| Username |
Post |
| SITARA |
Posted
on 30-Mar-03 03:24 PM
It was the day of my graduation! One whole grueling year had passed since I had come into DC. It was also my last day/night in DC before I left for Nepal. Mareea, My Bolivian friend, and I were sad as we had to say goodbye to our friends... all international; they had come for the same Educational counselor's training. That year had been rough as we had all fallen ill when practice teaching. And now, it was all over! Time to say goodbye to all and sundry and head back home!
"Chitara, les go aan parrti toniie!" said Mareea. "Wha abou hangin ou wee yurr Nepalee frens?". My Nepali friends were a group of Nepali guys, I used to hang around with playing basket ball and go hiking; really cool, fun guys.... really wonderful! Not having grown up with brothers, I just adored them. They had sort of adopted me when I had arrived at DC and took me everywhere except to strip bars and guy thangs! Many a times, I was also the butt of many jokes... especially while playing basketball. Everytime I dribbled the ball they would hollar....watch out for her nails, hawa phuskai dincha! Or hiking ma, "Sitara phaint bhayo bhani bokney jimma kasko?". And in exasperation, I would threaten them to line them all up and put bhaitikka on each one of them! The answer would be, "euta bhako chwank le pani tikka lagayo bhane kaslai jiskaoone?" But they would back off.
So, here was Mareea asking to hang out with my wicked bunch of friends! I looked at her said..."Are you sure? Can you handle them? Their merciless teasing?"... She gave a wicked grin and said " Thriee me babeee!".
So, I called up my best friends, two who had attended the Commencement...." Aatish, Mareea wants to hang out with us tonight as she is also flying out tomorrow!". Aatish Jhan ke kam " Senoritaaaa Mareea, oooooooh babee! But Sitara, please don't wear your graduation ceremony ko saree to the club hai.... pheri you might be over-dressed ni! haha!" Kyaaaaa mora raicha. So, I thought ok.... I will just shock and awe them!
Late evening came..time for me to get dressed. I was still at the small studio apt in Dupont Circle/Adam's Morgan and my dad had come for my graduation. "Daddy, hajur ko shirt ra tie laoonchu ni!". I explained to my dad about my friend's comment on my sari and he started laughing.... "Hey, its your day...go out and have fun!". I wore his off-white shirt and took his best tie, black jeans and black combat-type boots with heels, a female terrorist in makeup! Hehe! boy were those guys going to get a shock! My dad took one look at me and started laughing... "If you did not have such long hair and feminine features.... you'd look like my chorra!" Then Mareea arrived.... she looked stunning in a little black dress all ready to go out and boogie. "Chitara, no baad but, yu won be dancin too mooch too nigh!...if I ware a guy...I woo be scare too as yu..wee those boots!" I smiled wickedly and said, "you want to bet Mareea??????"
|
| SITARA |
Posted
on 30-Mar-03 03:25 PM
............. to be continued!****
|
| GurL_Interrupted |
Posted
on 30-Mar-03 03:29 PM
Lololololz, That was funny! Was it for real sis? Or is it fiction? :D, It was hillarious! :-D!
|
| el paso |
Posted
on 30-Mar-03 03:36 PM
Mareea sounds very perky, I must say. I just love hispanic chics...they are soooo small and cuddly and look like teddy bears. I had a crush on a hispanic girl, who used to work with me --black haired, short but thin, and very bubbly. She, however, was already taken, and in fact, at a tender age of 16, already pregnant. Oh, my luck! She did say that I was good-looking, which probably was only a compliment; but too bad, it couldn't go any further, as I didn't have the guts to whisk her away from her army boyfriend --a good buddy of mine actually-- who undoubtedly would have pummeled me had I tried to make any moves.
|
| PremPujari |
Posted
on 30-Mar-03 03:45 PM
ahem!!!
Nice start!! Ani Ani???
BTW, where is Mareeea, Mero ta crush nai parna laagi sakyo!! :P
waitin' hazurr!!!
|
| YoUnGblOOdz |
Posted
on 30-Mar-03 03:48 PM
ani k vo sitara ji...
waitin fo the next episode..
i hope i will enjoy next one.. as much as this one..
YB
|
| SITARA |
Posted
on 30-Mar-03 04:12 PM
Aatish and three of this friends arrived. They were still wearing the clothes from my graduation... with ties!!! "Oh ho Uncle hamilai ta club ma nai chirna dinai na... Sitara ley garda, herdai kootla jasto cha!".... Kyaaaaa, I did not look that bad, I thought...just not a conventional club goer!
We started walking out into Adams Morgan.... The guys and I looked similar in our pants, shirt and ties while, Mareea tried to catch up with us going clippty clop! clippity clop! It was a wonderful May evening. Adams Morgan was abuzz with recent graduates, euphoric air and ambrosic aroma. I felt free, happy, but with a tinge of sadness. I was going to move away from this apt, this town and my friends. Dupont circle and it's International environment had always made me feel at home. Little coffee shops and book nooks were my favorites when studying. Dupont circle, the capital of homosexuals and people with Bohemian lifestyles, has a charm... tolerant and friendly people. But the club goers were usually from Virginia and Maryland.
Just then, two three guys walked by... we assumed they were gay as one of them were dressed as a dragqueen. Then, one of them (not the drag queen) turned around and pointed at me saying "Hey, look cool!!!....and you guys too!". aatish muttered, "Yo sitara le, hamilai marne bho aaja.... Now the whole gay world will think ke ke!!!"... I grinned at him and said "homophobic hajur he!he!???" "No! not homophobic just paranoid.....! khurukka little black dress nalagayera....!!!" Then he looked at Mareea and said, " Senoreeeeeeeta, You want, I carry you?" Mareea said, "shoor Aaateesh, you bee my peeg and geeve me piggy byaak ri???" Ha!ha! I nearly choked! Aatesh ta speechless. Then, Binay came he was Da Rambo of da group!
