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| M.P. | Posted
on 27-Dec-02 02:21 PM
Dear readers, What follows is the editorial from the New Year Special Issue of the Sinking Nepal monthly. This editorial was written in a hurry. Please correct both grammatical and structural errors as you read. Happy 2003! Misunderstood Poet Editor-in-chief The Sinking Nepal December 27, 2002 ______________________________________________________________ In this issue: Shuttle from Bryn Mawr: Who Says Beautiful Girls Are Not Intelligent? On Computer Major Update Oxford Sucks! Narayanhity Maa Pujaa Chha Re: Bholi Bidaa How Many Mistakes Can a Man Make in a Day? The Absentees List Shuttle from Bryn Mawr: Who Says Beautiful Girls Are Not Intelligent? There is a real disadvantage of going to good schools: you hardly get to see beautiful girls. I do not mean to over-generalize but most of the girls I know are either intelligent or beautiful but not both. As a matter of fact, the male: female ratio in my college is 49:51 and still, I often have to stay in the dining hall from 11:30 am to 1:15 pm [that’s the time allotted for lunch in my college] to start my day with the sight of a good face. So selective people like me often go to Bryn Mawr during weekends. I have been there two weekends. Not that Bryn Mawr is a third-tier college but something new is always good, you know! On one of those weekends, I was on my way back to my college when I encountered with this both beautiful and intelligent girl [wait a minute, I am not sure if she is really beautiful. She had put a lot of make up. So I did not see her actual face]. Intelligent in the sense that she knew as much about Nepal as I did, if not more. From the Maoist problem to royal massacre, she ‘recited’ everything as soon as I said I was from Nepal. It was kind of unfortunate that I could not impress her with my ‘political talent’; she never let me speak throughout the half-an-hour journey. I made a very important inference that day: some beautiful girls are also intelligent but are usually very talkative. How does that sound? |
| M.P. | Posted
on 27-Dec-02 02:23 PM
On Computer: Three things I can never give up: alcohol, music, and computer. Lately I have been spending a lot of time with the computer. The sad thing is I am getting too distracted from my studies. As soon as I sit on my chair, my hands unconsciously reach the mouse and before I realize what I am doing, the internet explorer opens. I can never read sitting in front of the computer. This past semester I was supposed to read 12 books for my political science course. I hardly finished eight of them. Reason for this slack is simple: I was too lazy to drag my ass to the library. And I told you what happens if I stay in the room and try to study, didn’t I? I was considering selling my ‘black beauty’ when a friend of mine came up with a brilliant solution to my problem. Next semester, I am going to scan all my books, make pdf files and keep them on my computer. Hopefully it wont be that hard switching from internet explorer to pdf files. Let me tell you, switching from internet explorer to paper books was really tuff. Major Update I have been changing my mind too often these days, particularly regarding my major. There is an all-rounder senior in my college who has been rejected a job by more than 15 companies. Tragic, isn’t it? More tragic than this is the fact that I am majoring in the same courses as he did—Economics and public policy. I find this depressing. What am I going to do with a bachelor’s degree if I do not get a job? If I have to wrap hamburgers in some McDonald after 2 years, why should I study now? I once considered going back to Nepal, to Arghakhanchi, and constructing a hospital there. I mean all by myself. The plan was feasible. Sadly, I would have to live 98 years [let me know if you are interested in knowing how I got this figure]. And that’s almost 40 years more than the average life expectancy in Nepal. I have been surviving on Top Ramen and bread for the last few days. I do not think I am going to live that long with this diet. So the plan is cancelled. Lately I am thinking of majoring in Firefighting, the most lucrative job in the US these days. Oxford Sucks! A young cute girl from the UK, whom I have known for the last three years, wrote to me yesterday and said she got into Oxford. I congratulated her. Deep within, I was like ‘damn it! Some community college in the US would have been better than Oxford.’ Not that I do not like Oxford. In fact, I do contemplate going there sometime during my academic career. But the main thing is I am not getting a party! She is not coming to the US to throw a party for me, is she? Oxford sucks! [PS: Neither suspicion nor wrong inference is allowed here; it is more like a dai-bahini relationship] |
