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shirish
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Posted on 02-14-10 2:51
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तिमीले ल्यायौ कस्ता रसिक लहरहरु !
कटान हुंदा पनि रमेका बगरहरु !
तहल्का मार्दै डुल्छौ स्बर्गका शहरहरु
पृथ्वीमा ब्यर्थै बाँचें भन्दैछ अमरहरु !
गलत पुष्टी भए तापनि खबरहरु
तैपनि दुख्नु कस्तो सबल असरहरु ?
पाउमा कष्ट होला छुन ति सगरहरु
ओर्लन राजी भए अग्ला ति शिखरहरु !
खोज्दैछौ मेरो जस्तै देखिने अधरहरु
अधुरा ठान्दो हौ म बिनाका सफरहरु !
जंहा नि तिमी देख्छ पागल नजरहरु
सल्बलि उठे खाँदी राखेका रहरहरु !
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Kesto_Manche
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Posted on 02-14-10 5:19
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Valentine day::: The day when chances of getting laid is extremely high!!! love these kinds of day will buy plenty of roses if i need too.
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aman
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Posted on 02-20-10 11:06
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SimpLe_KeTa
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Posted on 02-21-10 4:00
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O Ho! Aman re? Kun chai Aman ho? Maile chineko Sweety Aman ho ki? :)
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shirish
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Posted on 02-21-10 10:28
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significant change:
तिमीले ल्यायौ कस्ता रसिक लहरहरु !
कटान हुंदा पनि रमेका बगरहरु !
नहुंदा तिमी कुनै स्वप्निल शहर हुन्न
सपना ब्यर्थै देखें भन्दैछन् नजरहरु !
म हटें तर अझै खतरा तरेको छैन
बाटोमा भेट्छौ मेरा दुरुष्त कसरहरु !
भासिए तिम्रा लागि अग्ला ति शिखरहरु !
पाउमा पीडा रोक्न गरेका कदरहरु !
गलत पुष्टी भए निस्केका खबर सबै
तैपनि दुखी राख्नु कस्तो हो असरहरु ?
घामले चुमे सरि जमेको बरफलाई
बाफ भै उठे खाँदी राखेका रहरहरु !
छांयामा तिम्रो थप्प हराए भ्रमरहरु
बासना छर्दै फूल, गर्दैछ सफरहरु !
पछाडी फर्की हेर्ने बानीले हैरानी बढ्यो
अगाडी बढ्न फेरौं तरिका तवरहरु !
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nepalayan
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Posted on 09-26-10 1:56
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Well Crafted! Alteration seems compromising. First (of this page) have precious and carefully chosen language, which is "SOUL" of ghazal. Jay Hosh!
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SimpLe_KeTa
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Posted on 09-26-10 11:48
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. सबै मित्र लाई नमस्कार । --------------------------------------------------- Shirish जि को "भ्यालेन्टाईन डे गजल".... नाम नै दमदार छ, चमकदार छ । "गजल" धेरैनै राम्रो छ ।
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Shirish जि लाई पाठकको सुझाव:
 #1 Kesto_Manche wrote, "Valentine day::: The day when chances of getting laid is extremely high!!!" #2 Nepalayan जि wrote, "Alteration seems compromising"#3 Simple_KeTa wrote, "Shirish जि निर्णय गर्नुस तपाईको लेख गित हो कि कविता। " In music alteration, an example of chromaticism, is the use of a neighboring pitch in the chromatic scale in place of its diatonic neighbor such as in an altered chord. ... en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alteration---------------------------------------------------
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