Binay was hmmmmm special. He had a good heart, extremely goodlooking and and body building was his favorite pastime. He had an attitude, walked very macho... arms akimbo, and because of his heavy biceps and triceps, thigh-ceps swaggered a little. He was da looker but not da speaker! He spoke with a "Yo! who dis?" accent and a a very cute boyish smile. He was trouble, was in trouble, created trouble and tripped into trouble alllllll the time. Clumsy when it came to girls, great sense of humour, big ego and a short fuse! Going into their apt was hazardous to health as the door was boobytrapped with weights lying on the floor, weight machines and GQ mags. But, he was really nice beneath his macho-ness.
"Yo Mareea, Binay!" Binay came up, his sleeves rolled up showing off his bulky muscles. Mareea took one look at him and rolled her eyes him saying "ooooooooooh! I lie tha!.... you wanna be ma peeg, Aatish is scare!" and she winked at Aatish and me! Oh no! I thought, she was in for a night! Binay had two left feet...beeg feet that stepped on toes!!!
...........To be continued********
|
| hajurko_juhai |
Posted
on 30-Mar-03 04:22 PM
Sitara,
Your story dami chha.....
keep it up...
|
| acharya |
Posted
on 30-Mar-03 06:26 PM
sitara hajur,
kun vishwavidyalaya paryo hajur ko ?
waiting hajur!
|
| SITARA |
Posted
on 30-Mar-03 07:14 PM
So, Binay stepped beside Mareea.... a happy smile on his face. He was da one wid da gal!!!! hehe!
The compliments-man was there as always. " Tie matches your hair ma'am!!!!" He hollard at me and "ooooh Lady, I love those heels!" at Mareea. "Ya riie, he always lookeein at my buuuth!". Aatish piped up, " oooooooh reeally? whats wrong with yur buuth?... let's have a look see!". I elbowed Aatish..... "Pitla tyahi heel le!" Aatish winked at me and said, "la la!". I whispered, "shhhhhhhhhh!!!!....Binay is trying to make conversation with Mareea!". All the guys pretended not to listen! ya!
"Ahem! so you are from Bolivia.... dey sell drugs dere, right? hahaha!.....just kidding hahaha!!!!!" I winced! "Druuuuug? Boleevia, no same aas Colombia... and Mexico ees no same aas Colombia!!!", she glared at him! Aatish coughed, actually choked! The other guys laughed, " udhayo udhayo!" But Binay was brave, " He he! just wanna say you look beautiful! Came out wrong!!". 10 points for Binay, he got a smile from Mareea.
As we were walking, prom-wallas and wallis were hanging around the restaurants. Limousines were lined up and 18th street was packed with celebrating young people. We, Mareea and I had graduated! ...finally! I had applied for jobs but had not heard from them, yet; so, I was resigned to go back to Nepal... but my academic training was such that it would be difficult to find a job there. It had been the same for Mareea and she was leaving for Bolivia the next day too. I would miss her as she had become my friend and almost a sister.
We arrived at "Cities" Club and entered the festive place. There were seven of us; the other three guys were the shy ones; shyness did not stop them from looking though! But they were not very adventurous; all three needed company and a little bit of a buzz to go to the floor and dance. They were not wild, just jovial after a few drinks. Everyone got a drink, a Heiniken and stood around the dance floor * checking out* the *scene*. The *scene* was of a group of gals in itsy bitsy teeny weenies, tittering around doing the "oops I did it again" thang, eyeballing guys and giggling. I looked at our guys and said, "hey go ask them to dance!" Kyaaaaaaa they would not budge! "Pakhana!!!".
"Yo Mareea, wanna dance?" asked Binay. "Surr babeeeee, lea me on!" said Mareea with a glint in her eyes. I tried to warn her with my eyes. Too late! she had been He-Manly swung off her feet onto the dance floor. Binay had firmly put his arms around Mareea and was trying to do some fancy steps. Now, the thing with Binay's dancing is that his muscular frame was not very flexible nor too graceful. He needed a certain circumference- space around him....arms and legs at horizontal position circumference. That always cleared the floor around him. His flailing arms and legs were Rambo-esuely lethal when in action. He was better off dancing "Everybody wants Kumfu Fighting!...."
Above his arms Mareea's eyes peered at me begging me to save her. Aatish was beside himself laughing at Binay's attempts at close-dancing. Just then, the "Macarena" started.... Everyone's cue to jump in!!!!!!! Safe stepping even for the shyiest one of us!
.................To be continued******
|
| Maahili |
Posted
on 30-Mar-03 09:30 PM
Harey, yo "To be continued" le ni maaryo... Sitara di, sabai ekai choti post garnu na ho.....Needless to say your story is as good as ever... launa chado, the whole story Plz :)
|
| isolated freak |
Posted
on 31-Mar-03 06:23 AM
a series of "memories" ! :-)
|
| Rusty |
Posted
on 31-Mar-03 08:23 AM
waiting for next episode:)
|
| jira |
Posted
on 31-Mar-03 08:29 AM
Jhinchyaak cha ni estori ta :-)
|
| SITARA |
Posted
on 31-Mar-03 10:07 AM
He! he! Thank you friends for your comments! I am definitely following the footsteps of Oys ji ko "Memory Lane"! Will complete later.
|
| DHUMBASSE (DUMBASS) |
Posted
on 31-Mar-03 10:49 AM
estori khatara cha, jhan little little detail ta betod ko..ani kura pani pheri kya milne ..mero yeuta sathi sanga..
kura testai 1994 ko ho..jaba ma khub janthe " Sportsfans" , georgetown, khaireko sangat thiyo, mero nepali roommate ra ma....ani jhayaappp nabhai ta dance garnai mandaina thyo....nnaayeko pani hoina..birshinthyo.. ani " ye !! m*8I, dance garna ja, u tyo chwakkk le talai heri ra cha" bhanyo bhane " pakh !! lagekai chaina!! nalagi aant nai aaundaina " bhanthyo..
ani lage pachi chahi bhuima khutta hudainthyo..ani janthyo yeklai dhunmunidai dance floor ma ra yeklai dance garna khojthyo..laddai paddai..kahile yeta ghuntunga dhalthyo..kahile uta..pura dance floor ma u matrai banki..kahile yeta break dance ladera ta kahile uta..ani securities aayera niklanu parthyo..Hunda hunda ta clubko ownerle pani chinne uslai ta...
ani pachi ta yeklai jane gareko thyo..kahile luga bhari kalo na kalo bhayera aauntho..kahile hilai hilo..ani dhunmunidai ghar aayera guff dinthyo..." aaja ta gajabko keti pattyai..datema lagya ka bhanna!! ka bhanta !! Junk yardma..yi tireko kalo ajhai lageko cha lugama " bhanera luga tira dekhaunthyo larbariyeko sworma..
wah !!kya yad dilaya hajur le..yo
sorry hai !! yesto ramro kathama haddi na banu hola..chadai sidhyanunu paryo katha....katti continued..
