahal in my aas paas days. Now, few Marlboro smoking kids were sitting by the same chibahal and were talking about how hot the bay-watch babes 're. "Oho!? Kahile aa dai?" one of the kids asked with smoke. I did not who he was but answered anyway, "ek dui din bho" then I also pushed a machine question at them, "ke chha ni timiharuko hal khabar?" This time another dude took my question and spoke, 'bawal chha ni deepdai". Now, I was sure these dudes know me. But I was still thinking, "Who are these dudes?"
I approach an old pati. This paty and I know each other pretty well. I just felt this old paty is happy to see me back. We were like old friends meeting after a long time. My heart thought, perhaps the paty is saying "ke chha deep, long time no see". I just smiled and kept looking at it with great affection. I have spent countless evenings hiding in it. I also vividly remember drawing and scratching lines on many bricks of this paty. There were couple of bricks I could take out and draw tiny lines on the other side of the bricks and insert them back to save them from scratching friends so I could count them (lines) all later to be a khari kasa winner. I tried to locate those loose bricks. I spotted, I thought, those and tried to pull them out but they didn't budge. I tried couple of more. None of them came out. I guess either they were not the same bricks or they were fixed. I missed those tiny lines on those bricks. I said to myself, " I wish I could see those broken-brick- piece-drawn lines once again."
Now, I was standing in front of that lamppost. This lamppost is very dear to me. Once I had left a love letter to my dream girl in a hole on that lamppost. She was looking at me from her compound gate one cold evening and I stuck my lover letter for her in that hole after briefly looking at her. I hoped she would get the signal and pick it up later. I could not gather enough courage to walk upto her and deliver my words from the heart to her hand. I still remember a "poem" I had written to her in that love letter,
"Oodeko baadal jasto haina yo man,
bahakiyeko bhawana ma timro,
Baseko murti jasto ho yo man,
bichalit bhakto kalpanama prabhuko,
Sanjha ko deep jasto haina yo man,
Andhakar ma farkine kshanbhar pachhi,
Sugandha jasto ho mero man samarpanma timro,
Failirahane nivera dhup gaisake pani.."
...
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| deep |
Posted
on 27-Nov-02 10:11 AM
I guess, too much bhajans at home and in those paties were influencing my thought then. She did not come to pick up the letter. I waited for few more minutes hiding behind a house. She went inside, instead, and shut the gate shattering my hope. It rained later in the evening. I came to my room with a heavy heart. Next morning, I saw few wet torn papers scattered around the lamppost base.
My legs stopped even though I wanted to move on. I was standing right in front of her compound gate, now. Her eyes had talked with mine many times in those days from that entrance. I was determined not to look at the gate but before I could press on, my eyes revolted and looked at it. The black metal gate was shut. Somehow, I got disappointed. What for? I don't know.
Five years ago, it was around 10 o'clock, Central Standard Time, at night and I was watching TV. Niraj, my apartment mate, was in the kitchen. I felt bored and thought of calling a friend of mine back home in Nepal. I did. We talked for about 15 minutes. I felt good then right before he hung the phone up he said, "by the way deep, bullet got married yesterday". I was sunk then. Totally sunk. I hung up the phone without saying anything. I was looking at the TV but my mind was like that lost desert traveler in a sandstorm. My mind flew back to a tiny neighborhood thousands of miles away and was rewinding and playing back the best days of my life. I could not believe bullet got married. "ye deep…la yo pyaj kaat ta", Niraj broke the chain. "lagi ra chha", I was angry at him for no fault of his. He probably couldn't believe my tone so he came out of the kitchen to take a look at me. "ke bho talai?", he softly asked. "kei na kei", I also tried sound normal. "ani kina jharkya ta?" He asked again. I looked at him. "bullet le bya gari re yaar". He didn't get it. I briefed him about my bullet and told him a short story about my bullet and me. After the story, he said, " Ye…uso bhe tero bhangeri love ko chapter hijo sakiyo…la aaija ta pyaj katna aba."
