| Username |
Post |
| kewl |
Posted
on 17-Feb-03 06:26 PM
After reading the article “Adjusting to American way of Life….” I could not stop myself writing about it. Let me first congratulate authors for taking this initiative and posting it here. I am sure this will turn out to be very informative to students like me who come here to study.
With due respect to Bal Krishna Sharma phd ( I hope not in US culture) and Anita Adhikary, I felt very insulted and sad after reading few points mentioned in this article. I don’t know when respected authors came to this “wonderland”, but let me say that we in Nepal were also not living in “Jungle Land”. May be we don’t know many “Table Manners” but we don’t do burping (Dakarne) while eating (mentioned in article) or chirping sound while drinking fluid, (again mentioned in article). We too know how to use BathRoom and I’m sure many of us know hot to urinate. (pls read article Learn to use bathroom properly). Please don’t think that people living in Nepal are all stupids, fools and ignorant. Infact because of this type of attitude of American Neaplese and their siblings (Not all pls…), I try to avoid Neps gathering and festivals. That simply SUCKS!!!
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| kewl |
Posted
on 17-Feb-03 07:16 PM
No one thinks I'm right ha?..:(
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| gemini |
Posted
on 17-Feb-03 07:17 PM
I read the article.I finally came to know that in US, "latrines" are called as "Toilets". Ma pani PHD garnu parla.But i dont know which subject i should choose.Any recommendation from any one? That will be highly appreciated.What about burping and surping? After my PHD, i may able to post my "BAKAMPHUSE" article in sajha:((
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| kewl |
Posted
on 17-Feb-03 07:21 PM
Thanks gemini..at least u responded..Write an article about using "Dish Washer and Washing Machine in WonderLand" or "Using knife and forks while eating Pizza at Pizza hut: Must know for Nep Students.."
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| gemini |
Posted
on 17-Feb-03 07:26 PM
Wait. Let me complete my PHD first.Then i will think about it.Otherwise, i won't be able to write "bakamphuse" artcle and waste my and others time.Any way thank you for your reccomendation. I guess i will wait for others' too.:))
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| jira |
Posted
on 17-Feb-03 07:46 PM
First of all, I would like to thank the authors for raising majority of valid concerns. After reading the whole article, I am somewhat compelled to express my anxiety over few points. Like Kewl said, NO! we do not do any burping whatsoever nor do we try to make any chirping sound while drinking. That will only demean our nepali culture. Other informations are still valid and may be useful for lot of people who may be unaware of American culture in some extent. About the religious thing, the author indicates that it is not good to make negative remarks about any religious belief which is so so so true. But, how a freshman should treat this campus crusader who by no shame happen to knock on your door just to teach you some fine lines about christianity. And to add more, they are no reluctant to say that we are already digging tunnel to hell if we do not believe in christianity. I do not remember geting a prior call from them before they attempted to preach me about christianty.
As I do feel that every religion is 100% true based on its seperate ground of beliefs, what are the tips of overcoming such issue? There are many more like this.
Author ko yata pani dhyaan janey ho ki ta??
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| PremPujari |
Posted
on 17-Feb-03 08:02 PM
GEMINI???
ding dong!!
Baj gaya ghanti re!!!! :)
Chinya chinya jasto laagyo ni!!
By the way, Gemini, Me too..... !!!
:)
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| kewl |
Posted
on 17-Feb-03 08:43 PM
Jira ji,
I completely agree with you. Instead of writing an article about burping and chirping, and ways to urintae, authors can tell students about
1. using credit cards... how to apply them..which are easy to get...
2. more on getting scholarships, student loan..
3. more on culture...like what thanks giving all about..
4. more on getting sponsorship, H1 or getting F1...
and authors PLEASE remove those insulting points from your article....
