| yOunGBlOOdz |
Posted
on 13-Mar-03 10:05 AM
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol.
-- Anonymous
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
-- Benjamin Franklin
Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
-- Winston Churchill
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
-- Stephen Wright
Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of the time
and have the time of your life.
-- Michelle Mastrolacasa
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
-- Henny Youngman
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
-- Hemingway
When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall
asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get
drunk and go to heaven!
-- Brian O'Rourke
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer.
Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does
not go nearly as well with pizza.
-- Dave Barry
I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet, tasty beer.
-- Homer Simpson
Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen,
for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.
-- Dave Barry
Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed.
Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of
their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work
and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I
drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
-- Jack Handy
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do go over Murphy's law again if U've already got it
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Murphy says '"Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won't either.'" if these lines sound interesting........read on to discover words of wisdom and work on these for a better (sex) life.
Love
-Love is a matter of chemistry; Sex is a matter of physics.
-Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
-Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
-Money can't buy love, but it sure gets you a great bargaining
position.
-Brains x Beauty x Availability = Constant.
-The nicer someone is, the farther away he/she is from you.
-Availability is a function of time. The minute you get interested
is the minute they find someone else.
-Before you find your handsome prince, you've got to kiss a lot
of frogs.
-If it seems too good to be true, it probably is.
Sex
- Virginity can be cured.
-Sex takes up the least amount of your time and causes the
most amount of trouble.
-Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people
think you've got.
- No sex with anyone in the same office.
-Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are
going to get or how long it is going to last.
-Sex is dirty only if it's done right.
- When the lights are out, all women are beautiful.
- Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are
you won't either.
- The game of love is never called off on account of darkness.
-A man in the house is worth two in the street.
-When a man's wife learns to understand him, she usually
stops listening to him.
- Sex discriminates against the shy and the ugly.
- Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.
- There may be some things better than sex, and some things
worse than sex. But there is nothing exactly like it.
- There is no remedy for sex but more sex.
- Sex has no calories.
thats murphy's law ... what is yours ?
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