| batauli |
Posted
on 05-Dec-02 02:36 AM
found floating in emails...
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There are some wise guys who know why things are the way they are. One such guy was Murphy, who first told the world the obvious - 'Anything that has to go wrong, will.' Consequently, if you do not have that dream job/woman/man/house/car, just lay back and blame it on Murphy's Law. Murphy says 'Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won't either.' Agree? Read on to discover words of wisdom and work on these for a better (sex) life. Results guaranteed!
1. The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings.
2. Nothing improves with age.
3. No matter how many times you've had it, if it's offered take it, because it'll never be quite the same again.
4. Sex has no calories.
5. Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.
6. There is no remedy for sex but more sex.
7. Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got.
8. No sex with anyone in the same office.
9. Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last.
10. A man in the house is worth two in the street.
11. If you get them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.
12. Virginity can be cured.
13. When a man's wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him.
14. Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.
15. The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can't stand years later.
16. Sex is dirty only if it's done right.
17. It is always the wrong time of month.
18. The best way to hold a man is in your arms.
19. When the lights are out, all women are beautiful.
20. Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won't either.
21. The game of love is never called off on account of darkness.
22. It was not the apple on the tree but the pair on the ground that caused the trouble in the garden.
23. Sex discriminates against the shy and the ugly.
24. Before you find your handsome prince, you've got to kiss a lot of frogs.
25. There may be some things better than sex, and some things worse than sex. But there is nothing exactly like it.
26. Love your neighbour, but don't get caught.
27. Love is a matter of chemistry; sex is a matter of physics.
28. One good turn gets most of the blankets.
29. Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
30. It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
31. A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the women he couldn't.
32. It is better to be looked over than overlooked.
33. Beauty is skin deep; ugly goes right to the bone.
34. Never go to bed mad, stay up and fight.
35. Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
36. All the good ones are taken.
37. If the person isn't taken, there's a reason. (corr. to 1)
38. The nicer someone is, the farther away (s) he is from you.
39. Brains x Beauty x Availability = Constant.
40. The amount of love someone feels for you is inversely proportional to how much you love them.
41. Money can't buy love, but it sure gets you a great bargaining position.
42. If it seems too good to be true, it probably is.
43. Availability is a function of time. The minute you get interested is the minute they find someone else.
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