Maree ko nam le nai manma kaukuti lagiskyo hajuuuuuuuuuuur, jhan dance garnai pa bhe ta ke matrai hune thyo..:)
I won't blame Binaya ...re kya ajha lastama..:)
|
| Deep |
Posted
on 31-Mar-03 11:53 AM
Sun tain I lai the estori sun tain I don lai. Chitara, eyor estori is nai[s] ...rai the estory yesunai you can ....aai lai to reed
hai hazur.....ham pani Gloria sanga ghumya ho ni...zamana ma..
:)
|
| Deep |
Posted
on 31-Mar-03 11:55 AM
Sun tain I lai the estory sun tain don lai.....
this estory aai lai...chitara, rai mo bebiiii
|
| DHUMBASSE (DUMBASS) |
Posted
on 31-Mar-03 11:57 AM
Hanline bhaujule kasera ' lai khai teri glorria ' bhandai...haha ha deep dai!!
bhaujulai sajhama aauna na dinush...natra pheri..
|
| czar |
Posted
on 31-Mar-03 02:04 PM
Dyan ta tyaaaaaan ! Baanki kahani break ki baad ??
Fabulous storytelling..
Hyatteri..malai ni PP jastai.. Mareea sanga chanace ma danace garaun ki jasto jasto lagyo ni hau..abuii.. aafu nachna najnanney bha ra po..natra.. high espeed ni..
|
| sks |
Posted
on 31-Mar-03 02:50 PM
mareea......the quintessential young Hispanic woman!
Once again, nice job, Sitara!
|
| SITARA |
Posted
on 31-Mar-03 04:18 PM
*********** THE END****************
|
| SITARA |
Posted
on 31-Mar-03 04:18 PM
....Ok Makarena was not my thing, neither was the electric slide... I wanted to stand that one out and people watch. Yep, I love doing that....incredible how you can see the shy unwind, the combustible become volatile and the quiet ones just enjoy looking....swaying in their own private world. Notice the bodylanguage, the innuendos the pickup lines and the come hither looks!
"Sitara, come on join us!" Astish yelled over the din. I just smiled and shook my head. "Go, rescue Mareea, she needs to be danced away from Binay!" I said indicating toward a relieved Mareea . Aatish needed no second coaxing. I leaned back against the wall and closed my eyes...
The music changed to "Evil Ways" by Santana. Ok, Carlos Santana gives me a high.... absolutely love his music, the beat, the guitar and the teasing lyrics. " You make a pretty interesting sight, standing with eyes closed and dressed unlike any other girl in the room!" Startled, my eyes flew open and in front of me was a tall man looking quizzically down at me. "Oh! was listening to the music!.... Why, do you have a problem with the way I am dressed?" I smiled and shot back. "No, actually you stand out.... cute! confident!...need I go on?" He smiled back at me. "Hmmm, not a bad pick up line at all! Now that I am thoroughly flattered, you may stop!" One eyebrow raised (my trademark, mind you) I laughed. "You like Santana?...Wanna dance?" I replied "Sure!". He was a good dancer, pleasant and nice looking in a "geeky" way. "So, where are you from?....Middle East?" I shook may head "Nepal"... "Oh! and why are you dressed like this...If I may ask?" I did not reply and he took a hint. We danced two more dances before he introduced himself and asked if he could buy me a drink. I declined, and since the fourth song was a slow number, I thanked him and walked off the floor back to my look nook.
Mareea joined me, flustered. "Chitara, I weel keel you! You no war(n) me abou Beenay!... I waas worri abou my feet!" I laughed, "Hey why don't you teach him to dance....you like how he looks!" "Ya Rai!...but yurr frens aarr reel cool, a leetle shy !"
I looked at the guys; the three shy ones were clustered together swaying away. Binay, was macho-ly edging toward the group of giggling gals. Aatish was just dancing...he loved dancing, attractive, confident and very much unselfconscious! He caught my eye and waved to us. "Chitara, I don wanna go baac to mai coountri...there ees no jobes fur mee...an eet's no goin to be the saame." It certainly was a sobering thought. I just nodded and didn't say anything.
"Hey guys, don't looks so glum!" Aatish came up and put his arm around my shoulders...he had always been there "brothering" and protecting me. "On second thoughts, good riddance to you Sitara... now, we won't be harrassed by your wise-cracks!" he winked at Mareea and led us both to the dance floor. Binay had managed to hook up with a pretty, voluptous girl and was engrossed in gyrating toward her, while she kept a safe enough distance. He seemed a little more than just buzzed or was it just his lack of coordination...I don't know. But he did seem a little hyper! I nudged Maria and glanced toward our three shy guys and with a wicked grin, she twirled right into the cluster. Hehe! Boy were the guys surprised, flustered and flattered. Oooh and Mareea loved the attention! Next thing I knew she had them dancing with abandon. "Hey, I'm going to miss you!....You are the craziest girl I have ever met.... who makes *some* weird sense!" Aatish said with a laugh but his eyes did not!
"DAMN!!!!!!!!!! THIS PLACE IS TOO CROWDED! LET'S GET OUT!" Startled, both Aatish and I looked at Binay...he was angry, rejected and wounded with a bruised ego. I caught sight of his dance partner walking away in a huff. That was our cue to get out of any place... when Binay got riled up, it was better to leave the premises and get him to cool off. Aatish got visibly upset that it was ruining our last night in DC. and was trying to quieten him down. Mareea, took one look at the situation and flicking her hair back said, "Binay babbee, how abou one las daance?". Ofcourse our he-man could not resist such feminine charm and lurched toward her with "Mareeaaaaa, boneeta, aai caarramba! anything for ya babeee!". Binay was not bad; just another guy who needed/demanded female attention I suppose and whenever he started getting convinced that the girls did not want to dance with him because they were all Gay, it was definitely time to leave!!!!! Well, Mareea saved Da Rambo, his EGO, the women's sexual orientation and Our Last Night!!!!
