| Carnation |
Posted
on 24-Mar-03 11:04 AM
........
I detest down-pours. The very thought of getting drenched horrifies me. I often stay in the parking lot staring at the distant billboard WORKING/ HARD TO BE/ NO/ GOOD CREDIT/ REPOSESSION and think of a suitable category I fit in. Viola!!!! This time, I saw one of my colleagues getting off his car. Minutes later, I was sheltering his large multi-color umbrella and heading towards our faculty co-ordinator who had offered me work in his projects. Meeting him was a respite after being no reason let down by people who believe only in hiring N-year experienced (N being a suitably unfairly large number) professional. During the process, I have found myself walking past rooms in disarray. Past rooms with holes in them. Past doors that have been replaced by translucent white sheets. Past walls that have become orifices protected by solid glass doors. The ironic expressionism of those moments, I wonder if ever escapes me.
How does one react when one realizes oneself to be miserably lost? What would one do when gets awaken into pitch darkness? Is every alley a blind opportunity or an invitation to an unseen disaster? Does one have to walk ahead no matter what? I know, infact know well that tomorrows answers cant sway todays questions. Is it the week end blues or the war thats on my head?? Albeit the worlds politics are beyond the grasp of my ordinary&..yet I can see a new mass that are going to have yet another FREE experience thrust upon them, like it has happened in Afghanistan and the erstwhile Yugoslavia before. I wonder what life for them is crushed in between a shrewd dictator or a ruthless regime and the crusaders of the modern white mans burden telling them who is best suited to rule them.
Am I being paradoxical??? A casual rendezvous with my friends and discussing what would you have done if time travel was possible. I would have convinced my deceased brother never to join the army said my suitemate, with mixed emotions of immense pain and rage. I tried to relate what she said and Michael Moores beseeching speech on President Bush & his policy during the 75th academy award We live in the time where we have fictitious election results that elects a fictitious president. We live in a time where we have a man sending us to war for fictitious reasons. Whether it's the fiction of duct tape or fiction of orange alerts we are against this war, Mr. Bush. Shame on you!! And any time you got the Pope and the Dixie Chicks against you, your time is up.
Well, Im awfully numb. I hate it when words fail me. I hate it even more when words that I said arent heard and the words that I heard arent what they meant. Could not just be me having those sneaky feelings of news being thrusted upon without its essential quality of questioning the facts. They always leave themselves enough space to wriggle out in the future, in case their version of things turns sour. These days, most media briefings has been mostly the administrations public faces playing hopscotch with what is not proven&starting with terror, chasing the token of evil over different squares ranging from threat to democracy to nuclear threats, none of which are yet to be substantiated in a way that could justify the pouring down of thousands of missiles.
I am not a pro-war supporting a proven (yet to be proven??) nuclear armed despot or a testerone driven zealot kicking and screaming after the proud leader, what worries me is once the bombing comes to the end, we would have another set of people joining the already swelling ranks of miserable people in the Balkans, Afganistan and all the other countries who were offered a better future with the Liberators&&.
peace!!!!!
|