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| isolated freak |
Posted
on 17-Feb-03 09:21 PM
A good article for the ones who just happned to be in the US. But it somehow leaves an important aspect untouched, i.e, dealing with the Culture Shock. The article serves as a manual "do this and don't do this", but alone isn't sufficient for anyone to adapt/assimilate in the American Culture. Furthermore, there's no explanation of Culture Shock in that article, and this probably is one aspect that the writers should touch on when they re-write/update it.
Dealing with Culture Shock is not easy. And let me present some of my own views (and this applies to everyone everywhere who happen to be away from their homes):
When a person leaves home and arrives in a new place, the first 2-5 weeks are called Euphoria or the HONEYMOON period. Then, everything looks fine, great and overwhelmingly exciting. In this phase, one does not look for the differences between the new place and his/her homeland. Everything looks similar, everything is good and one turns into a sano-tino explore and this phase is spent trying out new things, going to new places and making new friends.
I MISS MY DAAL BHAAT PHASE: Suddenly one finds that the Honeymoon phase is over. Then instead of similarities in cultures one tends to see differences in cultures. This is when a Nepali starts saying, “I miss my daal bhaat. I am sick and tired of eating Junk/Cafeteria food”
When a person leaves home and arrives in a new place, the first 2-5 weeks are called Euphoria or the HONEYMOON period. Then, everything looks fine, great and overwhelmingly exciting. In this phase, one does not look for the differences between the new place and his/her homeland. Everything looks similar, everything is good and one turns into a sano-tino explorer and this phase is spent trying out new things, going to new places and making new friends.
I MISS MY DAAL BHAAT PHASE: Suddenly one finds that the Honeymoon phase is over. Then instead of similarities in cultures one tends to see differences in cultures. This is when a Nepali starts saying, “I miss my daal bhaat. I am sick and tired of eating Junk/Cafeteria food”. Missing daal-bhaat isn't only missing daal-bhaat, it also means that one is missing family/friends/environment. One still appears happy, smiles at others but the explorer spirit of the honeymoon period is now history. One starts enjoying alone and thinks of home, family, friends and even the cigarette brand.
YOU KNOW WHAT?? I WANT TO GO BACK: This usually happens at the 6-8th week of one’s arrival in a new place. One somehow reaches to this conclusion that the new is not a good fit for him/her and this is the most crucial period in a person’s adjustment process. In this phase, due to depression and the rebellion spirit, one tends to either drink heavily with people who come from the same background or lock yourself in the room, eat less and just think about home. And one cannot help but say, “yeah, if I can, I want to go back. I don’t think I will be able to accomplish anything here.” In this phase, many things happen such as:
1. bad grades in papers/midterms
2. loss in appetite (but in rare cases, one turns into a hantakali and just eats)
3. one discovers that sleeping is the best thing to do to escape real life problems
After a week or two of this phase, one starts to look for people from his/her home country. And this phase is interesting. Two people sit down and just talk and the talk revolves around the politics of home, school-experience(s) and on popular culture, media over RAXI. And the new comer doesn’t leave any chance to complain about the new place/country. This spending more time with someone who speaks his/her own language is somewhat an unconscious “active” resistance towards the host culture. This phase generally brings changes in one’s appearance: Either one looses weight or gains weight, in some cases you get acne breakouts, some find it useless to shave, shower or get a haircut and so on. If one is on this period, one is at the last stage of Culture Shock. Things get back to normal in 3-4 weeks, so there’s nothing to worry about. Actually by the end of the fourth month, one starts loving the new place. [we love America so much that after our 4 months of stay there, we don’t even feel like coming back to Nepal, hoina?]
1. It happens to everyone. So, you have nothing to worry about., Acrtually people who don’t go through these phase(S) are abnormal. The W curve theory explains this as: All adjustment phases are like lines in the alphabet W.. tala mathi .. tala maathi.. this is how we feel. And its NORMAL to feel this way.