Back at my apartment, I picked up my mail as I walked to my room. My friends had dropped me off amidst tearful goodbyes and big sloppy hugs from the guys. Mareea had driven back home wailing and I walked away, hoping noone had seen my brimming eyes which I hid behind my hair. "Hey, Sitara.... we'll see you at the airport .... just to make sure you are leaving!!!!" Aatish yelled.
Safely inside my apt...I burst into uncontrollable tears while I busied myself tearing open my mail. I froze in mid-motion... one letter was a job contract from a private school in Maryland!!!
That was Not my last night in DC. I was returning!
|
| OneGirl_123 |
Posted
on 31-Mar-03 04:44 PM
SITARA.... loved ur story!
oooo...by the way... who is this BINAY guy? ;)
jus wonderin
:)
|
| PremPujari |
Posted
on 31-Mar-03 05:17 PM
ani ani???
"The End" re kyaaa, balla ta story le momentum gain gari raa bela....
Aru pani jaawosh na ho, Sitara jyu!!! hehe.
Enjoyed a lot hai, baru Mareeea le po tuna muna laayo...
:D
One girl, I am not Binay hai.. kyaa bore... hehe!!
Thinkin' about quittin' cigarette and starting work-out seriously. 6-7 barsha ma ta Binay jastai hola ki, jyaango!! Dreamin' on!!
|
| chipledhunga |
Posted
on 31-Mar-03 06:16 PM
SitaraJI, ekdam ramro lagyo hai katha.
|
| DHUMBASSE (DUMBASS) |
Posted
on 01-Apr-03 05:08 AM
wow!! ....
BTW.. is the story based on true events in ones own life..just out of curiosity..enjoyed thoroughly....:)
|
| SITARA |
Posted
on 01-Apr-03 10:10 AM
Friends, thank you for taking the time to read this looooooooooooooooong anecdote.
Yes, it is based on true events; perhaps decorated with a little phool bootta! ;)
Dhumbasse ji, PP ji and Czar;
My friend was lively, a handful and a drama queen! Hehe! We did have a lot of fun that year. Mareea is in Canada now, teaching at a school in Montreal....she has learned to curse in French but with a Spanish accent!
OneGirl: "The Binay guy", is still as "special" as ever! :)
|
| tick |
Posted
on 01-Apr-03 04:40 PM
Sitara ji,
Loved your writing/story. You are truly gifted. Congratulations. You write well, articulate well, express well.
While reading your post I picture a girl 5'2" to 5'4"; 27/28 years old; gahaun gori, gahun ko matra ali badhi bhayeki ali kali kali, kapal kamar samma bhayeki, somewhere between 130-150 pounds. I do not know why I picture this girl?? Not trying to get personal, just wondering.. :-)
Tick
|
| tick |
Posted
on 01-Apr-03 04:40 PM
Sitara ji,
You have won a fan. :-)
|
| SITARA |
Posted
on 01-Apr-03 05:47 PM
He!he! Tick ji:
Thank you for your kind words! As for the other; jhandai jhandai kasto milaoonu bhayeko :) .... weight chahin ali badhta bhayo hajur, natra mero GAP jeans ma kasari fit huney ni?! ;)
|
| tick |
Posted
on 01-Apr-03 05:54 PM
Sitaraji,
Aba mero kalpana ko Sitaraji lai ali dublo banune kosish garne chu. Chini ra ghyu ali kam khana dinu parla. :-)
|
| el paso |
Posted
on 01-Apr-03 05:58 PM
Ok, the story is good, but let's just say, it's no literature. So please give it a rest, everyone!
|
| OneGirl_123 |
Posted
on 01-Apr-03 06:02 PM
PremPujari.... so ur not "Binay" huh? well work out more and stop smokin, u will get there!.... if not any time soon, but someday u will!
Sitara....that "Binay" guy, seems like MY ideal guy! ;) lol
:)
|
| SITARA |
Posted
on 01-Apr-03 06:29 PM
El Paso ji:
"Ok, the story is good, but let's just say, it's no literature.".... El paso
Thank you, for spending sometime reading it... (you know just one of those whims of the moment)! And, I am no trained Literary writer...neither am I a trained Literary Critique!:)
Tick ji: Imaginations ma the sky is the limit bhanchan!
OneGal: Hehe! I am sure you are what he needs; a gal with a good sense of humour! :)
|
| el paso |
Posted
on 01-Apr-03 06:36 PM
I see you felt affronted, Sitara ji. Sorry if you took it wrong. Look, if it was one of those whims of the moment thingies, then I very much love your story. It's really nice. Vivid description. I know I cannot write like you.
|
| czar |
Posted
on 01-Apr-03 06:44 PM
El Paso has a burr under his saddle. Whats riding you ?
Lets see some of your creative work here. We'll give it a fair reading.
Don't be shy now. Put your money where your mouth is.
|
| SITARA |
Posted
on 01-Apr-03 06:46 PM
El paso ji:
Hoina hajur, I did not feel affronted. I welcome any comments!
I was just trying to say...I enjoy narrative writing for writing's sake....part of the reason why I don't bother editing, revising or correcting my English (not a thing to boast about.... I know! :). Sajha has wonderful writers who awe me by their sheer magnetism...but thank you again!
|
| el paso |
Posted
on 01-Apr-03 06:47 PM
Sure, I'll write you a piece. Wait till Saturday though. I am pretty busy. I ain't no Ashu kabi. After I'm done writing, you'll be the one putting your money in my mouth. Be patient, dear.
|
| el paso |
Posted
on 01-Apr-03 06:51 PM
Sitara, you have top notch English, probably the best this forum has ever seen. Literature isn't just about grammar though, you know. I enjoy reading you....I don't know why Czar assailed me. Guess he just realized Russia has already given him the boots.
|
| czar |
Posted
on 01-Apr-03 07:00 PM
Why, given your earlier posture, one would have imagined that you regularly fire off minor classis even whilst waiting for the elevator.