My "bullet" used to stand at this black gate. Ma darshan payera dhanya hunthe. But the door is shut today. In fact it was shut for me many years ago.
With heavy heart I moved on. I went to a temple standing nearby and sat on a step there facing her house and that black shut door.
I came there with a hope to see her. I knew I was nobody for her but she still was a reflection of my priceless memories. I was not there to claim her. I just wanted to see her, as a flower petal probably would love to see dewdrops on it. Not to possess but to enjoy.
Before returning to my new neighborhood, I once again went to the same lamppost and looked at the hole there. As I was about to drift back in those lovely days, I heard a familiar voice from behind, "deep dai, kahile aaunu bho…. " I sharply turned back, "aba tyaha "dhup" "deep" kehi pani chhaina…deepdai" Mrs. Bullet spoke with celestial smile holding a baby on her arms.
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| sparsha |
Posted
on 27-Nov-02 11:55 AM
feeeeeri.....
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| deep |
Posted
on 27-Nov-02 02:53 PM
? ke bho?
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| deep |
Posted
on 28-Nov-02 11:12 AM
I guess this is the time for me to say good bye as well.
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| Arnico |
Posted
on 28-Nov-02 11:26 AM
great story!
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| astha |
Posted
on 28-Nov-02 11:52 AM
Ya..................This is what LIFE IS.........Eachday comes as new lesson!
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| oys_chill |
Posted
on 28-Nov-02 12:18 PM
Deep dai,
to be honest this is one of the best stories i have read from you..not that others weren't good......and it was not because it was bout a gal..jus that the way you have paved yor memory back..............aang nai ziring ziring...
Great story keep em coming! One oys thought before i meet trikal:P
"Experience is not what happens to you but rather what you do with what happens to you" re kya ajha last ma ;)
oys......time to go the lamp post i guess:P
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| najar |
Posted
on 28-Nov-02 01:27 PM
Deeeep, Nooooo don't say goodbye....we are all thoroughly enjoying it; not writing a comment does not mean you are doing a bad job. The story is refreshing, reminiscing and crisp, just as it was when you first launched!
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| deep |
Posted
on 28-Nov-02 02:19 PM
Friends,
When I ran through this story at work yesterday, I was struggling to keep pace with my memory. It was a slow day, sort of, at work and a thought took me back…wayyyyy back and reminded me the days that I have left, for good, in that small neighborhood in kathmandu many many years ago. Since I was racing with this sensitive story, at least to me, I knew for sure that there will be many errors in writing (not in the content though). Sure enough, there are many spelling and grammar errors. And as I was writing, I had to go to complete a project. So, I hurriedly ended the story and posted it without revision. I am not dropping any excuses for my errors. I take full responsibility about what I write and apologize for the poor presentation.
Since I saw no one responding (positive..negative..neutral), I felt sad. I probably felt a deep sadness because the story is so close to me. I can't ask you guys to write comment on my story because you guys are free to choose whether to write any comment or not but I would appreciate if you could drop few honest words. If no one cares what I write then why bother? I thought.
Feeerii ta yastai ho....
Arnico, Thanks. I couldn't present as nicely as I wanted to.
Astha, Life is as they say "karkala ko pani". Ahile chha ahile chhaina. Somedays come with many lessions. More than I want to learn and somedays...khaderi lagya jasto lagchha...lessions ma pani.
Oys_, thanks. you might have seen that black compound gate but why would you notice right? But when I am there that's one of those things that I notice first whether I want or not.
Najar.....Thank you for your nice words. I guess your words reflect your kind personality. I am glad to address you.
Happy thanksgiving to you all - if you guys care that is.
Once again apologies for the spelling/grammar errors in the story and thanks for understanding.
Deep
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| Sangey |
Posted
on 28-Nov-02 02:30 PM
Deep, another beautiful arrow from your magic quiver, and even sharper it is.