2. There are differences in Cultures and you will learn them as the time goes.
3. You speak good enough, so don’t feel shy to open your mouth. Make friends!!!
4. Your teeth are alright, not like SETO moti jasto, but you can still smile that CLOSE-UP smile.
And this one, especially for guys:
When a GIRL HUGS you, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you are getting LUCKY later that day. Be able to differentiate between a friendly/affectionate hug and “others”.
(based on my experience as someone who went through Culture Shock and as having worked at the Exernal Studies office of my middle of nowhere community college, and also having worked as a member of the team that gave Orientation to the prospective Study abroad students.. yeah, throw this in the department of Self-Promotion thread).
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| isolated freak |
Posted
on 17-Feb-03 09:29 PM
Please disreagard the above post. Alik repeatations bhayecha.. so here's without the repeateations version.
A good article for the ones who just happned to be in the US. But it somehow leaves an important aspect untouched, i.e, dealing with the Culture Shock. The article serves as a manual "do this and don't do this", but this alone isn't sufficient for anyone to adapt/assimilate in the American Culture. Furthermore, there's no explanation of Culture Shock in that article, and this probably is one aspect that the writers should touch on when they re-write/update it.
Dealing with Culture Shock is not easy. And let me present some of my own views (and this applies to everyone everywhere who happen to be away from their homes):
When a person leaves home and arrives in a new place, the first 2-5 weeks are called Euphoria or the HONEYMOON period. Then, everything looks fine, great and overwhelmingly exciting. In this phase, one does not look for the differences between the new place and his/her homeland. Everything looks similar, everything is good and one turns into a sano-tino explore and this phase is spent trying out new things, going to new places and making new friends.
I MISS MY DAAL BHAAT PHASE: Suddenly one finds that the Honeymoon phase is over. Then instead of similarities in cultures one tends to see differences in cultures. This is when a Nepali starts saying, “I miss my daal bhaat. I am sick and tired of eating Junk/Cafeteria food” Missing daal-bhaat isn't only missing daal-bhaat, it also means that one is missing family/friends/environment. One still appears happy, smiles at others but the explorer spirit of the honeymoon period is now history. One starts enjoying alone and thinks of home, family, friends and even the cigarette brand.
YOU KNOW WHAT?? I WANT TO GO BACK: This usually happens at the 6-8th week of one’s arrival in a new place. One somehow reaches to this conclusion that the new is not a good fit for him/her and this is the most crucial period in a person’s adjustment process. In this phase, due to depression and the rebellion spirit, one tends to either drink heavily with people who come from the same background or lock yourself in the room, eat less and just think about home. And one cannot help but say, “yeah, if I can, I want to go back. I don’t think I will be able to accomplish anything here.” In this phase, many things happen such as:
1. bad grades in papers/midterms
2. loss in appetite (but in rare cases, one turns into a hantakali and just eats)
3. one discovers that sleeping is the best thing to do to escape real life problems
After a week or two of this phase, one starts to look for people from his/her home country. And this phase is interesting. Two people sit down and just talk and the talk revolves around the politics of home, school-experience(s) and on popular culture, media over RAXI. And the new comer doesn’t leave any chance to complain about the new place/country. This spending more time with someone who speaks his/her own language is somewhat an unconscious “active” resistance towards the host culture. This phase generally brings changes in one’s appearance: Either one looses weight or gains weight, in some cases you get acne breakouts, some find it useless to shave, shower or get a haircut and so on. If one is on this period, one is at the last stage of Culture Shock. Things get back to normal in 3-4 weeks, so there’s nothing to worry about. Actually by the end of the fourth month, one starts loving the new place. [we love America so much that after our 4 months of stay there, we don’t even feel like coming back to Nepal, hoina?]
1. It happens to everyone. So, you have nothing to worry about., Acrtually people who don’t go through these phase(S) are abnormal. The W curve theory explains this as: All adjustment phases are like lines in the alphabet W.. tala mathi .. tala maathi.. this is how we feel. And its NORMAL to feel this way.