Should we, perhance, contact Simon and Shuster as we await your literary masterpiece coming up this weekend ?
Either put up or shut up.
|
| yOuNgBlOoDz |
Posted
on 01-Apr-03 07:13 PM
khoi afnu life ma testo maja ko din haru hudina..
aba ek din basera.. kalpana (not the gurl)(shiv shiv shiv)/// tyo hamro nepali word cha ni kalpana.. tehi kalpana gerara euta kahani lekhnu parla jasto cha..
sitara ji... aajkel ta gap le pani waist 35 length 30 ko jeans banaunu lagya cha.. hajur lai dekhera.. ehehe.....
hope to hear more of em sitara ji..
YB
|
| el paso |
Posted
on 01-Apr-03 07:27 PM
Pray, tell me Czar, does a good film critic have to be a good movie director? I have no clue what you're getting riled up about. I wonder whether you would succeed in real life or not, if you were to write a book. Surely, book critics are gonna fluster you with that attitude of yours. And I didn't even say anything bad, really. Oh, and do you rule Sajha?
|
| czar |
Posted
on 01-Apr-03 07:51 PM
Critic: someone who can't hack it.
Sitara has a list of outstanding body of ACCLAIMED creative work that is longer than most people are tall. Expect your earlier nasty crack to be challenged.
It takes ability and courage to place one's work here. Why not celebrate it ? If one must, then provide constructive criticism. why drip acid ? There is such a thing as disagreeing without being disagreeable.
In that you had the grace to apologize to Sitara, I take my hat off to you.
I rest my case.
|
| prashant |
Posted
on 01-Apr-03 08:06 PM
Sitara maaranii ko lekhai ta ati kadaa .....never knew if one could blow others' mind out just by writing some simple things....maryo malai maryo!!.......darshan paune vaye DC auuna tayar hajur.....maane baba maane.....nasakine...
|
| SITARA |
Posted
on 01-Apr-03 08:07 PM
Lau na Lau!
Young Bloodz has just prescribed HORIZONTAL JEANS for me!!!! At the direction this thread is taking....I might just as well shrink and disappear into an extra extra petite Irregular...discarded!
:(
:) Goodnight all and Peace!
|
| SITARA |
Posted
on 01-Apr-03 08:23 PM
Prashant ji:
Dhanyabad! :)
|
| Arnico |
Posted
on 01-Apr-03 08:57 PM
Really enjoyed reading your story/narration, Sitara.
BTW, I was glad you posted the whole thing at once. I don't like cruising along only to hit "kramasha"....
|
| Lalupate*Joban |
Posted
on 01-Apr-03 10:30 PM
Move aside Samrat, Sitara is here. :)
|
| tick |
Posted
on 02-Apr-03 08:28 AM
Sitarajyu, I am working hard on my imagination..
;-)
|
| SITARA |
Posted
on 02-Apr-03 09:17 AM
Arnico ji... My pleasure!
Lalupate ji
" Udayo Udayo!" ;)
So nice to see you here.
Tick
Excess weight is hard to get rid of!!!
|
| Rekha |
Posted
on 02-Apr-03 08:44 PM
Sitara,
This is a great story, I can tell you put lot of time typing it.
Cool Cool..........................................................
This is probably one of the most interesting story I have read in sajha
besides Deep dai ko story.
Keep it up baby
|
| oys_chill |
Posted
on 02-Apr-03 09:45 PM
sitara jyu :)
SO what happened "NEXT DAY IN DC" ??? like PP said, bharkhar ta momentum gain gari racha :)
well, cannot deny was absolutely flawless! wickedly delicious as always! but just can't help feeling how ironic these memories tend to be......while it gives a fairy tale twist to some, and black pot of hell for others :) .....lemme catch the silver lining when i can still see it...
hmmmm.reality show has caught sajha? :P
Oys
|
| rajunpl |
Posted
on 03-Apr-03 12:56 AM
Kool, kool cool.Your flava is bad sitara.What about your boo's ni if you got one . :) .What happen after the jam.Somebady le lataryo ki.Ani afai mareeeeeeeeaaa I need a el milano bhandai booze bhayera catwalk gardai (streetlight light is my life) bhandai vocal gaa thiyo ni..?? :)
Kati kura haru ali ali lukya jasto lagyo ni ! :)
chao
|
| SITARA |
Posted
on 03-Apr-03 08:40 AM
Oys and Rekha
Thank you.... just some things/incidents that stick in my mind. :)
Rajunpl ji:
I have no clue what you are saying... sorry! hajur le pani kura lukayeko ho ki? ;)
|
| hajurko_juhai |
Posted
on 03-Apr-03 10:19 AM
SITARA jeu
Khatara lagyo ni....keep writing la...fursad payo ki sajha ma sutukka and i start reading these stuffs...
Want to see some more...
|
| RAJUNPL |
Posted
on 04-Apr-03 12:52 AM
Maile pani bujhiya chaina :). Bujhne bhaye ta degree jhundai halthe ni :) chao
shanti shanti
|
| Raksiya |
Posted
on 04-Apr-03 10:24 AM
Sitara, very good story. I read it meticulously and enjoyed as well.
|
| Raksiya |
Posted
on 04-Apr-03 10:46 AM
Ooh one criticism. It would be better, should you kept the story shorter. And also, I noticed that you are more like emblematic and metaphoric writer, who tend to use too many conjure and intricate words that not everybody may simply understands. Honestly, these readers DON'T give you *sincere* feedback. They just simply say, "Sitara, it was very good...", and they really (100%) don't know what you conveyed in your writing. Being a writer myself, I have seen many instances, where I get lots of sycophantic remarks from my friends; then, later, I realized how many people really understand my writing and how many honest feedback I get from my friends. I hope you're able to understand my allusion. But, you're a good writer tho.
Raksiya
|
| eminem8 |
Posted
on 04-Apr-03 12:26 PM
Alright, I will sum it up for you all................
I finished college, had no jobs, so had to go back home.
I decided to have a blast before I left the city, and back into the time-stopped land.
Got together with a spanish girl and some guys, and went to a club.
The guys were trying to take my friend home, but failed. A decently good looking guy asked me for a drink, i declined (the modest girl i am).