I hope you are not thinking of putting a stop on publishing your original writings here in Sajha. While there are other posters who will keep this Kurakani moving with their pieces about teeny-boppers wanting thongs over panties, Manisha Koirala entropy, poetic revolution, gyawali evolution, butt-washing vs butt wiping, and what not, your stories are in a class of its own. It will be disappointing not to see your name in the "originated by" column.
Sangey
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| Biruwa |
Posted
on 28-Nov-02 02:47 PM
Prem garnu:
prem garyou bhane either you will be married happily ever after
or you will be come a sayer bhanthe!
Deep chai ne sayer baye cha.
I don't know whether it is good for deep but it definately good for sajhabasis and the whole world !
:-)
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| vivid |
Posted
on 28-Nov-02 03:13 PM
Deep ji,
Actually I am a silent reader in this sajha and really a fan of your postings(to be honest).
When you wrote, 'I guess this is the time for me to say good bye as well', I only related it to the story and thought you missed out that part of saying good bye to your loved one and wanted to let go of the past for the upbringing of a better future ahead, but alas when I came to know of the truth behind it, I was taken aback.
One thing, I would like to assure you is that though there are no responses you can always look at the 'times viewed 'and be sure that your stories are being read by silent readers like myself.
Letting go of your beloved is also an expression of great devotion.
Gaining leads you to stagnation while letting go keeps you in motion.
That may be the reason we are able to read such stories in sajhapur(Ki kaso deep ji?)
Regards!
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| deep |
Posted
on 28-Nov-02 09:10 PM
Sangey,
It is great to see you here with your encouraging words. I don't write to impress anyone. I neither have any aspiration, as of now, to be a professional writer. I enjoy sharing my thoughts and memories here in sajha. However, if people are annoyed with my writings then I thought I should have this much decency to respect the interest of sajhaites. Words like yours mean a lot to me- not because they are positive but they acknowledge my sharing. I would rather pleasantly take 100 words of honest criticism than few words of false praise.
I will come back to address other comments from respected readers, tomorrow. I’ve got to go now. Goodnight all!
deep
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| deep |
Posted
on 29-Nov-02 07:55 AM
Biruwa,
Love has nothing to do with marriage. Love is the time and Marriage is nothing but a juncture.
Malai pani sayar bhandini ho bhane sayarhaurlai nai chahi ke bhanne ni...... :-)
sakkali sayarharuko man bhachiyela feri...
Thanks, Biruwa.
Vivid,
I never wanted to possess her. So, there was no questions of letting her go. My devotion to her was there yesterday and stands firm, as it used to, today as well. However, the way I used to look at her has changed now. Yesterday, she was not a wife but today she is. So, my devotion to Miss bullet reamains the same but my devotion to Mrs. Bullet is undefined. I don't ponder on that.
Thank you for showing your interest on my writings. I am pleased to note your words of encouragement.
Good day!
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| KaLaNkIsThAn |
Posted
on 29-Nov-02 09:37 AM
Deep Jyu,
Padhe padhe maile ni padhe, Khatara cha la... la pass bho.
aba, katti deep jyu le hallayo bhanne hagi? I am thinking about some new term to appreciate your work. I don't seem to come up with anything new but, HALLAAYOOO... Deep jyu le HALLAYO... once again!!
You know how much I like your work. And I am sure, everybody likes it and reads it.
Aru ni jaaawosh brother...
extended bullet jaawosh!!
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| deep |
Posted
on 29-Nov-02 10:27 AM
Hos gara….