2. There are differences in Cultures and you will learn them as the time goes.
3. You speak good enough, so don’t feel shy to open your mouth. Make friends!!!
4. Your teeth are alright, not like SETO moti jasto, but you can still smile that CLOSE-UP smile.
And this one, especially for guys:
When a GIRL HUGS you, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you are getting LUCKY later that day. Be able to differentiate between a friendly/affectionate hug and “others”.
(based on my experience as someone who went through Culture Shock and as having worked at the Exernal Studies office of my middle of nowhere community college, and also having worked as a member of the team that gave Orientation to the prospective Study abroad students.. yeah, throw this in the department of Self-Promotion thread).
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| oys_chill |
Posted
on 17-Feb-03 10:02 PM
tyasai maile uhile dekhin brain drain ko sandarva utha ho ra????? ;)
I fully agree with kewl and IF and deal with more pertinent issues rather than speculate......that's like one of the int'l student saying here in the club meeting "int'l students need to be shown how to use washing machine, cause they are so used to servants in their home country" ........
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| baje1 |
Posted
on 17-Feb-03 10:06 PM
We have been here for more than 20 years and believe me there are guys who burp/are never in time/bad toilet manners etc- so this article is very good for those people who have just entered US and who may not be aware of all these small yet important etiquettes of life . So what do you say MR KEWL
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| miss_mixery |
Posted
on 17-Feb-03 10:44 PM
believe it or not but the first time that i met my 'psycho' roommate , i was asked these questions:
"is nepal in africa?"
"do you have toilets in nepal? no really no need to be embarrassed, i'll show you!"
"excuse me, but i havent shown you my fridge, my stereo, my microw....."
i think it IS unfair to stereotype and add to the beliefs that most nepalese coming to the US are from "Jungle Land" (if i may quote kewl). i think many americans are just as bad with these etiquettes and should be forwarded that article. on that note, many nepalese are more polite than the average american.
i quite much prefer isolated freaks version thank you very much!! the writers should definitely have targeted other areas such as culture shock etc.... makes me think that maybe the writers haven't really experienced much of the experiences first rate....
wasnt there a thread here that talked about it? they should have referred to that instead.....
~MM
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| kewl |
Posted
on 17-Feb-03 10:45 PM
Baje ji..
Seems you are my baje in age too..so with due respect, this article is for people coming from Nep to USA. Its not for people Jumla or Humla ( or other places of Nep) who have never seen car and cycle , going down to Ktm. People who come to USA as students are more smart and knows more etiquettes of life than you sir...I can bet on that...Living on USA for 20 yrs -30 yrs does not matter...We are able to compete with anyone and anywhere now...Teaching us how to urinate is insult and its simply shows some people attitude towards Nepalis from Nepal.
I have nothing against authors and I am really impressed with some of the good points made there too.
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| isolated freak |
Posted
on 17-Feb-03 10:51 PM
kewl,
yeah, people who come to study in the US actually know that they have to lift up the toilet seat tyo urinate. So, i agree with you.
I felt that the article would have been really good if the authors had explained what Culrture shock really is and how to deal with it.
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| isolated freak |
Posted
on 18-Feb-03 02:18 AM
Nepal isn't as isolated and as as backward as some poeple think it to be. Thanks to the orbital junk (satellite channels), people here in major cities have a vague idea of what America or the west is all about. Its not like Nepal ceased to develop or adapt to the western way of life from the emdiveal period. There are ATMs in Kathmandu and Pokhara, people are learning new things from the Internet, new generation knows how to use credit cards and believe it or not, young Nepalis speak better "up-to-date" English and they know what's hot and what's not, the young generation porobbaly constitues half of the Nepali population that uses roll-on deodarants and after shave.
Of course, one can always say that one has to swim to know the depth of the water and one has to be in the US to understand the American Culture or better yet, to get the essense of what the American Culture is all about. I don't disagree with this view. Young Generation here know everything and anything about the tangible culture but doesn't seem to know much about the intangible aspects of the american culture. People know about the Empire State Building, Sears Tower and Disney Land although many have gone on a roller-coaster ride. People know about Thanksgiving, Haloween and Christmas but they don't know the cultural concepts behind these celebrations.