Came back home, found out i didnt have to leave...............
.................or was i too far off..........
ITS A JOKE.............
nice piece of work......................'ma'am'!!!!
Shady
|
| PREMPUJARI |
Posted
on 04-Apr-03 12:46 PM
On the contrary to what Rakshiya said,
Sitara Jyu,
Your writing was not that long ke. Ajhai jaawos... (The writing was posted on 4 parts and those 4 parts were posted on 2 days. Unlike some sajha poster who posts 15 pages at the same time. Tyo po laamo ta.)
About those vocabularies, ajhai kada kada jaawosh. Mero ta vocabulary khoob badhya cha. At least, someone is learning ke. Only can always double click, if she doesn't understand the meaning hoina ra? (thanks San)
About sincere feedback, what is sincerer than "It was very good".
Baru rakshiya bro, Vodka khola yaar... jaad dhokna mann laagyo, Friday laagyaa cha -- Josh chalyaa cha. (BTW, timro 8 lines ko comment ma I had to double click almost 8 times... ehh... Sitara jyu ko 4 parts ma pani tyatti double click garina maile... ehh)
|
| SITARA |
Posted
on 04-Apr-03 12:57 PM
Raksiya
Thank you for your comments...I appreciate it. About the length, I just went with the flow of the narration (my personal joy of narrating)....impromptu!. About the comprehension level of the readers in Sajha, I'd like to assume that they Do understand my writing (unless, expressed otherwise) especially like the one on this thread....It is simply narrative, not symbolic. However, I do agree with you on constructive criticism.
Emiem 8 ji
Wow! you found the time to read? :) Great summary (for those who like super short synopsis.). As for the:.... < "i declined (the modest girl i am). > Nothing to do with modesty, just stranger-danger and even stranger drinks!
|
| Raksiya |
Posted
on 04-Apr-03 01:36 PM
Sitara,
Please note that above critics from me was not totally in regard to this particular posting. Sorry for being deceptive. As a regular reader of Sajha, I have read your previous postings, so my remarks go to your overall postings.
As Prem Pujari said, length is considerable. I agree with him. Now, it's good that some of your readers, like Prem Pujari, are taking advantage of your mighty vocabulary. On the other hand, other readers may find your writing very intricate, or hard to follow. They probably don't want to flip the dictionary every time you introduce them a new fancy word. Nonetheless, they anyhow manage to confer you insincere compliments, for you've written such a good emblematic piece of writing or poem. I am not saying that you do not deserve these comments; you are one of the *best writers* at Sajha. I just don't know how you can amass any honest feedbacks from your readers. As for assuming that your readers do understand your writing, you should never take it for granted. Encourage your readers to give you honest feedback, and interrogate them what they really understood. I can give you many advices like this, should you like what I said, despite I am nobody you care about. Now, your aficionados might come after me with some retaliations, for your sake.
Again, this particular narrative story is very good and simple as I can think of.
Prem Pujari, well said.
Raksiya ^_^
|
| Raksiya |
Posted
on 04-Apr-03 01:39 PM
Prem Pujari,
Yaha pani feri gayeko jaado feri baljhiyo. Aja chai smirnoff nai khanu parla. Raksiya ko jindagi raksi ma nai bitne bhayo. Ani Prem Pujari ko jindagi prem garna mai bitne bhayo. K garnu.
Raksiya
"Drink until you pass out" ^_^
|
| bhedo |
Posted
on 04-Apr-03 02:01 PM
All right, no need to be so obsequious...I frankly didn't find it interesting .
If you really want to sound like an American, try using more idioms. Also watch your grammar. Anybody can flip a thesaurus, you know. High caliber vocab means squat. And why are you trying to impress Nepalis? People in here are mostly non-native English speakers. That's why I don't waste my time writing stories for this site. Nobody here knows anything about quality writing. "Chatroom English" won't do.
|
| SITARA |
Posted
on 04-Apr-03 02:32 PM
Bhedo ji...
Your interests and mine don't seem to co-incide.... very odd, I must say!
We are aren't we....all non-native English speakers... very piercing observation there!
"Time is a perishable commodity" but "Ignorance is bliss?" I wouldn't waste either if I were you! Smart man! :)
Raksiya ji:
Your observations are welcome!
|
| bhedo |
Posted
on 04-Apr-03 02:46 PM
What interests are you talking about? Right, we are all non-native English speakers, but if you're planning on writing a book(as you said it yourself), non-native speakers haru ko reviews won't do. Try impressing real writers. Come up with something original. Anybody can write about dancing and partying. What's so unusual about that?
Frankly, it's coz this site is rife with idiots...it's like if you disagree everybody is gonna gang up on you. See Sitara, that's why I like Surya. She would stand out, but you would fit right in. You aren't very original, sorry to say.
|
| SITARA |
Posted
on 04-Apr-03 02:56 PM
Bhedo ji
I would surely like to write a book....someday! :)
And I am glad you have found common grounds with Suryaji. And here is a sincere compliment; both of you stand out...!
Goodnight and have a good weekend!
|
| czar |
Posted
on 04-Apr-03 05:24 PM
Disclaimer: My apologies for the poor syntax, grammar and diction in the writing that follows. Readers are requested to make allowances for my poor language skills. I am from the third world and make no claims to familiarity with a thesaurus.
What hubris. Some of comments herein reek of arrogance and snobbery. The commentators make the misplaced assumption that all those here are inherently inferior because their English is is not flawless. Of course, it is then immediately ncesessary to sort out those misconceptions, especially in regard to their writing abilities.
Extending that thought further, then Isabel Allende and Gabriel Garcia Marquez's of this world ought to know their rightful place and shouldn't have ever attempted to draw breath, let alone write. English is not their lingua franca either, how dare they!
Now for that wretched Samrat Upadhya who dares tastelessly depict Nepalese as sexual beings. Someone ought to show him his proper place. Would it perhaps be advocated that some KKK boys tie up that upstart writer to the back of a truck and drag him a mile or so? That ought to teach him, huh.