Nabahakau hawaharu chhachalkai timra yauban haru
Na almalau saanjharu thatharkai timra oothharu
Najiskau chalamaliyeka chahanaharu hirkai timra najarbanharu
Nalagau yaha aago haru bhela garera chhariyeka timra swikarharu
Nabahakau hawaharu chhachalkayi timra yaubanharu
Nasamjheu birseka basanaharu farkai timra smritiharu
Naalmalau saanjhharu thatharkai timra oothharu
Nabhadkau dadheloharu jhakjhakai feri ti jwalaharu
Najiskau chalmaliyeka chahanaharu hirkai timra najarbanharu
Nasamjheu birseka basanaharu farkai timra smritiharu
Nadeu chunautiharu jatatatai chharera timra aahwan haru
Nalagau yaha aagoharu bhela garera chhariyeka timra swikarharu
Nakhoja rokna aandhiharu bolayera timra ghaite unmadharu
Nabahakau hawaharu chhachalkayi timra yauban haru
Nabahakau hawaharu chhachalkayi timra yauban haru…
Hos gara…..
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| Hamjayega |
Posted
on 30-Nov-02 10:14 AM
Deep bro,
I too m a slient reader of your wonderful stories..Again you hv done it! Great story.No matter whoever and where ever we are.. your stories often strikes those major chords of our emotional beings. Pls dont say quits..keep on posting.
I remain yours..diehard reader
A welwisher
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| Nepe |
Posted
on 30-Nov-02 09:31 PM
Yet another Deepesque story. Unadultereted and pure delight. Smooth flow, gripping, great for its simplicity, universal theme assembled with local ingredients, and Deep knows how to end the story and leave his readers keep thinking about it.
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| Biswo |
Posted
on 01-Dec-02 12:16 AM
Deepji,
Please don't even think about 'stopping' to write. You have to understand that fans like me look for your story when they have some time to relax.
Yet another good story I read in this weekend!
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| deep |
Posted
on 01-Dec-02 12:56 PM
Kalanki, Hamjayega, Nepe, Biswo and many other silent readers,
Thank you.
Pardaina dina kunai mala phoolko
samarthan wa birodh sabda ma bachne haina
dherai choti tara sabdale bhawana bokne huda
khojido rahechha sabdalai sayad hatariyaera hoki - wa
dristi bina ko drisya khai ke drishya bhanera ho....?
good day.
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| SITARA |
Posted
on 01-Dec-02 04:00 PM
Deep ji
And yet again you have done it ! Wonderful story...as always your fan!
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| deep |
Posted
on 02-Dec-02 08:19 AM
Sitara sarkar,
achel chiso chiso chha....fyan bhanda baru hitar ko jugad garna paye huni..
:-)
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| kalankisthan |
Posted
on 02-Dec-02 10:25 AM
Aaaanch..... Deep jyu le kyaa di ra,
Teri ishi ada pe deep jyu, haami pani ta hazur ko "makkal" bha chau ni... Euta gokul dhup pani haalum ki makkal ma?? ani ta "makkal" ma sugandha bhai haalcha ni....
re kya ajha laast ma!!
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| SITARA |
Posted
on 02-Dec-02 11:56 AM
Deep ji
Cold cold hands...warm warm heart!
chiso chiso phyan... nyano nyano breeze
:)
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| Deep |
Posted
on 02-Dec-02 12:06 PM
Cold cold hands...warm warm heart!
chiso chiso phyan... nyano nyano breeze
Devi Sitara
tyo mathi ko ni thikai chha...ani yaso bhaye kaso hola?
nyano nyano sparsha....pyaro pyaro heart!
cold cold coke....nyano nyano preet!
aba tyo cold cold hands le ali villian khelyo ke....baki ta thikai ho....ani chha ni breeze ta malai chiso chiso nai man parchha ...nyano nyano breeze ta uhi ooth hudai chaleko mattai ramro lagchha malai ta...ramo ram!
:-)
;-)
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| jira |
Posted
on 02-Dec-02 12:09 PM
Deep! could not resist making a comment. Ramro cha. tyo ni khoobai ramro paila paila ko jastai. Aha..asaddhey ramro. Jindagi ma Prem nagareni aruley prem gareko sunda sarrai ramawuney ma pheri khusi bhaye sarkaar ko katha padhera. Prem garya chaina bhanda yahi janmya bhey malai najaneey haru lay nerd bhanthey holan, ali bujhney harulay rehab ma rakhera Therapy nai thokthey holaan.. Tara being born Nepali citizen, I have been lucky not to get these treatment so far..
