| SITARA |
Posted
on 03-Mar-03 11:35 AM
From The Guardian in London...
Ignoring the fact that George Bush declined Saddam Hussein's challenge to a
televised debate, Tim Dowling exclusively reveals what could have happened
had they met
Tony Blair, moderator: Welcome to the first televised debate between George
W Bush and Saddam Hussein, live from United Nations headquarters in New
York. We will begin with a brief opening statement from each of you.
Bush: First of all I would just like to welcome my evil friend to the UN,
one of the great American institutions for the propulsion of freedom
throughout the world.
Saddam: Thank you, Great Satan. I hope that in today's debate we may find
some common ground between the Iraqi people's commitment to peace and human
progress and America's desire to destroy the Middle East.
Bush: Do I answer that?
Blair: No. The first question is quite simply this: do you have any links
with al-Qaida?
Bush: I do not.
Blair: The question is for President Saddam.
Saddam: As I told Mr Tony Benn clearly and simply, if I had links with
al-Qaida and I enjoyed those links then I would not be ashamed to tell the
world, but since I am ashamed to tell the world of this, it follows that I
have no such links.
Bush: Neither do I.
Blair: The second question is for Mr Bush. Mr Bush, if America and Iraq were
to go to war tomorrow, who would win?
Bush: That's easy. America, right?
Saddam: Even I knew that one.
Bush: That's because the great United American States of America are on the
side of rightliness and Americanity, against an evil Axis of Evil made up of
Iraq, North Korea and... how many are in an axis? Three?
Blair: I think you're allowed as many as you like.
Bush: OK, Iraq, North Korea and France.
Saddam: I will tell you frankly and directly that Iraq is not part of any
Axis of Evil.
Bush: Who am I thinking of then? Irania?
Blair: Let's move on. Saddam, are you willing to destroy your stockpile of
Samoud 2 missiles in accordance with UN weapons inspectors' orders?
Saddam: I explain to you now that if Iraq possessed these so-called weapons,
we would never destroy them, but since we do not have any such weapons, we
are happy to comply, even though these non-existent weapons certainly do not
exceed the proscribed range of 150 kms. I've tested them myself, and we
don't have any.
Blair: The final question is for George Bush. Mr President, is there any way
that Saddam Hussein can avoid war, and what steps must he now take in order
to reach a negotiated solution?
Bush: Listen to me. It's very simple. First Saddam must compile 200% with
the UN inspectorers, and I mean activated compilation, not passivist
compilation. Second, he must disarm fully, in keeping with UN revelation
1441 and the next one coming, 1441B, which will require him to disarm even
more fully that. Then he must destroy all Samoud missiles and any other
weapons of mass destruction he is found, or not found, to be possessive of,
without being asked. Finally, there is one more task he must perform, which
I am not at liberty to revulge. And even that will not be enough.
Blair: The translator would like to take your answer home with him and work
on it over the weekend.
Bush: Fine, but we require nothing less than total disarmature.
Saddam: OK.
Blair: Sorry, but I'm not sure that "disarmature" is a word. I defer to the
UN Keeper of the Dictionary, Mr Richard Stilgoe.
Stilgoe: Yes, you can have disarmature. It means, "the action of disarming"
according to the OED.
Bush: Exactly. He must cut his own arms off.
Saddam: If it means peace, I will do it.
Bush: Too late.
Stilgoe: Did you know that Saddam Hussein is an anagram of 'Demands a
Sushi'?
Saddam: Yes, I've heard them all.
Bush: I don't eat sushi. Is there a fish option?
Blair: I'd like to remind everyone at home that the Monica Lewinsky-Tonya
Harding fight follows after the break.
Copyright Guardian Newspapers Limited
|
| suva chintak |
Posted
on 03-Mar-03 09:21 PM
Sitaraji, marvellous!
This is what the world has come under Emperor George IX and prime minister Blair where the reality is funnier than comedy!!
BBC says the attack on Iraq already started, they killed six Iraqis and wounded 15 others. I am going to be parking myself infront of CNN screen with a 12-pack Budweiser, potato chips, and savor all the pyrotechnics as the smart bombs kill dumb people for the next couple of weeks. I have a nagging suspicion that the most people are going to be switching channel from World Criket to Bushwar II (or Gulf War II, Texaco War I, Mobil War I, Shell War I...., take your pick).
If I can't stop the war, I may just as well enjoy all the free violence on the screen - viewer discretion not required.
God save the queen!
|