A second fallacy that a few here cling to is that most participants are here to either to impress others or are desperately-seeking-susans looking for their fix of fame, even if its amongst this rather sorry lot. It never occurs to such that for those who are thrust into this alien society that prevents social contact to the extent they we were used to, this forum provides a wonderful gathering of other NEPALIS to satisfy our cravings for contact with those of our kind. And what an absolutely talented, marvellous lot they are too.
For those that can't tell quality when they see it, they are welcome to shove off without the parting wisecracks. Or they stick around and learn. Especially the insufferable, egotistical know it all who exists in a precarious and fragile mental state.
To quote Vito Corlone "There are some people who go through life saying 'shoot me, shoot me.' "
|
| noname |
Posted
on 04-Apr-03 05:54 PM
La maile pani 'Hajiri' Bajaye...
(Now that we are talking about quality english, i better write in Nepali.)
Sitara Jyu, I enjoyed reading your narration. SANDHAI JASTAI!!
Btw,
Bhedo....i follow most of your postings (unfortunatley can not keep track of all because you once said that you have many aliases! Niharika, a girl with the thong, was one!) I was particularly impressed by your thread on Michael Jackson (Wacko the Jacko....?). Critical and well observed comments!
>>That's why I don't waste my time writing stories for this site.
Where do you write? I am interested to read!
|
| isolated freak |
Posted
on 04-Apr-03 06:22 PM
Czar,
I agree with you 100%. I have been raising my concerns on how people, no matter how great/good ideas they have/post get sidelined because of their language skills. Sajha should be "sabaiko sajha" not the property of a "particular clique". I know many people, who come here, read the posts by bidwans and bidushis and are tempted to post comments here or want to share their views on many many issues, but have to resist their strong temptation to do so because of the fear of being not taken seriously or being sidelined or someone commenting on (or making fun of)their not-so-flawless English.
People who are concerned about the use of English should realize that this is a discussion board to discuss issues/ideas, not the language.
Having said this, I again ask people who have been resisting to post their informed/interesting comments here to come forward, register a nick and just POST. Hey Guys!! Come on.. Your views are as important as of anybody else and its by sharing you learn more... aaunus aaunus, sabai ko sajha ma aayera sajha bishaye ma guff garum..
Also, as others including Czar have already pointed out, let's be a litle appreciative to the posters who write/share their anecodtes/experience etc. If you can't be appreciate good things, then you have no rights whatosever to criticize them. Once you start to appreciate the works, then you can come up with constructive criticism. That helps you and the writer and everyone else who reads those lines. "hahah what a piece of )(*)( or I write better than you" these feelings should be well, hmmm flushed down the toilet..
So far, many Sajha Posters have been really accomodating to the new ones. There are 1 or 2 who are UPSET no matter what, but you learn to deal with them. :-)
|
| bhedo |
Posted
on 04-Apr-03 06:45 PM
Literature need not be written in English. Works of Rabindra Nath Tagore, Marquez, etc were translated from the languages they were written in into English. Czar, I guess you didn't realize that. I have Garcia's "One Hundred Years of Solitude" right in front of me, and it states that it has been translated. If it were translated by someone who isn't an English virtuoso, nobody would be reading the book. But still, what exactly matters in the end???? Clearly, it's the plot of the literature in question.
As you know by now, my beef with Sitara's "story" is that it is void of originality. Writing about parties has been done so often that coming up with something exceptional is pretty much out of the question. All right, I do concede that I was out of line with my patronizing demeanor towards Sitara, but look, patting each other's back will only get you so far. How about real criticism instead? You think nobel laureates like Garcia and Napaul and the like haven't received their share of criticisms??? So what's wrong in criticizing someone's work? I don't see anything wrong with that at all. Samrat Upadhyay's novel, "The Guru of Love" has a very nice plot indeed; so naturally, I am not going to put him down just because he is a non-native speaker. That doesn't mean everybody likes his book, however. There will always be dissenters; without dissension, there is no discussion, am I right? I am a yes-man in real life myself, just so you know....
Also, about Sajha being a gathering for Nepalis, I second that. That's why I come here too, you know. Having noticed people's sycophantic behavior time and again, however, it is by no means a place for people with writing aspirations to congregrate for receiving constructive criticisms of their work. If you're looking for constructive criticisms, follow Paramendra's footsteps.
Aside from her toadiness, I still like Sitara. And I don't know what KKK has to do with anything.
Also, regarding sites that I visit, I will keep them a secret!
Isolated Freak, I wouldn't be complaining had people been complaining. Nobody here complains except for a handful. And when you start complaining, it's like hell breaking loose. I just think people should be a bit more forward, that's all.
Disclaimer: I know my English isn't that good either; no need to rub it in.
|
| czar |
Posted
on 04-Apr-03 07:32 PM
An agile change in position and tone. Perhaps thats the way it was all along and I musta misread it. My bad.
|
| isolated freak |
Posted
on 04-Apr-03 07:33 PM
bhedo,
You have raised some couple of good points and I am with you on those. However, you see this site "full of idots" who "don't stand out", I see this as a platform for all (including the idots) to learn and to make friends. I totally agree with you when you say, the originator of this thread needs to have her pieces reviewd by the real writers but that would be an excellent thing to do if she were writing a book or writing for the American Journal of... She wrote it for fun and decided to post it here, people read it and posted their comments and in less than a week's time, this will be stored somewhere in the archives and no one will talk about it.
Criticisms are inveitable when you write for the public, writers need to learn that, but the critics too ought to realize that criticism for the sake of criticism just lowers their credibility. Criticize fine.. that's what a loyal reader does but offer ways to make the pieces interesting, without being pesonal or disrespectful.
having said this,and given the fact that you are 200 times more intelligent than me, I would take it for granted that you wouldn't gripe much about my angreji and stupidity.
Namaste.
|
| SITARA |
Posted
on 04-Apr-03 09:53 PM
Long live Nepali English, acquired english, standardized English, tutte phutte English, chat room English, Iconized English, Colonized English, Third world English!!!!
Although, I am shocked and awed by BhedoJI's (forgive my toadiness...sanai dekhi lagya baani hajur) English and intelligence, I do invite all and sundry who *phit* into the above categories to write in Sajha... I for one enjoy reading people's thoughts!
Noname ji..hajur ko hajiri yahan? :)
PP ji, Czar and IF ji good points!...