Also, people know about the concept of gift-culture but don't know what it is all about. A Nepali who has just come to the US may get offended if a host tells him that he can take the leftovers. Although, a nice gesture on the part of the host, the Nepali, because of the culrtural "misunderstanding" might think that the host is thinking him as "garib", because asking guests to take the leftovers is not in Nepali culture.
Instead of teaching the Nepalis how to do this and that, the authors should have focused more on how to deal with the cultural misunderstandings.
Tyo bhako bhaye sun-ma-sugandha hunthyo, hoina ta?
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| isolated freak |
Posted
on 18-Feb-03 02:22 AM
Land although many have gone on a roller-coaster ride. People know about
read it as ... although many have not gone on a roller-coaster ride.
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| Padme |
Posted
on 18-Feb-03 03:38 AM
I have read the article and I find it informative. It will certainly help many new comers. I will share my story about using "western" toilet when time permits.
The authors admit that they are not experts but only trying to help, I find the effort applaudable, even tough the article does not have everything that we all like to see. It is probably a subject of a book on how to survive in America.
I applaud the authors for their first attempt.
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| baje1 |
Posted
on 18-Feb-03 07:37 AM
for your info mr kewl - do u know how many people come here under DV LOTTERY!! ALL OF THEM ARE NOT LIKE U FORTUNATE ENOUGH TO KNOW WHAT U THINK U KNOW.
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| aakash_ |
Posted
on 18-Feb-03 07:51 AM
I think the article was a good beginning. It could have had more information but for starters, it deserves two thumbs up.
Kewl comes up with some interesting points but says "I try to avoid Neps gathering and festivals. That simply SUCKS!!!"
Now how could someone who avoids Nepali gatherings because they suck, be such an authority on the Nepali ways. If anything Kewl is suffering from superiority complex i.e. he's above such Nepali gatherings.
Like baje1 said, it would be of help for many daju bhai didi bahinis who have not had the priviledge of knowing such etiquettes.
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| hyaterica |
Posted
on 18-Feb-03 08:57 AM
>>When a GIRL HUGS you, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you are getting LUCKY later that day. Be able to differentiate between a friendly/affectionate hug and “others”.
nicely put, IF :)
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| aakash_ |
Posted
on 18-Feb-03 09:15 AM
That's funny. Yeah when an american girl talks to you, you feel like hey maybe i'm gonna get lucky!
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| vision |
Posted
on 18-Feb-03 12:08 PM
I think it’s a fair attempt by the author to help fellow Nepalese adjust to American life style. After all, not all the Nepalese who come to US are Kathmandu elites. In fact, more and more Nepalese I meet, especially around Washington metro area are from rural Nepal. And there are some older generation Nepalese who do not want to adapt to new society and will make every attempt and excuse to continue with their Nepali life style. I’m sure the author meant to focus on these folks.
Now about the girl giving a hug, or even a kiss on the cheek, I say even kathmanduties have to learn from that.
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| nepal2000 |
Posted
on 18-Feb-03 11:26 PM
If you visit us …
Probably some folks are offended 'cause they found/thought the advise article was custom made for them. It is meant for general audience. You may find some points useful, others might find other points useful. It is not a package deal that you must take it or leave it in its entirety.
We host a lot of Nepali students, visitors, and relatives. Here are some additional advises from our real life experiences. Some are meant for long-term visitors (weeks), some are for short-term visitors, and others are general comments applicable to all.
Every time you men/boys go to the bathroom to urinate, you lift the commode seat up. OK, you "elites" already know this much. Do you also know and practice to put the commode seat AND cover DOWN after you are done? I have yet to see one doing this. [Even many Americans don't do this.]