| M.P. | Posted
on 27-Dec-02 02:24 PM
Narayanhity Maa Pujaa Chha Re: Bholi Bidaa Nepalese have more festivals than the number of days in year. So a saying goes. The person to start this saying must have been much more farsighted than Prithvi Narayan Shah, the jijubaa of our never-learnt-to-smile king Gyanendra. However the saying is slightly misleading. We do not count every ‘ekaadasi’, ‘dwaadasi’, ‘purnima’ etc. as a festival, do we? The person would have rightly claimed credit had he put ‘holidays’ instead of ‘festivals’. We do have more holidays than the number of days in a year. Since I am so interested in holidays, I might as well write a PhD thesis on ‘Holidays in Nepal.’ The beginning part of the thesis, classification of the holidays in Nepal, would then be something like: Bandh Holidays: This shall include all bandhs, not necessarily organized by the Maoists and its sister organizations. The Maoists shall determine the number. Birthday Holidays: This shall include birthdays of all members of the palace. The ‘member’ here embraces all living beings inside the palace that are being ‘fed’ by the people. This category will also include the birthdays of people like Puspa Lal Shrestha, Madan Bhandari, and B.P. Koirala, whose ideologies have always been extolled but never followed. The palace shall determine the number of holidays for this category [provided the palace does not ask for extra fund just to decide on the number of holidays]. Festival Holidays: Teraibasis shall have at most 4% of the total number of holidays in this category for their Chhath or whatever. Women shall have 4% for their Teej, Swasthani, et al. This category shall include Dashain, Tihar, Chaite Dashain, Raamnawami, and Falgun 3 (in places like Rolpa and Rukum where the Maos do not allow celebration of Dashain and Tihar and enforce Falgun 3 as a holiday instead). The puppet government shall determine the number of holidays in this category after receiving the ‘to do list’ from its master! Emergency Holidays: I have a feeling that being loyal Nepalese we have not respected our king enough, therefore included this category in the list of national holidays. This category shall include royal visits in and out of the country especially for health check ups (since being a royal member increases your chances of getting ill, or of developing a desire to go to the UK--to be more specific, by almost 100%). Miscellaneous Holidays: Remember I have not talked about the Chakkaa Jams! They fall in this category. This category shall also include ‘school diwas’, prajaatantra diwas (we don’t really care about it, do we?), mrityu diwas, and so on. Are 365 days going to be enough for all these holidays? Think about it tomorrow. Tomorrow is a holiday; there is a Pujaa at Narayanhity! |
| M.P. | Posted
on 27-Dec-02 02:25 PM
How Many Mistakes Can a Man Make In a Day? There is a popular joke about an absent-minded person who goes to a doctor and says, “Doctor, I forget things quickly. Do you have a cure for this disease?” The doctor asks, “So what are some of the other symptoms of your disease?” The absent-minded guy responds, “Which disease?” These days, I am like the absent-minded guy. My brother often sends email reminders to ask me to call home; I often forget to take completed paper to class on the due date; and I frequently lock my key in my room. Funniest of all, I have a diary that my college game me [hey, I am not the only absent-minded person in my college; I have even seen some professors coming out of the bathroom with their zippers open. Male professors though L.] and I forget the diary! It was one of the light-saving-time-changing days. Remembering to change the time was a great achievement in itself. Despite conquering such a big task, I made three really stupid mistakes the same day [how about putting this on the list of ‘miscellaneous holidays’ above?]