Aba ta tyo miss bullet bata charrrra haru ni ta niskey holan ni ek dui wata!!
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| Deep |
Posted
on 02-Dec-02 01:04 PM
Thanks for the comment jira......(birsya chhaina maile....jiraDAI bhanam...? la bhaigo aaja lai)
;)
Dhumba khai ta? bepatta?
Ms. Bullet....ummmm.....aba ta feri ke kura garai bho ra?
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| DHUMBASSE (DUMBASS) |
Posted
on 02-Dec-02 01:17 PM
Ma ni yetai chu...maile pani padhi...malai ni ramro lagyo..aba thanksgiving parya bhera ali bahiraphera ga thi...uhi ta ho ni busy kya busy...la Deep dai le Ghurki cahhi ramro diyo tya mathi...dai ta ghurkyauna ra surkyauna atti khalli rahicha..
tara yeuta kura ni deep dai...
timile sajha lai jatti chode pani huncha..tara jaba samma sajhale timlai chodaina...timile jatti kosshis gare pani kyai lagdaina...
kina bhane timilai sajha lagya ke...tyo ganja lagya jasto...lagepachi jatti kagati khau...choddai choddaina...kya..time bhe pachi bistarai choddai jancha...hehe :)
La!! baru phataphat lekhna thalau...post garna thalau...hunnna? yesai bhayena usai bhayena...ke garchau dai yo dui dine jindagaima..."Karkalako pani' ko barema ta ramrari thaha rahicha ta...
La malai pani sano lekhna man lagyo..
Lekhi rakha, lekhi rakha sajha aafno thani
Dui dinko jindagi ho karkalako pani...
jay shambhooooooo!!
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| Deep |
Posted
on 02-Dec-02 01:35 PM
Dhumba dai le yo:
"Lekhi rakha, lekhi rakha sajha aafno thani
Dui dinko jindagi ho karkalako pani... "
Basudev Munaldai le chalaune Bal Karyakram (5:30 tira aamthyo kyare) ko "ko bhanda ko kam" bhanne ma pathako kabita ho? tyasma fas bhako re ho dhumba dai?
aba Dhumbadai le dhamadham bhanera mattai bhayena....maile arko pani lekhi sake "Kati Wata Rey" bhanne thread...jiradai ta aayera ni gaisake....kya....
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| Polite |
Posted
on 02-Dec-02 02:17 PM
Deep:
Wow! I really enjoyed your nostalgic memory -- really hearttouching.
It's been a while since I have been reading threads in Sajha, but this is the first time I am actually posting my opinion. I have noticed, among some very good writers in Sajha, you are one of them. Your ability to pour words out and make a writing presentable is excellent. I respect your feeling towards Ms. Bullet and your devotion towards Mrs. Bullet -- two different personalities yet the same!
I am looking forward to read new episodes of your memoirs and creation.
Keep up! :-)
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| Deep |
Posted
on 02-Dec-02 02:46 PM
Polite,
Most of my writings are based on my personal experience. The new thread 'kati wata rey" that I introduced today is also from my memory. The incident is true.
About Miss. Bullet, she is the most beautiful personality I have ever come across so far. She will reside in my heart as long as it beats. Mrs. Bullet has no special place in my heart as such but enjoys immense respect from me. Yes, Miss and Mrs.Bullet are the same person yet totally different. I don't want to be with Mrs. Bullet-never. But with Miss Bullet?-anyday.
I am not stuck in the past, though. No! I have moved on. But my memories are not written in a blackboard where I run an eraser and erase everything and write something over or leave it blank. I have created more space, however, for more writings.
Thank you for your words.
deep
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