Body odor is considered offensive in this culture. Take shower every day. Use deodorant/antiperspirant regularly. Wash your clothes regularly. Change underclothes at least once a day. Your shirts/t-shirts changed every day would be easier to wash in the machine and keep the body odor out. [About the body odor: once I gave a ride to two ladies visiting from Nepal. The body odor (pasina ko gandha) was so strong that I had to open car windows driving at 70 MPH - in the winter!] Also, do not use cheap and VERY strong body spray or fragrance brought from Nepal. Unless you got good designer fragrance, they stink.
Keep your shower time short. There are other people needing hot water for shower. Also, you have jet lag and you wake up at 4 a.m. It doesn't mean you take shower at that time. Don't wake us up - we need to go and work all day.
Don't expect us to take frequent time offs to show you around or take you for shopping. After a month of stay, you should be able to use the public transportation - if there is one.
If you stay with a Nepali friend or family or a host family, be considerate. Help in the kitchen by cutting Tarkari. Or just talk to the host/hostess to keep company. We don't like when we do all the work and the guest/s sit in the sofa and watch TV. Pick up after you. Wash your Chiya-khayeko-cup, glass, plates etc. Help wash some (not all, just your share) of the pots and pans that are used to cook food for you and others. For your information, we don't run dishwasher after each meal or every day; and we don't have servants here.
If you help in the kitchen, just be careful not to make a mess. Do not drip water all over the place, especially in the wood floor. If you drop something messy on the floor, pick/clean it up. Just yesterday, my guest cooked saag-ko-tarkari. I picked up a fist full of spinach from the floor afterwards. You know those things easily travel to our white carpet. After another Nepali cooking from our guest, the Besar spots from the white tile counter top and white cupboard doors would not go.
Don't expect daal-bhat-tarkari or heavy meal in the morning. We eat light lunch.
To make ends meet or just for the heck of it, both of us work. Most of the couples do. Don't expect us to come home and cook full course meal for you every night.
Our homes are nearly airtight to conserve heat. Don't expect us to cook, or don't you dare to cook, daal, vegetables or meat with fried onions, lots of fried masala, methi, jimmu/lahsun jhaneko EVERY DAY. No stove topped cooking of fish curry. The smell in the house and possibly clothes will hang in there for several days. [One of my acquaintances was told by an American friend that he smelled like curry - that was 7 a.m. at the bus stop!]
Don't crank up the heat in the winter so that you can feel comfortable to wear your t-shirt. It costs money. We keep at sweater/pullover warmth.
Nepali women are fond of putting glycerin on their feet. Please put on a pair of socks before you step on the carpet.
Do not smoke inside our homes, unless the owner does it.
Don't brag about or find excuses in "Haamro dui jana Nokar chhan", "Haamro ghar maa marble ko counter-top chha", "Haami chicken ko seto maasu ra maachha maatrai khanchhaun", "Haami ta sabai fresh maatrai pakayera khandainau", "Wahaan ko driver jahan gaye pani puryaii dinchha" etc. If you like to brag, don't visit us. If you do visit once, then you are not welcome again.
Thanks for listening. I needed to get these off my chest. We are not trying to prove that we are better than others. Just respect our way of living and be considerate.
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| watever |
Posted
on 19-Feb-03 10:08 AM
Ok I somehow want to comment regarding Isolated Freaks Culture Shock theories... ughhhh just surprised... coming half way from home... two days in the freaking plane... you dont know anyone.... you dont like the food.. and you have to speak english ALL the time for God's sake... what part of that sounds like Honeymoon or Euphoria to you??[righhhht that didn't happen to you!!].... hehe :D its been a while since you been through that Culture shock thingie hasn't it??? I dont know maybe it was Euphoria for some... but fake smiles and saying "Hi" "how you doing" all the time doesn't do it for me!!!
Everything else might be true but was too long for me to read!