. Here is how: 1) I had a friend from another college as a guest at my place that day. I need a key to get into both my dorm and my room. Since my friend was there and since my room is on the ground floor, I left the key with my friend. I was planning to knock on the window and to tell my friend to open the main door for me when I came back. I left my work a little early and came back to my dorm and knocked on the window. Nobody responded for a while. It was very cold and standing outside was like taking a cold shower in January. A little pissed of at my friend, I started banging the window harder. Someone finally responded. But to my surprise, it was not the friend I was expecting. I was banging on the window of my next-door neighbor. I pissed off one of the few beautiful girls in my college. Damn it! 2) The dryers in my dorm are from World War I. Clothes do not dry unless you keep them in the drier for 2 or 3 half-an-hour cycles. I usually come every half an hour and keep adding quarters until the clothes are dry [I usually do not check after the first half an hour]. That day, I was thinking of the ‘window-incident’ while going down to the laundry room. As usual, I did not check if the clothes had dried since it was the first cycle. I put in the quarters and went back to my room. When I came back after another half an hour and opened the drier, I realized that I had added quarters to a drier someone else was using. I wasted NRs 40 [I convert dollars to rupees when I really regret something]. 3) I hardly complete my assignments on time. Especially the papers take me more than the number of days/hours allotted. Again, I am not the only person in my college having this problem. I know at least three people who never finish their work on time and have individual strategies to convince the professors. This light-saving-time-changing day was a special day for me. I had finished my paper almost 24 hours before the due time. Excited about my ‘life time achievement’, I put the paper on my drawer [that’s where everything—my passport, I-20, credit card bills, pens and pencils, stapler, photo album, and my academic papers—squeeze in] and called up a few of my friends to tell them I had finished the paper. Next day, I took the paper to the class and submitted it to the professor before anyone else. I received an email from the professor in the evening. I had submitted the wrong paper. The paper I was supposed to submit was right there in my drawer. The last line of the professor’s email read “Good trick! I hope you have finished your paper now.” Hey, I never knew this trick before. Dumb I am. The Absentees List: The following correspondents have been missing from the Sinking Nepal publication lately. If you have seen them around, please contact Mukti Kendra, Lagankhel. 1) Harvard-tosh Tiwari [Harvard correspondent] 2) Purba Paschim [Reporter for Bhutan, Taiwan, Vietnam, and Chitwan] The following Republicans are hereby called for the meeting of the National Republican Sangh on New Year’s eve: 1) Biswo [some call him Mao II] 2) Truckendra Kumar Bhagat [Terai correspondent] 3) Nepe [Mohan Bikram II; goes underground time and again] Miscellaneous Reporters Missing from the Publication: 1) Dilasha [must be planning some ‘extravaganza’] 2) Etc. ãMisunderstood Poet December 26, 2002 |
| forget-me-not | Posted
on 27-Dec-02 03:43 PM
M.P. Ji RAmro lagyo..yesto bidha ma kaa nabhako bela ma it was good to read this....its really good and well presented.... Tapai le aafno major sachai change garne bichar garnu bho ki kya ho??? Nepal aama le aauta gatilko neta pauni bhayinke bhanthaneko thiye.....don't disappoint us.. Aani aaru bibhinna kura post garnu hola.. I liked the way you expressed about beauty and brain...beauty and brains in most cases are not together..my friend used to say..that god to justify everyone gave nrains to some and beauty to others....does that also apply to men??? Keep up your good work.. |
| LL66HG | Posted
on 27-Dec-02 07:27 PM
Scale to measure someone's intelligence: Intelligent in the sense that she knew as much about Nepal as I did, if not more. Have fun. LL66HG |
| LL66HG | Posted
on 27-Dec-02 07:38 PM
I liked your sunk stories. HG |
| Paschim | Posted
on 27-Dec-02 09:53 PM
Misunderstood kabi-ji -- interesting snippets, smooth writing! Made me nostalgic of my own days at university. |