Namaste and Jai Nepal!!
|
| rajunpl |
Posted
on 05-Apr-03 01:32 AM
Bhedo,
Timilai euta timilai sallah.VODKA RELIGION (You might fall in this society) :).I was going to bring up this topic but I know I would again get the title of (oollu).VODKA is made up of potato doesn't mean that the non-alcoholic would drink because it is made up of potato.US basdaima amrikane gora jasari lekhnu parcha bhanne ke cha ra..? while sitara has better than that.One spanish would write in the same way i presume.
As far as i did say to sitara (your flava is bad). this means i like his/her style (writing).(what happen after the jam) that I was saying what happen after the party .(What about your boo's if you got one ) means what if you got boyfriend/girlfriend.(booze ) bhanya chahi rakshi ( kodoko rakshi joon mero gau ma mahango cha. ek bottle lai Rs 10 parcha).THough i don't like to add ain't .
To be honest i live in ghetto. which is far worse than the third world countries.In Third world countries some of the people stay far better than the first world's.The economic instability in the second world has even worse impact.For nepalese who happens to be PAISA KAMAUNA JANU in the second world has neither paisa nor education.(this is my experience when i went to earn money there though i am still poor and not in that second world.
Sitarajyu I did never try to religate your posts .It always been little intersrting that i laugh infront of screen sometime.same to the ISOLATED FREAK who's writing is ever educated and learnable.
I wouldn't be here in sajha if there were't a handful of people,That I always found more than interesting.Like whether or not sitara leaving DC . Iam leaving my second country tomorrow for the short break.I am tired working 24/6.hardly one day break.
chao.(-saturated survivour)
|
| freak of nature |
Posted
on 05-Apr-03 06:08 AM
raju ji I am quite surprise by your writing style whereever i saw.
>>>>>>raju>>>Timilai euta timilai sallah.VODKA RELIGION (You might fall in this society) :).I was going to bring up this topic but I know I would again get the title of (oollu).VODKA is made up of potato doesn't mean that the non-alcoholic would drink because it is made up of potato.US basdaima amrikane gora jasari lekhnu parcha bhanne ke cha ra..? while sitara has better than that.One spanish would write in the same way i presume.
. what is it? Is it a part of your philosophy? Give us some hint about it.
|
| PremPujari |
Posted
on 05-Apr-03 07:40 AM
Smells like something burning!!!
Sniff-sniff!!! Who's heart is that?
Stinks like the ghost of Jealousy.
People pickin' up somebody's use of vocabulary and language in the name of criticism, rather than criticizing the content? Dayummmm, I don't even wanna drag myself into such a biased discussion, which is the product of "daaro-laagne-heart and Khutta-taane-mentality". Some people really need to read "Push" and "American Dreams" by Sapphire, which sound more American -- A true American.
Noname, Bhannu parne kura ta sappai bhani haalyou, aba aru ke bhanaai bho.
Bhedo, Iso and Czarjyu le bhanya jastai, Let's not create an environment of self-consciousness, shall we? Ma ta just paranoid. Paranoid because, if people criticise the writing of Ashu and Sitara jyu, Haami le ta ke lekhaai bho?
Sitarajyu and every other greatest writers in Sajha, Aru pani jaawosh -- for the sake of avid readers of your writings.
Rakshiyaa, my myaaan!!! Smirnoff and taruni ko guff. kyaa combination hune hola bro. Gaadi tataam?
PremPujari!!!
|
| Poonte |
Posted
on 05-Apr-03 02:10 PM
Cheetaaraa lai ta cheethaarun...cheeeeetharun lagyo tyo shirt ra tie sang sangai...could you please make sure you took your boots off first? I left my "guard" inside a locker at the sports center...ehehe
Maarria...is she available? Seniorita ki seniorra? oooooooooooh...me aaso wanna chei aau huh buuth! Cheemoti dinthe!
Aaatish and Binay...well, who cares? :P
Nice, hajur! Aafai pugya jasto bho tyo club, Adams Morgen, Dupont Circle...Dupont Circle....oooooooooooooo...those hot men! I wish I could get turned on by them ;)
|
| SITARA |
Posted
on 06-Apr-03 08:26 AM
Friends, I learned a lot from this thread:
I love narrating for narrative-sake; I will continue to do so if/when the mood strikes me. :)
Raju ji: Life can be tough hoina hajur...especially working 24/7. Enjoy your holiday/break.
PP ji: Sniff Sniff; smells like Freedom fries/cries! :P
Czar, Raksiya and IF: We need more people like you to encourage reticent writers!
Poonte ji: Hajurlai laamo laamo kaancho chow chow (noodles) le chootna napugeko! kyaaaaaaaaaa....
hehe! Thanks! :)
|
| PremPujari |
Posted
on 06-Apr-03 08:42 AM
Sitara jyu,
Freedom lies hazur!! It's like Credit-card ko APR ni. The truth is written in microscopic letters on the flip side.
Baru hazur ko mood kahile "Strike" hune ho? How about today? Mausham ni 36/26/36 cha ni (ummm ummm)!!
Poonte dai lai Phone garna ni darrr laagyo yaar.. .Ke ke kura garcha!! eh
|
| Poonte |
Posted
on 06-Apr-03 08:52 AM
PP,
Birsiraa? Saturday ta hijo po ho kyara...ki teta tira Saturday nai aundaina hau? Hijo sutnu aghi ta jhandai 1 ghanta phone lai ghureko ghurai garen, bajya haina tyo bajiya phone! Bihaanai uthera feri "missed calls" check gareko...none re!
Hyaaaaaaaaaaaaa....daraunu pardaina...I am already taken kya!
|
| ou812 |
Posted
on 02-Jun-03 04:56 PM
:o) All smiles..... Finally completed the "Assuming I did not speak" SITARA JI. Must say Adam's Morgan and that area has certain VIBE. Had a ball the last time I was there with my friends.. Even did my Britney Booty Shake in one of the club/pub. Hehhehehe
"It's not easy love, but you've got friends you can trust
Friends will be friends
When you're in need of love they give you care and attention
Friends will be friends
When you're through with life and all hope is lost
Hold out your hand 'cos friends will be friends - right till the end"
Encore!!
|