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| isolated freak |
Posted
on 19-Feb-03 10:50 AM
watever, in many cases, people find the new place, new language, new food and new friends actually exciting for the fisrt two weeks. this is when you really explore and experiment with new things. this is what i meant by euphoric/honeymoon state of mind.
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| oys_chill |
Posted
on 19-Feb-03 12:14 PM
yah nepal2000, got your points loud and clear........:)
need not say much, yor name says it all!
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| Suna |
Posted
on 19-Feb-03 12:23 PM
Nepal2000
Do you mean to say you learned all of the things you outlined here in the US?
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| bhedo |
Posted
on 19-Feb-03 12:29 PM
Whoever wrote the article doesn't know much about American youths. Instead of sitting in their ivory towers to give us banal lecture about fitting right in, which doesn't make any sense, they should realize that Nepalis in America are mostly college students, or at least young. So naturally, they're gonna be more in contact with young people . Now they don't care about proper behavior. If they consider burping and farting in two second intervals to be proper behavior, then I would agree with them. My roommates used to do exactly this, not to mention moaning and groaning at an adjacent room while having sex.
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| aakash_ |
Posted
on 19-Feb-03 12:35 PM
I've always wondered about proper etiquette regarding commode seat.
It is a well known fact that men put the commode seat up to pee and women put it down to pee. If a guy goes to a toilet to pee, then he has to lift up the commode seat to pee, and this is all fine and good. But, when a girl goes to pee and sees the commode seat up she considers it bad etiquette because now she has to put it down.
Even if you conside the amount of work it takes to put the seat up or down, it takes much less to put the seat down than up since gravitation helps in bringing it down.
In todays day and age of equal treatment of sexes, I think it's something that needs to be reviewed by the etiquette police.
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| nepal2000 |
Posted
on 20-Feb-03 12:07 AM
Suna: what do you mean? IF I didn't learn all of those things in Nepal, I don't get to say what is right or what is expected of you? Do you want to go through what I went through to learn what I learned in the last ten or twenty years? Which of my points you disagree with?
[I'm using YOU below in generic term. Not you, Suna, in perticular.]
Look, I get a lot of visitors. So do other Nepali homeowners. Some stay for weeks, some for days, and others come for momo, khasi-ko-masu, gundruk-masyaura etc. Some students come over to stay when their dorms are closed during the winter or summer breaks. If you already don't know some of the rules OR if you ignore what you are supposed to do or not do, you will not come again. It is as simple as that. If your host family or another Nepali family doesn't invite you back, get a clue from it. Better yet, learn from my and other people's experiences.
We (as a host) provide food and shelter - all free! We expect you to use common sense. After the stock market crash, many homeowners are left with home equity as their only asset.
About the commode and gender equality: BOTH men and women will have to labor to lift the cover (ok, for men its cover and the seat- a bit heavy work, huh). The cover is there for a purpose - to cover the unpleasant sight. Also the practice protects, especially women, from accidental midnight dip.
Another thing I forgot to mention earlier is: if you buy, you pay for it. I hesitate to go shopping with the visitors. At Costco where the member has to pay at the check out, your Pachhi Taraunla never comes. We pay by credit card doesn't mean it is free!
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| MunnaMobile |
Posted
on 20-Feb-03 08:14 AM
nepal2002 instead of posting your "rules of my house" here... you should send mail/letter/or even Notice in Red to all your flokz/Relatives/Would be guests. I am sure they will understand your problem n may even avoide coming in next time.
But you too hv a choice...i.e politely telling them you don't want them in your house rather then going public over the whole thing, after you hv actually let them do what you did not want them to do.
If you hv any problem communicating with them thru other meanz..you can use ma Mobile its 4 free..just dial MunnaMobile
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| Biruwa |
Posted
on 20-Feb-03 09:03 AM
So the problem with nepal2000,baje1 is that their guests- relatives are ill-mannered. Hey may be!