| forget-me-not | Posted
on 28-Dec-02 12:43 AM
m.p ji, tapai ko to intelligence measurement....criteria aati dami lagyo...afaai lai base banako aak damai suitabl lagyo...keep it up on such writings hai... |
| SITARA | Posted
on 28-Dec-02 12:52 AM
M.P. ji As usual, exceptional hajur! A pleasure to read you again! :) |
| M.P. | Posted
on 28-Dec-02 11:50 PM
Thanks, forget-me-not, Hahoo GuruDev, Paschim bro, and Sitara for your encouraging words. Forget-me-not, It is easy to measure liquids using a 2 litre bottle than a 20 litre bottle. That's why I use myself as the measuring rod. I have been feeling homesick eversince I started reading "Bombay, London, New York" [thanks to Ashu who recommended this book]. So wasn't really in a mood to write humor and about girls. Thanks to Najar who *jhakjhakaawosh* me [woke me up] while I was spending a quiet life in the suburbs of Philly. Have an adventurous 2003, everyone! |
| paramendra | Posted
on 29-Dec-02 02:21 PM
Hola M.P. -------- So you are a Swat guya? ... heard of a creature by the name of Siddhu around there? Goes underground sometimes, shows up for parties uninvited. Messy hair, glasses that double for goggles, night vision as well as Miami shine. Etc. "..As soon as I sit on my chair, my hands unconsciously reach the mouse and before I realize what I am doing, the internet explorer opens. .." On a serious note, this can be funny, but may not be. This addiction is/can be a medical problem. Seek help. From your next door neighbor if possible! Bryn Mawr. I once walked all the way from Bryn Mawr to Philly, did I tell ya! Lasted five to six hours, don't remember for precise. I was living by UPenn, a flat-ass cheapo place that was costing me big bucks, some Penno gone away for summer. "Truckendra Kumar Bhagat..." I am happy and as yet alive. They have satellite communication but not internet access yet in trucks. Hence the "gaps" in my appearance here. I just had my first 1000-dollar week trucking! That was coupled with a few shouting matches with my Jamaican co-driver from Miami - "a few of my high school friends are in the parliament" - who earlier today got his own truck and we parted ways amicably: his wife cooks swell curry chicken. He has a son called MJ who kept coming back to sit in my lap - "MJ, you are a big man, will you please get off for a few minutes, you can come back later" - while I devoured a Bob Marley DVD. Marley da man. The guy also took me to see one of his girlfriends. The Oxford person you mention: maybe she is my "overqualified" editorial assistant on my travelogue in progress. Possible. Oxford and US community colleges don't even compare. What are you talking about? Get out of Philly/town! While wandering by the Delaware River, I once got approached by a psychic lady. I literally showed her my empty pockets. And she let me go. "You mean you don't even have a dollar!?" About beauty and intelligence. The comments border towards the sexist and can be saved by a talk of the beauty and the beast, male-inclusive. Your "original" thread has turned you into a public figure at the site, it so appears. Snippet: Once at college I shook a girl's hand with my left. She took offense. I explained it away as "cultural difference." It worked. There's erotica, and there's exotica. You and I fall in the latter category. Go offline, get a life! Go trucking or something! |
| M.P. | Posted
on 29-Dec-02 03:12 PM
>>>Oxford and US community colleges don't even compare. What are you talking about? Get out of Philly/town! Hatteri. Artha ko anartha lagaauna bhayena ni. I never said Oxford was jhur. What I meant was her getting into Oxford was jhur FOR ME. Read the proceeding lines in the same paragraph. I was being honest. After all, everything you do, or someone does, boils down to the same question--What's for me? Doesn't it? Even Mr Bhagat not understanding things! Tesai PM hunchha koi? :) >>>Go offline, get a life! Go trucking or something! Should be read as "Go offline, get a life! Go trucking [and put visit www.geocities.com/paramendra on the lower right corner of your truck] or something! :) |
| paramendra | Posted
on 29-Dec-02 03:14 PM
LOL |
| Biruwa | Posted
on 29-Dec-02 04:07 PM
lau ba hami ta katha sunne, gham tapne, badam khane ani bida manaune! :) |
| najar | Posted
on 02-Jan-03 09:49 AM
M.P. Thanks for the acknowledgement, and the credit. Aba ta ma ni thhulo manchhe bhaye chhu :), TSN ko reemergence ma key actor. Despite my "jhakjhakaosh" sorry for being unable to read soon after its emergence. Sahar ghumna gayekole right away padhna paina. But as always a witty, humorous and fun read. Even more, i was reminiscing my own college days when reading it. I used to take a class at the carnegie mellon univ (cross registration). We would take a shuttle to the CMU and at times try to analyse the correlation between "intelligence and looks" among CMU men and why in most cases would not go together (no offence anyone, am not trying to generalize nor prove it), just a goofy observation. Locked out ta kati choti, kati choti kurai chhaina. Finals week ma since working in my room was too distracting would go downstairs in the computer lab to get "work done" since other people would be working too. But that would be just for the label. Instead, would end up talking and talking and talking, write a paragraph, take an hour's break...if it was evening take a walk to the snackbar for a cup of cappacino to stay up, get back to work, but write an e-mail to a friend that had been out of touch for years..and do all other stuff on the computer but write a paper and finally finish it at 9:00am with panic when it is due that morning. By that time, i would not even want to look at it twice, let alone be editing,fancying it. One time, my paper had two first pages (due to an error in printing). And being an overconfident that i was, did not bother to look at it twice. Had to be pointed out by a professor afterwards, how embrassing can that be? Thank God he did not penalize me for that. Otherwise how would i justify my staying up all night to "finish school work". Testo kathas ta kati kati...baru ahile chahin have to get back to work. May this new year keep the TSN running on time as opposed to aakkal jhukkal :) |
| M.P. | Posted
on 02-Jan-03 04:12 PM
Biruwa, Khai hajur aajkaal TSN publication ko najik dekhinu hunna ni? Too much badaam, not good for health :) Najar, I hope you enjoyed your sahar-yaatra. I also went to the Sahar for the New Year's Celebration. Tara, aafu maanchhe sojho, tapai ko "raksi khaayerai manaaunu" bhanne advice maaneko 12 baje ta park maa sapanaa dekhiraa :) Uthera time square pugdaa ta kehi pani chhaina :(. Aghi maile diyeko credit firtaa dinus :). Talking about colleges, I found this interesting joke about colleges in sebsonline. Thanks to whoever posted it there. The link is http://www.sebsonline.org/forum/forum_view.aspx?F=1&T=29600 Excerpts: How many Brown students does it take to change a lightbulb? Eleven---one to change the lightbulb and ten to share the experience. How many Penn students does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one, but he gets six credits for it. How many Harvard students does it take to change a lightbulb? One--he holds the bulb and the world revolves around him [By the way, the bulb-fixer is in Australia right now :)] How many Virginia Tech students does it take to change a lightbulb? Two--One to change the bulb and the other to say loudly how he did it as well as a UVA student How many Boston College students does it take to change a lightbulb? Seven--One to change the light bulb and six to throw a party because he didn't screw it in upside down again. How many Mary Washington students does it take to change a light bulb? The whole student body, there's nothing better to do on weekends How many Columbia students does it take to change a lightbulb? Seventy-six--one to change the lightbulb, fifty to protest the lightbulb's right to not change, and twenty-five to hold a counter-protest. |
| najar | Posted
on 02-Jan-03 07:46 PM
M.P. Credit phirta dinthhe but, tapai le diyeko credit cash garera taas khelya poonte, oys, AX et al le sabbai khayi diye :( Aba tyo TSN delivery girl ko jaagir paye pachhi instalment ma kaate hudaina? :) Natra Poonte and PP le chiya pasal kholne re, mero jaagir secure chha bhanya chhan, will pay back upon getting talabs from that jaagir. On the other hand, you also will have to admit that some fault was yours, maile ta tapain lai saathi haru sanga po madira sewan garera ramailo garnus bhanya ta...park ma gayera pass out hunus bhanya ho ta? You should be grateful that pulis dai dekhena, dekhya bhaye pheri haamro editor in chief jyu lai kata khojna jaana parne hunthhyo ahile :) |