But then you shouldn't generalise and post the "Adjusting to American Way of Life: Tips for Visitors, Students and Immigrants from Nepal ". As if it is the Nepalis who have all these ill-manners. I have seen many an American with the same traits.
May be you had only Nepali guests and only know about their ill-manners. But that doesn't mean that only Nepali people have this. For example I was helping a Nigrian once. And guided him around since he was totally lost. But then he used some of my things without asking me.
So had you listed your article as "proper etiquette for a guests" then may be that would have been more proper. See you don't even know the proper etiquette for posting articles. We now know how much esteem and regard you have for a Nepali. It seems you have been helping Nepali relatives and others just because " what will they say if I don't " mentality.
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| starry night |
Posted
on 20-Feb-03 02:08 PM
amerNePal2000...i think you lack some ettitiquitte yourself. . After reading that, it upset me that so much of us "americanized" nepalese ARE tryign to be superior. Most have a complex of their own, and they are really american born confused Nepalese.
And maybe you aren't really nepali, nepal2000. My parents have taught me ettitiqute...when you have guest..there are no rule number one and rule number 2..just one..you respect them..that is an asian value i hope to keep... So they leave teh seat up...so they take showers at 4 so they stink ...its a lack of education on your part to understand human nature...Stop turning into a bitch and makign someone feel like ass by throwing your 2 cent 2 minute thoughts of "How to be cool in america" :"commandments". You can polittely tell them the next day the views of american ettitqute. .think how hard it is for many to assimilate. Put youreslf in that situation: What if you were to go to Japan and adapt to their lifestyle.....you my friend, woudl be rude. Im actually disspointed in hearing yoru article. .....
...Im sorry...ive lived and been practically raised in the states for the past 20 of my 24year life. Im actually kind of embarrassed to see that you lack some our rich and powerful asian values.
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| starry night |
Posted
on 20-Feb-03 02:10 PM
uhh, disregard teh typos....i was rambling in fits
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| Singaney |
Posted
on 20-Feb-03 02:28 PM
biraye bhandewuna nepal2000, nagarnu kaam gari sakyou, aba sabbailey khaney nai bhaye ni....
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| khai_k_vanu |
Posted
on 20-Feb-03 02:48 PM
Tsk...k kura gareko? I think intention of the authors is to help fellow Nepalis. Those who are well groomed, know all etiquette this is not the article for you and don't get offended. You folks are lucky ones because you got an opportunity in Nepal to learn such things( from parents, home etc). Well to folks like me who came from village where there is no attach bathroom how do we know bathroom ettiquete if someone doesn't tell us. Even those sophisticated sauve well-mannered people from Kathmandu, I have seen them burping and belching...so therefore dont' take any umbrage.Yes I need to learn a lot! Thanks for the article.
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| kewl |
Posted
on 20-Feb-03 06:22 PM
I ask authors to include on how to Kiss and have sex for those who never had a chance to do it in nepal. Atleast it will make sense then....
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| Vision |
Posted
on 20-Feb-03 07:02 PM
Baaf re...why don't people who feel they already have the superb American etiquette just leave the article alone and move on with their lives instead of just criticizing someone's honest, no profit intended will to help others? While folks who feel they can learn few things can read the article and might actually learn something. I don't see what's the big deal here.
And there are plenty of books on how to kiss, have sex, better your sex etc etc..And I don't think Nepalese are the targeted audience, any damn fool could read those books and learn.
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| nepalibitch |
Posted
on 20-Feb-03 08:09 PM
wut u wrote is disgusting...i dun know wut kinda guest u've been getting dude...but u know i've seeing a lot of nepali's with similar thoughts like urs which realky makes me sick..."jus because everyone does it " or "this is american shit" bro hami nepali ho..we can't forget our culture...and i'm sure no guest r so shameless that they over stay their welcome...i if u talk straight with them they will understand unless u kiss ass in the front and bitch behind the back....aight that's all
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| Vision |
Posted
on 20-Feb-03 08:15 PM
HUH!
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